My ex and I were together for 6 years. We broke up about 9 months ago, however we stayed in contact and did several things which I am now ashamed of (I was of the thought we were on the path to recovery, she, of course, was not).

I've been in NC for about a month now, and I'm proud of myself for the progress I've made during this NC period. I've found new passions in life and have successfully directed my attention elsewhere (I joined a gym, got promoted at work, met some amazing new people, worked on projects which I have ignored for years, going to go back to school, etc).

The question is: we "shared" several accounts together, some in her name, some in mine (phone bills, cable bills, etc). In order to resolve the separation, I have found that I need to contact her in order to withdraw the necessary information as well as provide her with information she might need on her end.

What is the best way to do this? Is email the best? I'm also worried though, that if/when she responds, she'll send me some long, sappy love letter telling me how sorry she is or whatever.

Is there a way to be sure to avoid such pitfalls?

Thanks!

I suggest you sort out whatever's in your name-and leave her to sort out the accounts that are in her name.

1) Figure out all the things that you don't need her information for. Basically you only need to worry about the accounts that have your name on it. She can worry about those with her name.

2) Continue with the healing process. If a sappy love letter is going to flip you upside down, then you're still have ways to go. Once you've recovered properly, you will be in a better position to communicate with her if need be.

3) If possible, try to use a middle person to help you sort out as much as you can so that you can avoid direct contact.

I don't see why you have to contact her at all.

Phone the cable company, the phone company, gas, electric, and any other shared bills and make sure your name is not on the accounts. If it is, ask them to remove your name because you no longer live at that residence. If you shared any bank accounts, car payments, loans, credit cards etc. do the same thing. It is important that you don't end up with any surprises. If any of these were automatic withdrawals, contact the bank, and put a stop to it.

After you have taken care of your own business, then let her know she needs to take care of her business.

Handle your business, cry later!