Hello name is Blake I have some questions I hope give me some hope... :.ok I was married to this girl for 6 years cheated on her 2 times got caught the second time she left me for good... she took my 3 kids left state well she called me Saturday and we had talked for awhile she had told me she hasn't moved on but she was talkjng to other guys and some of thrm liked her... she said she gave me her blessings and I could move on anyway she said she was going to call me the next day and never did... well Wed came around she called and I asked why she didn't call and she said she didn't want to lead me on... I asked her if she loved me still she said she didn't anymore I really want my family back what can I do to make her want me again?

Also she didn't call for 3 months I forgot to say that part and we were together 6 years married for 2 of them were 23 and 24 sorry guys just mind is lost today after our conversation...

Are you going to be faithful from now on? Why weren't you before? And why should she trust you?

Yes now I will because the old saying everyone know u don't know what u got till its gone or u take it for granted its true... my boys need us to b a family again I really want to be how can I win her back?

She has lost trust, and to be honest you did not stop cheating till you got caught,? Or did you quit, have you been seeing or dating the girl youu got caught with ?

I was sort of dating her but then after awhile I was so down I knew I was doing wrong so I broke it off with her... yes I know trust is gone is it possible to win her heart back and how?

She said she doesn't love you any longer. I'm thinking this marriage is over. You know your wife far better than we do. What do you think you can do to repair the situation, even a little bit?

I mean don't get me wrong I wish I had that answer to just repair it a bit... I want to really be faithful to her now... I mean I can say all that to her but she has the trust issue like chuck said... I want to tell her so much when she calls but she never seems interested in who I am with or what I've even been up 2... I wish I could turn back time after feeling this horrible pain...

I mean don't get me wrong I wish I had tht answer to just repair it a bit
Well, if I were you, I would stay in close touch with my children. How old are they?

Almost 4 3 and almost 1 I try but she calls blocked so she calls when she feels like it says a little bit and hangs up... u think there is any hope for me getting her back...

Almost 4 3 and almost 1 I try but she calls blocked so she calls when she feels like it says a little bit and hangs up....u think there is any hope for me getting her back....
You've got to stop thinking of yourself and start thinking of your wife and especially the kids. What can you do to put your kids first? Are you sending support money? Cards? Notes? But do not send tons of gifts. Oh, do you know where they are living? The address?

She says she don't want money and I don't know where she's living... I wish I did cause I would b sending gifts and toys and all that good stuff... I always put them first but right now I just want them back but I don't know what my chances are...

She says she don't want money and I don't know where she's living....I wish I did cause I would b sending gifts and toys and all tht good stuff....I always put them first but right now I just want them back but idk what my chances are...
No, that's the exactly wrong thing to do, sending them gifts and toys. It looks like you are trying to buy them. You don't want to give that impression. If you contact her or she contacts you, all you will say is that you are sorry and is there any way to mend this. Don't get all gooey or apologetic or full of excuses. Keep it short. Give her time to miss you.

I do understand what your saying but you don't think 3 months of no contact wasn't long enough though? Ok for sure wondergirl you are awesome you make me feel like not all hope is lost I know I can change but its going to take time... I am just going to say sorry and den what hang up till her I have to go or keep talking

And if she says there is no way to mend this what I say?

And if she says there is no way to mend this what I say?
Say you're sorry to hear that, but you do understand.


You DO realize what you've done, don't you?

Is she planning to file for divorce?

She just called again sorry I was on the phone I said sorry I didn't want her back I just want to get along for the kids sake... I filed for divorce already...

And yes I do realize what I've done at this point I don't know if.there is any hope... but I got to try and c what happens...

What did she say when you told her you have filed for divorce?

Nothing really just it was for the best she knew a long time ago that I was filling cause I told her friend and her friend told her... but I don't know what will happen as far as me and her she won't give me her number either she calls blocked says I M not getting it till she knows I am not going to try getting back with her I did keep insisting but she wasn't nudging

idk what will happen as far as me and her
The main concern should be the kids -- not you and not her, but those three babies of yours. Make them the center of your life.

If she allowed phone calls, then what would you do?

Idk probably just b polite and say hi every once in awhile give me a chance to ask if I can call them..

Idk probably just b polite and say hi every once in awhile give me a chance to ask if I can call em..
Always be polite. No excuses. No blubbering. No prying questions. No confessions. Be a class act. Love your kids unconditionally.

You think I should act like I don't want to really talk like keep it short talk to my kids and say hey sorry to keep it short but I have to go... maybe it will keep her thinking and guessing... and my kids are my world I know its not about me or her but I want to be a family for them they deserve what every kid deserve and thts both parents being together...

You think I should act like I dont wanna rly talk like keep it short talk to my kids and say hey sorry to keep it short but I have to go
Don't talk to your kids about being away from them or about a divorce. This is your big chance to be the fun dad they want in their lives. If you can talk on the phone with them, sing kid songs like "Row row row your boat" or "Itsy bitsy spider" or "The wheels on the bus go round and round" or any kid songs you know, and get them to sing with you. Or on the phone or even in texting, tell them stories, maybe about a spider you saw and what you decided to name him and what the spider might do all day or tell them about a cloud you saw that looked like a big boat and tell how it floated along in the air. In other words, talk about stuff that is fun and will mean something to them, especially the older two. You've got to get past the focus on your failed marriage, and be the daddy your kids deserve.

