Hello.. I'm 15 and my boyfriend that I have been with for a month and abit is 18. I have found out today I have chylimidia and I know I have catched it from my partner. How can I tell him this because are relationship is going so well that I don't want to lose him but if I got it treated and he didn't that would put me off sex with him? Or any type of sexual intercourse. He isn't exactly understanding when it comes to these things he would twist it saynig I gave him it spread about that I have/had chylimidia and gave it to him? I would really appricate it if anyone could take some time and give me some advice on how to tell him because I would love to have sex life with him without all off this complications. And I am starting to think why I am not going mad at him for giving it to me, so why should he get made if I am willing to stay with him after giving me a STD and just wanting him to get it treated for his own health? Thank you.

If you continue to have sex with him and he isn't under a doctor's care for chlamydia, you will be repeatedly reinfected. Is that okay?

Yeah that is okay. Um what if I didn't tell him and just carried on using a condom what will happen? And what if he gave me oral sex and I never had it and he still did will he give it back to me through oral? Even if I didn't give him none?

He doesn't sound like the kind of guy who wants to use a condom. And you'll put a condom on him when you have oral sex with him? He'll be overjoyed.

"Even though symptoms of chlamydia are usually mild or absent, serious complications that cause irreversible damage, including infertility, can occur 'silently' before a woman ever recognizes a problem. Chlamydia also can cause discharge from the penis of an infected man."

In which country do you live?

He doesn't like wearing condoms but I make him even oral sex. And I live in england?
So if he went down on me when I don't have the std and he still has it will he pass it back after going down on me?

Yes, he can pass it back to you. You both need to be treated.

If you care at all for your boyfriend you will tell him - chlamydia can cause serious, lifetime problems. If you do not get treated for chlamydia, you run the risk of several health problems.

"For women. If left untreated, chlamydia infection can cause pelvic inflammatory disease which can lead to damage of the fallopian tubes (the tubes connecting the ovaries to the uterus) or even cause infertility (the inability to have children). Untreated chlamydia infection could also increase the risk of ectopic pregnancy (when the fertilized egg implants and develops outside the uterus.) Furthermore, chlamydia may cause premature births (giving birth too early) and the infection can be passed along from the mother to her child during childbirth, causing an eye infection, blindness, or pneumonia in the newborn.
For men. Chlamydia can cause a condition called nongonococcal urethritis (NGU) -- an infection of the urethra (the tube by which men and women pass urine), epididymitis -- an infection of the epididymis (the tube that carries sperm away from the testes), or proctitis -- an inflammation of the rectum.

If you are old enough to have sex you are old enough to handle the consequences. If you can't handle the consequences, then you are too young to be having sex.

Are you prepared for a pregnancy?

Isn't 16 the age of consent in England? And you are 15?

Isn't 16 the age of consent in England? And you are 15?

Great catch - yes, it's 16. Now there's a whole new set of problems.

Just out of curiosity - who diagnosed the Chlamydia?

You may not care about your own health, but if you really care about your boyfriend then you have to tell him.

If he leaves you because of it then obviously he's not as wonderful as you think he is.

Personally, I'd be relieved if he left. He's way too old to be having a sexual relationship with a child. He's a predator. Your relationship with him isn't legal.

Do your parents know about this?

You may not care about your own health, but if you really care about your boyfriend then you have to tell him.

If he leaves you because of it then obviously he's not as wonderful as you think he is.

Personally, I'd be relieved if he left. He's way too old to be having a sexual relationship with a child. He's a predator. Your relationship with him isn't legal.

Do your parents know about this?


I don't know law in the UK - wonder what the responsibility of the Physician who diagnosed her is.

Yes that's right?

Ella, does your doctor know you are only 15?

Do you know what that means, that you are under the age of consent?

I'm a very mature 15 year old and yes I know the law. But my boyfriend can't help the way he feels and nor can I yes my parents know and they have met him and like him they thought differrent before hand but after meeting it is all fine. And I went to brook clinic in the centre of bristol. They dignoised me. Its for under 25's only so yes the legal age is 16 but they help teenagers under the age of 16 to. I don't really care what you have to say about this I find it normal. And at the end of the day I'm happy. I do care about my health this is why I took the test and caught it from him. It wasn't exactly planned now was it?

Yes my doctor knows my age and yes I know but becus I went to clinic they don't need no consent if I'm old enough to have sex I'm oold enough to deal with it. And at the end off the day I'm very mature I never said I couldn't deal with the problems but I wanted some advice.

