preciousmoments
May 23, 2011, 05:28 PM
My boyfriend of 7 years and I broke up 7 weeks ago because he was going through depression and lost some feelings for me. He didn't want to stay with me because he didn't want to pretend things were good if he had lost feelings. We still talk everyday (he calls me) and we hang out often as well.
About 3 weeks ago he told me he started feeling better with his depression and is feeling happier. He always comes to be for advice support and when he is feeling sad so I can cheer him up. He also told me some feelings came back to him but doesn't want to rush into it because he wants to be 100% sure. The other day I asked what was going on with us (since he calls everyday like nothing is wrong and acts like we're still together) and since he is NOT one to talk about feelings or emotions as he gets very frustrated and says things he doesn't always mean, he got defensive at my question.
He told me that yes he is feeling better from his depression and yes he started getting feelings back but he doesn't want to rush into it and he feels as if I am pressuring him to come back right away. Although he told me to give him 2 or 3 months (although you can't predict how long this can take) I don't see how I am pressuring him to make a decision right now. I simply asked if he still wanted to be with me because he's acting as if we are together. I have been letting him come to me and do all the hanging out planning which is giving him his space so he feels in control so why does he still feel pressured? I mean if he can get over feelings of depression he had for a year by being positive (like I told him over and over) in a month I don't see how getting feelings back could be that hard.
He says he wants to be sure his happiness isn't just a phase he's going through and doesn't want to hurt me. He always tells me how beautiful I looked when we hang out and that he loves me. He always lets me know all the things he's doing, like where he's going who he's hanging out with and how I shouldn't worry about him and other girls. I act cool and laid back when we talk and if something bothers me I bite my tongue so I don't start an argument (although this rarely happens).
What are other things I can do to make him feel less pressured and feel ready to come back and continue getting feelings back. I don't want this to drag out since I have a gut feeling he can come back very soon. He says talking to me everyday makes him feel good and he likes doing it because it feels comfortable and right and he doesn't want to throw away our 7 years so why is he still so scared to commit? Is it because he wants to make sure this isn't a phase or what?
About 3 weeks ago he told me he started feeling better with his depression and is feeling happier. He always comes to be for advice support and when he is feeling sad so I can cheer him up. He also told me some feelings came back to him but doesn't want to rush into it because he wants to be 100% sure. The other day I asked what was going on with us (since he calls everyday like nothing is wrong and acts like we're still together) and since he is NOT one to talk about feelings or emotions as he gets very frustrated and says things he doesn't always mean, he got defensive at my question.
He told me that yes he is feeling better from his depression and yes he started getting feelings back but he doesn't want to rush into it and he feels as if I am pressuring him to come back right away. Although he told me to give him 2 or 3 months (although you can't predict how long this can take) I don't see how I am pressuring him to make a decision right now. I simply asked if he still wanted to be with me because he's acting as if we are together. I have been letting him come to me and do all the hanging out planning which is giving him his space so he feels in control so why does he still feel pressured? I mean if he can get over feelings of depression he had for a year by being positive (like I told him over and over) in a month I don't see how getting feelings back could be that hard.
He says he wants to be sure his happiness isn't just a phase he's going through and doesn't want to hurt me. He always tells me how beautiful I looked when we hang out and that he loves me. He always lets me know all the things he's doing, like where he's going who he's hanging out with and how I shouldn't worry about him and other girls. I act cool and laid back when we talk and if something bothers me I bite my tongue so I don't start an argument (although this rarely happens).
What are other things I can do to make him feel less pressured and feel ready to come back and continue getting feelings back. I don't want this to drag out since I have a gut feeling he can come back very soon. He says talking to me everyday makes him feel good and he likes doing it because it feels comfortable and right and he doesn't want to throw away our 7 years so why is he still so scared to commit? Is it because he wants to make sure this isn't a phase or what?