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Don6992
May 18, 2011, 06:42 AM
I need some help understanding my ex girlfriend.

She broke up with me about 2 months ago and I want her back. We didn't talk for about two weeks after she left. We had lived together for about 10 months and it was getting volatile towards the end. She had told me she was leaving me a few months before but she never took any action to leave so I just figured she had changed her mind. I problaby should have talked to her about it...

We have been communicating with each other, we talk a couple of times a week and have gone out a few times for dinner. I'm a professional musician and she has come to some of my gigs. I'm always the one who initiates contact and she has called me a few times to ask about small things.

What I don't understand is that every time we get together she fixes my hair, adjusts my clothes, hand feeds me at dinner and always looks great and "made up". She never did that when we were together. She comes by my house to borrow things and takes forever to return them. I have to keep calling her for her to return them. She asks me advice on what she should do about certain things like school or adopting a pet or opening a bank account.

My confusion in this is that I feel like she would like to have a relationship with me again and is showing interest in me and I would like to have a relationship with her. I don't know whether to pursue her or not. I'm not sure whether she is just using me or is still interested in me. I've been trying to give her space and just see if she takes any steps towards a reconciliation.

She is 26 and I am 35 years old. Does anyone have any advice for me? I'm getting really tired of dealing with this and thinking about how to deal with it.

amicon
May 18, 2011, 07:38 AM
My confusion here is that the two of you don't seem to communicate-and you're asking us to secondguess her actions and feelings.

Talk to her-only she can tell you how she feels and what she wants-and only you can know what you want, so have a think about what you'd like to happen.

When people don't communicate all sorts of misunderstandings happen.

Don6992
May 18, 2011, 07:53 AM
My confusion here is that the two of you don't seem to communicate-and you're asking us to secondguess her actions and feelings.

Talk to her-only she can tell you how she feels and what she wants-and only you can know what you want, so have a think about what you'd like to happen.

When people don't communicate all sorts of misunderstandings happen.

Thank you very much for your insight. There has always been miscommunication between us. It's very difficult to deal with but you are right. I need to talk to her and ask what her intentions are.

Thanks again.

amicon
May 18, 2011, 07:57 AM
Go for it-ask her and see how it goes.

Best of luck.

talaniman
May 18, 2011, 10:07 AM
You are probably better friends, than lovers so, she is enjoying you for what it is. Its you who want more still. Its you still spending time and emotions on her. Its you who are pursuing her. She is just enjoying it. If you cannot talk, and resolve this between you, leave her alone, and explore other options. Or don't spend ALL your time on her.

mmresd
May 18, 2011, 12:55 PM
Miscommunication ends relationships. Also, why don't you ask her what's up instead of wondering why she is doing this and why she is doing that? She might want something with you, just as likely though, she might be keeping you as the back up, and by your confusion I would say that she is doing a very good job. Talk to her!

Good Luck,
Javi

kaka67
May 18, 2011, 01:29 PM
Why is she hand feeding you? Don't your arms work?

That's just weird...

Don6992
May 18, 2011, 07:03 PM
You are probably better friends, than lovers so, she is enjoying you for what it is. Its you who want more still. its you still spending time and emotions on her. Its you who are pursuing her. She is just enjoying it. If you cannot talk, and resolve this between you, leave her alone, and explore other options. Or don't spend ALL your time on her.

Thank you for the reply. This really helps a lot, I have received plenty of good insight from many. I think I should just leave the whole thing in the past and move on.

Thanks again.