What you and your parents (and the Doctor) think or how you feel is immaterial - your boyfriend is a rapist in the eyes of the Law. All you need is one person to report him - a friend's parent, your parents, someone else.

A very mature person wouldn't be withholding information which could very seriously impact her partner's future health and ability to have children.

That's the thing my friends wouldn't do that my family wouldn't if you knew the area I lived in and the people I knew and if you knew me no one would do that to me and my boyfriend plus he isn't a rapist when he found out how old I was he didn't want nothing to happen but he fell for me. He didn't plan it. And I'm 16 in a few days. And I will tell him eventually its hard to just come out and say it. You wouldn't know what he is like and what he is capable to do.

you wouldnt know what he is like and what he is capable to do.
Yeah, sounds like he loves you a lot.

I wonder what other STDs he will give (or has already given) you.

I meant that in a way that my whole life would be ruiend he isn't understandable he wouldn't just say yeah lets go get me treated he would twist it sayi gave it to him break up with me and tell everyone I gave it to him. And I've been tested for everything else thank you! And I have nothing else. It was becus before we got together he had sexual intercourse with one of my friends which have it but doesn't know about it. Stop getting rude please just because I'm 15 it dose not mean nothing. Age is just a number and always will be!

i meant that in a way that my whole life would be ruiend he aint understandable he wouldnt just say yeah lets go get me treated he would twist it sayi gave it to him break up with me and tell everyone i gave it to him. and ive been tested for everything else thank you! and i have nothing else. it was becus before we got together he had sexual intercourse with one of my friends which have it but doesnt know about it. stop getting rude please just because im 15 it dose not mean nothing. age is just a number and always will be!



More proof that you are not mature.

Age is just a number, huh?

So you'd be okay with having sex with an 80 year old? How about a 4 year old? Age is just a number, after all!

You are in a BAD relationship if you know he'd ruin your reputation if you told him you caught an STD from him.

Congratulations! You're an idiot who is staying with someone abusive.

You're so smart that I hope you don't tell him, you reinfect yourself, and it causes infertility for the both of you so that NEITHER of you can pass on your idiotic genes.

Do you WANT to never be able to have children? That's what will happen if you stay with him and you are not BOTH treated.

Don't you think he should know what he's carrying around and giving to girls? And he's true to you, of course, and wouldn't think of sleeping around.

I am mature. I wouldn't do something like that. Its him. And to be honest here why the f*** you trying to say I'm immature or even trying to justify yourself with my maturaty. You don't know me this website is for help. I asked a complete different question, was my question ' I am mature'?
No it wasn't. What you tryying to do here? Getting some weird enjoyment on pissying of a 15 year old girl. And I'm not a child I'm a adolescent and in a few days classed as a adult. I am very very mature I work in a care home already as a support worker for old people.
But back to the point if you have no friendly, supportive advice could you just leave my question please. Thanks.

You are underage, you are being sexually abused, and you got an STD from a guy whom you are so afraid of that you dare not tell him what he did to you.

What did I miss?

I am not stupid I'm getting myself treated tomorrow morning at brook clinic when I get back to his house I am going to sit down and tell him. I wouldn't have sex with him if I've treated myself and he hasn't? Yes I would like children thanks. I'm not in a bad relationship its just boys for you can't you lot remember back when you was young because I'm pretty sure you'd be in the same boat okay. Unless your all elderly and can't remember back then.

That he cares for me. I don't want to tell him because I don't want to lose him and yeah I have my uncle with me now and he is 45 he has even said that if it was him and girl saying she had it he wouldn't be understanding I need boy advice you girls just don't understand what goes threw the brain of a boy. Sorry but my dad is a phychologist and he would know

I would never have dated a guy like that -- and I didn't. I dated guys who respected me and cared about my welfare (and their own) and who wouldn't trash my name.

Well how old are you then because you obviously haven't lived in my generation grama or have any children from places we are from.

my dad is a phychologist and he would know
I also know, am a professional counselor, and know what goes through (not "threw") a guy's mind.

Well then stop acting like I'm not right? When I know I am a teenage boy that acts younger and more immature than he should wouldn't be like that even if he thought he was a bad kid. And I'm a younger I like to right in slang thanks

well how old are you then because you obviously havent lived in my generation grama or have any children from places we are from.
I am not a grandmother, and I have experience you can only dream of.

