I just turned 17 and my boyfriend is 18 turning 19 in less then a month.we have been together a year in July. We haven't had the best relationship, we always argue and he is over protective and a lot of the times a jerk. All of my friends say I can do better. I have other guys I could be with but I just can't let my boyfriend go. I have cheated on him twice when we went through a really bad stage but he doesn't know about it. Ive gone out the past couple months a few times without my parents or anyone knowing where I am with 2 older guys and one of my friends. When I was with them we did mdma and smoked and drank and I had then best time of my life. These 2 guys are actually really nice and we are now good friends. After every time we went out I was scared to go home so my boyfriend had my back and let me stay with him. I can't even count the times he has tried to break up with me but I can't let him go. I think it is just because I am so attatched to him. The other night I had a small party at my house which I invited the older guys to and ended up doing mdma again and even cocaine. My boyfriend never used to take me anywhere we always just used to stay at his house. I think because he is over protective is why I feel the need to go out with other people since I am not aloud to talk to any of my friends by his rules. Also, one night after I went to a huge rave I went to my boyfriends house and he ran up to me and pushed me over and started shaking me and I actually thought we were going to really hurt me. I did drugs that night so I was really freaked out. However, after he held me and apologized and said it would never happen again. He never has time for me anymore. He works a day job then at night he works at a club on weekends so I never see him. Every time he breaks up with me I tell him if he stays with me he can have whatever he wants, I had to delete all of my friends and all guys off my Facebook and cell phone and he wants to have anal sex. I know he is just manipulating me but I still can't let him go :( what do I do?I am also beginning to think I have a drug addiction that I'm scared to confront anyone about except for the older guys I hangout with because they are nice and supportive and we have developed a close bond. What should I do? :( leave my boyfriend and be with my old friends or date one of the older guys because we have done stuff togetehr and says he loves talking to me and everything?

Actually from my view point he could do a lot better.

You are drinking and using drugs, and going out with other "older guys" and he is still there for you.

And guess what people who are adults have to work, he is working two jobs ( which you should be glad to see) so he can't run around, drink and make a fool of hisself. Well adults do the work first.

It is obvious he has matured and is more grown up, you don't understand the priority of life, the need to work, and don't have a problem cheating on your boyfriend.

So yes, do him a big favor and let him find someone who will treat him better

I do agree I am not the best girlfriend, however one of his close friends told me how he always lies and was planning to cheat on me. I know everyone's going to say we should not be together. The only one time I wanted to break up he called me and begged me to take him back so I did

The one word that pops out at me is "planning", that's doesn't mean he did anything. I fully agree with Fr, Chuck!

I think you need to stay away from your boyfriend and your new "older" friends you are doing drugs with.

It sounds like you are well on your way to the downward spiral that leaves you looking 45 at 25 with two or three kids by two or three fathers that you don't see anymore.

These are the years you should be having fun with friends and finishing HS and thinking about college.
Preparing for your future instead of screwing it up.

The time that your boyfriend grabbed you and shook you should have been the last time you saw him.
Never tolerate anyone laying hands on you in anger for any reason. That is an indication of a dangerous person.

Older men who do drugs with minors?? Think about that.
It isn't hard to figure out.