Hello,

My fiancée and I have been together for over seven years. We are going to be married this October 2011.

Recently however, I noticed he has been distant and really almost depressed. He came to me and sat me down on the couch to tell me he is really sad right now and doesn't know why. Fast forward two weeks and he tells me it is over relationship that is making him unhappy. I am pretty heartbroken. He told me I am too sharp how I talk to him and basically it has pushed him away. He told me in the past not to be so sharp, but I honestly never understood till now how it really drove us apart.

He left to go and stay with his parents to think. I am pretty scared. He left saying he doesn't remember any happy memories with us :( and if he didn't go home to think, we woulnd't stay together. Other than a few little emails (two), I haven't heard anything from him. I am trying to step back and give him the time and space he needs, but it is hard. I am afraid he will come back and end it.

Has anyone survived such a break before? A lot of the issues he said are problems are things that only time will fix. I really feel terrible I've never noticed these things before and absolutely never want to hurt him or push him away (which I have). I'd like to go to couples counselling if he'd ever want too. I am just afraid it is too late.

Thanks for your help.

Many couples survive a break, I don't want to give you statistics, but many do.

He tells you he's sad, and two weeks later it's your tone of voice or the manner of which way you speak to him.
I doubt this is the case unless your outright verbally abusing him. But of course I can't be sure the reason he has given you aren't correct..

What you do now is give him the space he needs. And if you haven't already, let him know what's going on in your mind about the whole situation, how you feel about him in general and how you feel about the information he has given you to why he is upset.

How old are you both? What stands out is that you have been together for 7 years, and just now making the move to marriage? Like to know what's the story behind that, and I think that he may feel some pressure at changing things after 7 years.

Yes couples can survive breaks, if after a time they both are willing, so probably best to let him think for a while without any pressure from you.

It seems the two of you lacked communication skills when you were still together and trying to solve problems by taking time out doesn't bode well.

By all means,leave him to his thinking,but, meanwhile, make sure you carry on living your life.

I agree with the other answers. Relationships can definitely survive a break, and, sometimes, can even be better afterwards - if both people are truly honest with each other and themselves.

Definitely give him his space, and, take this time to ponder over it yourself as well. Good Luck!