Now, back to your question. Have we sufficiently answered it, or do you have any others?

Oh, because we've NEVER had relationships with boys, so we don't understand?

I was in a relationship a LOT like the one you're in now when I was your age. The BEST thing I ever did was get out of that relationship.

Whatever, though. You want to hear what you want to hear, and not what we have to tell you. You want advice that fits what you already think you should do, not advice on what's actually best for you.

You're dating a guy that had sex with an underage girl after less than a month of dating, and you're more worried about KEEPING him than you are about the fact that he put your health at risk?

Yeah, that sounds REAL mature. It's soooooooo mature to care more about whether a boy is going to leave than you care about the fact that he gave you a disease that can make you sterile.

Good job.

Glad I'm not going to have to worry about your intelligence and maturity reproducing.

well then stop acting like im not right? when i know i am a teenage boy that acts younger and more immature than he should wouldnt be like that even if he thought he was a bad kid. and im a younger i like to right in slang thanks
Huh? That makes no sense. I'm guessing it's your poor spelling. And no, you're not correct in how you are thinking.

"my dad is a phychologist"

Well, if he is I hope HE can spell it. I'm surprised that your Uncle is okay with child abuse.

I am also amazed that "Brooks" hasn't reported your boyfriend.

WG, the part you missed is where the boyfriend used to have sex with her girlfriend.

Nice that he's limiting himself to one social circle, though.

And, yes, it is good news that this STD will keep both OP and her boyfriend from populating the World.

Well then stop being rude to me I wouldn't be rude back. Give me respect ill give you respect just because you're an adult it doesn't mean you can treat me any different to anyone else because I'm a child. And nope that's all thanks

well then stop being rude to me i wouldnt be rude back. give me respect ill give you respect just because your an adult it doesn't mean you can treat me any different to anyone else because im a child. and nope thats all thanks


Good news - you admit you're a child, acting like a child, thinking like a child.

You earn respect. It's not a given. Earn respect and it'll be given to you.

I think this thread is done - anyone care to close it?

And, poof, "that's all" and she's gone.

(Wonder what her lifetime plan is? Abusive boyfriend followed by abusive boyfriend? At least the STD very possibly rules out "unwed mother.")

well then stop being rude to me
Ummm, I was nice until I got slapped.

I'm a child.
Please make sure that 18 y/o guy knows that.

News flash - she KNOWS he's playing her. She's "addicted" (her words) to him. She's giving other people advice. Here's a totally different story - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/he-just-playing-me-he-really-likes-me-but-not-ready-relationship-577055.html#post2805074.

Troll? Attention getter? Something else?

Oh, because we've NEVER had relationships with boys, so we don't understand?

I was in a relationship a LOT like the one you're in now when I was your age. The BEST thing I ever did was get out of that relationship.

Whatever, though. You want to hear what you want to hear, and not what we have to tell you. You want advice that fits what you already think you should do, not advice on what's actually best for you.

You're dating a guy that had sex with an underage girl after less than a month of dating, and you're more worried about KEEPING him than you are about the fact that he put your health at risk?

Yeah, that sounds REAL mature. It's soooooooo mature to care more about whether a boy is going to leave than you care about the fact that he gave you a disease that can make you sterile.

Good job.

Glad I'm not going to have to worry about your intelligence and maturity reproducing.

Not being funny but I have just said I'm getting myself treated tomorrow morning so I am worrying more about my health but the same time not up for losing my boyfiend but going to find it hard to tell him so you don't know nothing so go away

News flash - she KNOWS he's playing her. She's "addicted" (her words) to him. She's giving other people advice. Here's a totally different story - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/he-just-playing-me-he-really-likes-me-but-not-ready-relationship-577055.html#post2805074.

Troll? Attention getter? Something else?

I am not a attention getter and not being funny this isn't even about my boyfriend that advice, its about a different boy. This is my first relationship since omg if ALL off you lot knew what it is like to be me you would know why I'm with my boyfriend and stuff okay.

So tell us what it's like to be you.

From the age of 5 having an alcoholic mother that decides she wants to emotionaly blackmail you day in day out, taking the responsibilitie to look after your 2 year old little sister having no money , food , or clean clothes in the house. Getting abused, having to learn by myself to cook and clean. Getting took by socail services.. looking in the mirror each day telling yourself your'll end up nothing like your mother but seeing yourself becoming more like her each day.. drinking at 15 , smoking druggs, getting minipulated by older boys.. getting walked over because you have no care in the world no more. That's what its like to be me!