Does this make sense to you?

I do understand this I mean I am a great dad as far as all that goes but yeah I can't get over her I miss her Sooo much! It's driving me crazy! I want to just snap my fingers Nd b with her again

That ain't going to happen and filing for a divorce takes some nerve when you are the one who cheated. TWICE!

Frankly guy, you get what you deserve and the courts will decide the child support, and visitations. I only hope you are true to your word and will be a good dad through all this.

That ain't going to happen and filing for a divorce takes some nerve when you are the one who cheated. TWICE!

Frankly guy, you get what you deserve and the courts will decide the child support, and visitations. I only hope you are true to your word and will be a good dad thru all this.

Bingo!!

I only filed for divorce so she wouldn't leave state she knows this if she came back I would dismiss the divorce of course... happens all the time... yeah filing those papers was the hardest thing I've ever done!

My advice to you sir, is to get off the pity pot, and stop scheming and coniving and worrying how to get your wife back, and instead of filing divorce papers to keep her from leaving the state, you should focus on setting up a way to give her financial stability, and security, so your kids can be raised.

I mean it was YOUR instability and bad judgement that started all this, and filing for divorce won't keep her in state, it's a slap in the face, and accomplishes nothing except send a clear signal that YOU still have control.

Its almost funny you took these actions instead of taking the chance to be responsible as you could have laid the ground work for remorse, and conversation through the right actions.

Setting up a bank account that you deposit into for your kids, and making sure she has access, would go further than divorce paper don't you think? Face it, filing papers after you have cheated TWICE, won't go over well in any court, anywhere in America.

Putting the needs of your family first is a better option, whether she avails herself of it or not, because its quite clear she is in no hurry to come back to you, nor will she be in the future. ACCEPT that fact, and start doing the right things for the right reasons for a change.

There may be no reward for you, you lying cheater, but it's the right thing to do as you make adjustments to your situation.

Or you can continue to be selfish (as all cheaters are), and continue to reap the consequences of your actions, so that's my advice.

Start doing the right thing, for the right reasons and have hopes of one day being a good dad, IN PERSON.

That's something to work for, and is better than sitting on the pity pot, lamenting your misfortune at being caught being a dirty dog! Should you take our advice you will find that it's the hardest thing you have ever done in your life, much, much harder than filing those papers against your wife for control!

And you should have figured out by now that that hasn't worked out to well for you, has it??

I filled the papers because when you do she isn't alound to leave state with my kids the papers weren't for her it was for the kids... and it has worked in my favor she is in contempt of court and she's looking at having to possibly give the kids to me which I want... and the money she won't take I make better money then most so trust my kids come first... she did what she did and is calling everyday getting nicer and opening the door and I will go in one day... as far as having an affair courts don't care why your getting a divorce they don't ask cause it don't matter unless law was involved so thts relevant to anything thanks for trying to help but get your advice straight lmao

I am not LMAO at your situation, but I am LMAO if you think you can keep a family with bully selfish TACTICS, and expect positive results.

Sure no law was broken, but a smart girl would have you taken to the cleaners right fast, and she still can so play nice fella, because your selfish actions have already caused enough harm, don't you think?

You think you have control, and are working her? LMAO at that. Its her that has the option of walking through the door, not you! And she has chosen NOT to so far. And good luck with custody my friend, because right now she has that too!

Just keep laughing your arse off, while you deal with the short end of the stick, and tell me what a great dad you are right now. Fact is you may INTEND to be in the future, but for now... you are a guy with kids that ran his wife away, and are not supporting them. Hope you can laugh your a$$ off at those facts.

Good luck with that, but have a lawyer ready, just in case she doesn't feel like laughing any more. That's some advice you can use!

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You want me to believe you are a great dad, when until Tal pushed you every post was about how to get your wife back. That includes the ones about how to be a long distance father.

You didn't have to file for divorce. You could have asked for joint custody and gotten the same result. Instead, you come off as wanting to punish her for leaving you.

I think she is wrong in not allowing you contact, but, quite frankly, I think she is afraid you will take the children and try to use them as leverage to force her to do what you want. Not surprisingly, that is pretty much what you have said intentions are in this thread. How many times in the past did she leave and come back?

At this point, your lawyer should be in contact with hers since the two of you seem unable to communicate like adults where the children are concerned.

Your behavior may not make a difference in a divorce settlement, but many judges will look at it when they determine custody. It is one thing to say you want your family and your children, but your actions speak volumes against it.

I don't know what you can do at this time to get the contempt of court charges dropped (if there are any), but I suggest you do your best and through lawyers or perhaps her friend and start mending bridges. Perhaps supplying a way for her to allow contact with the children that she feels safe with. Perhaps going to counseling. For yourself and maybe in the future for the family so that you can work together whether you are a couple or not.

By the way, having lived in a couple of places where the state line is less than 20 minutes away, I don't know how much of an issue that really is. Why are you so dead set against her leaving the state? If you were so afraid of it that you started divorce proceedings to force her to stay, then you must have some idea of where she might have been planning to go.