YOu can't tell me to go away. You can't decide who responds to your question.

If you were more concerned about your health than about your boyfriend, you would not only TELL him about the STD that HE gave you, you would be DEMANDING an explanation of why he didn't tell you he had it, and REFUSING to have sex with him until he was treated and clean.

But--you care more about keeping a guy who has no problem having sex with a 15 year old (or more than one 15 year old) and not getting tested for STDs and passing them on indiscriminately. He's a jerk, and you want to KEEP him, instead of being completely HORRIFIED and ANGRY with him.

Yeah... I completely question your judgment on this.

Not 15 year olds.. only me? He had sex with my friend but I have no friends my age all older so yeah . And because I don't want to be angry.. I'm angry with myself more than anything okay
Just pelase go away

from the age of 5 having an alcoholic mother that decides she wants to emotionaly blackmail you day in day out, taking the responsibilitie to look after your 2 year old little sister having no money , food , or clean clothes in the house. getting abused, having to learn by my self to cook and clean. getting took by socail services.. looking in the mirror each day telling your self your'll end up nothing like your mother but seeing yourself becoming more like her each day.. drinking at 15 , smoking druggs ,, getting minipulated by older boys .. getting walked over because you have no care in the world no more. thats what its like to be me!


And where is your "phychologist" father in all of this? He apparently is well educated, well employed, stable - and has money.

Your story has big, gaping holes in it. I don't doubt that you are disturbed. I do doubt that you are telling the truth.

You are so angry at this point that you don't even make sense: "its not about the same boy. and seriously grow the **** up trying to intimidate a 15 year old. trying to make me feel like a right divbo. seriously your on about me to grow up take a look in the mirror. you wouldnt even know if it came and slapped you in the face."

And what is a right divbo?

I hope you seek some help before it's too late - I would think that watching your mother, living the life you've claimed you've led, you would NOT want to be like her instead of following in her footsteps.

And don't assume that every "adult" who posts here has had an easy life. Some of "us" have stories you wouldn't believe. We just don't insult people and spend our lives wallowing in self pity.

And now I'll tell you how foolish (if not stupid) you are (as long as you are busy criticizing "us") - you use your real name AND the clinic where you were treated as well as your age. Your boyfriend is a rapist - yet you give all this info. That's not terribly smart.

from the age of 5 having an alcoholic mother that decides she wants to emotionaly blackmail you day in day out, taking the responsibilitie to look after your 2 year old little sister having no money , food , or clean clothes in the house. getting abused, having to learn by my self to cook and clean. getting took by socail services.. looking in the mirror each day telling your self your'll end up nothing like your mother but seeing yourself becoming more like her each day.. drinking at 15 , smoking druggs ,, getting minipulated by older boys .. getting walked over because you have no care in the world no more. thats what its like to be me!
Now I understand better. You've had a lot on your plate, haven't you. And this guy that you're with now seems to be offering you a grownup kind of love that you've not had before and some stability because he's older.

I never lived with my dad at this time this is why my life has got abit better but I'm not 100% stable. And I isn't wallowing in self pitty its just hard. Could you please help me on how to tell my boyfriend please? Because id rather him come with my tomorrow and both get it treated.

from the age of 5 having an alcoholic mother that decides she wants to emotionaly blackmail you day in day out, taking the responsibilitie to look after your 2 year old little sister having no money , food , or clean clothes in the house. getting abused, having to learn by my self to cook and clean. getting took by socail services.. looking in the mirror each day telling your self your'll end up nothing like your mother but seeing yourself becoming more like her each day.. drinking at 15 , smoking druggs ,, getting minipulated by older boys .. getting walked over because you have no care in the world no more. thats what its like to be me!

So you've had a rough life up until now. Do you think you're the only one? I won't bore you with my childhood tales. I luckily at least had wonderful parents, but I still went through hell.

The difference between you and me, I didn't use my past as an excuse. I decided to break away from my past and become someone better. Yes, I went through a period where I didn't give a damn and I let boys use me. Thankfully I realized that I call the shots. I determine who I am and who I'm going to be. I didn't settle for crap. You are.

So you have a crappy past. Do you plan to have a crappy future? If you continue down this road, that's exactly what you'll have. It's up to you to change your future. We can give you advice, and you've gotten very accurate advice. We can tell you the right thing to do. You have to listen, and you have to decide what to do after all of this.

Right now I'm not holding my breath that our advice will sink in. You're 15 and you think you know everything. You think that because of your past, you're mature. You're not acting maturely. A mature person doesn't ruin her life by having sex with a guy that obviously doesn't give a rat's arse about her. A mature person doesn't do drugs, drink, and sleep around and then blame it on her childhood.

The future is in your hands. What are you going to do with it?

could you please help me on how to tell my boyfriend please? cus id rather him come with my tomorrow and both get it treated.
Do you know if he's been having any problems, like a discharge or anything out of the usual?

Telling him isn't going to be easy, no matter how you tell him. The fact that you fear that he'll leave you (shows how mature and wonderful he is) or worse (is he abusive?) doesn't make it easier.

The only way to do it is to do it. There are no helpful tips. You have to sit him down and tell him.

Were you a virgin when you two met? If so, he can't blame it on you, no matter how much he may want to. If he does, remind him of the fact that you were a virgin.

If you weren't a virgin, or if you cheated on him during your relationship, then he may have a valid reason to suspect that you gave him the STD. Either way, who did what to whom, it doesn't matter. You both need to be treated for this disease.

You said your Uncle is all right with this situation. Have him there when you tell your boyfriend. Then tell the boyfriend that you had symptoms (presumably you did), you were checked, you've been treated, he needs to be checked. He's either going to accept the news or not. If he has other sexual partners he needs to know and THEY need to know. If you don't tell him and he spreads this around you are being irresponsible.

You say you are mature. Prove it. Tell him so some other woman/girl doesn't catch this STD.

I don't know anything about the legal system in the UK but you live with an alcoholic mother, were taken from the home by Social Services... and your father didn't step in? And how about your Uncle? He did nothing - but he's there now, reading all of this? And he has no problems with you being sexually active when you are underage AND you have contracted an STD?

Maybe it's time to address all of this with your father. After all, he's a mental health professional and you are his child.

And what is a right divbo? You called me one and I'd like to know what it is. We've all had knocks in life. The rest of us don't run around telling people to **** themselves - which is what you've told me. I can't feel sorry for you. You've brought a lot of these problems on yourself.

My colleague, Altenweg, knows what she's talking about, as do we all. We didn't develop attitude. We moved on to try to help other people.

This boy gave you an STD. He could also be spreading it to others. If he gets mad at you for getting something he gave you it is because he is guilty and wanting to make you feel bad, which looks like it has worked.
He needs to know and be treated and you need to leave him alone. God forbid he gets you pregnant.

OMG save me from know it all teenagers who think they are so mature. You have proven over and over in your responses just how immature you are. Going through a hard life does not necessarily make one mature.

Let me tell you why people have been reacting to you has they have. It's because we care. What we see is a young girl making very bad choices with her life. And we are trying to educate you that you are making these bad choices. You have not, irretrievably, messed up your life. There is still time to get back on the right path but you have to understand what you are doing is the wrong path.

Lets look at some of the ways you are wrong. First, you are having sex at 15. Second, you are doing this with an adult that you have only been dating for a month. And that is why he IS a rapist in the eyes of the law. You are under age. That means you cannot legally consent to sex. Ergo, that makes him a rapist.

You claim he is in love with you but you are afraid to tell him about the STD. If he really was in love with you, it wouldn't matter.

Your reaction to what we have said to you, is another indication of your immaturity. Trying to tell us how we can answer your post is a temper tantrum that is another sign of immaturity. You think you should be treated with respect yet you clearly don't respect yourself. As someone else said, respect needs to be earned and you have done little to earn it.

So what do you need to do? You need to break it off with this guy. He is most likely using you. But even if he's not, your sexual relationship is illegal. If he does love you and is not using you, then he will wait for you. If he doesn't, then you should know now rather than later.

Then you need to go for counseling. You need to understand just how immature you are. You need to understand why you are exhibiting self-destructive behavior, and you are!

The most important thing you need to understand is that you haven't completely screwed up your life. But you need to make changes before you go beyond the point of no return.

Sadly OP admits on the other thread that she knows he's using her - different story here, of course.

Sadly OP admits on the other thread that she knows he's using her - different story here, of course.
If I remember correctly, she said somewhere here (can't find it at the moment) that that was an earlier boyfriend who was using her.

Found it --

this aint even about my boyfriend that advice, its about a different boy. this is my first relationship since