My 35 year old daughter and I have been estranged for three years (basic personality differences I think). She has a 13 year old daughter that I have been extremely close to since birth (I even cut the babies umbelical chord at birth). When daughter got a divorce, my granddaughter came to live with me for a while and she was a huge part of my life. After the estrangement, my daughter refused to let me see my granddaughter. A few months ago, I got a call from my granddaughters bio-dad saying my granddaughter wanted to see me during her visits with him. I was thrilled and we arranged to see each other once a month for lunch (behind my daughters back). I picked her up from her bio-dads house and dropped her back off there. My daughter finally caught wind that I was seeing granddaughter against daughters wishes and she exploded and sent me a letter saying she hated me and never wanted to see me again.

I know I should not have gone behind my daughters back to see my granddaughter, but after not being able to see her for three years, I would have made a deal with the devil himself to get the chance to tell my granddaughter that I still love her and want to be a part of her life. Am I totally in the wrong here? I tried writing a letter to my granddaughter, but it was sent back unopened.

Daughter is now making granddaughters life miserable (guilt) because she has been coming to see me once a month. I don't know what to do. I reassured granddaughter that the last thing I wanted was to make her uncomfortable or cause trouble between her and her mother, so I think we are going to stop the visits for now, but my daughter is just livid and is now convinced I am evil. I apologized but she doesn't want to hear it. We don't have any other family that can talk to her, any suggestions?

After the estrangement, my daughter refused to let me see my granddaughter.
Why did she refuse? What had happened? Is there more you need to add to this to help us understand your daughter's unhappiness with you?

She is furious because she said I undermined her authority as a mother when I agreed to secretly visit with my granddaughter. As for why she was originally angry with me, she said I was selfish and demanding.

Your story sounds very familiar to this one.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/parenting/adult-daughter-hates-me-575317.html

My spidey senses are tingling. Are you both the same person with different usernames?

Your story sounds very familiar to this one.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/parenting/adult-daughter-hates-me-575317.html

My spidey senses are tingling. Are you both the same person with different usernames?


So now there are 3 versions of the story - this thread should be combined with the other two.

No, no connection.

Very interesting, but no connection.

Care to explain why you are posting from the SAME computer then?

A few similarities, but no connection to that family.

This is my neighbors computer, Jeeesh you guys, she told me about your web site and suggested I get your comments. I'm not so sure now.

Funny how you BOTH have extremely similar issues.
Come on Alaska ISN'T all that big now is it, so what are the real chances of this??

I'm shocked at how unfriendly this web site is. Similar traumatic situations bring people together. I can see that there is no help here and yes, Alaska IS all that big (3 X the size of California). I am totally shocked at your attitude.

Not to mention you SHOULD NOT have given my home state out for privacy reasons. UNHEARD OF!!

I'm shocked at how unfriendly this web site is. Similar traumatic situations bring people together. I can see that there is no help here and yes, Alaska IS all that big (3 X the size of California). I am totally shocked at your attitude.

We're not unfriendly at all, but we do not appreciate being taken advantage of and misled.

I was referring to the size of POPULATION, not geography.

I lived in Alaska, I know just how big it is.

We arent't being accusatory at all, we are actually very friendly to people who tell the truth.

The two or three, or four stories presented by these two OPs are strikingly similar. We've been fooled one too many times for amateurs to pull the wool over our eyes with such common similarities.

Fine, forget I asked for help.

My neighbor and I became friends at a support group, our stories ARE very similar in many ways. But forget I asked for help, I don't need more trauma. I'm out of here.

We have been burned several times by people playing games with us with multiple accounts, so our suspicions are aroused when we see essentially the same story from two different accounts on the same computer. You didn't help matters by not telling us the real explanation up front. First you say there is no connection, but when we tell you we know you are using the same computer you tell a different story. In other words you initially lied. And then you get annoyed when we react to being lied to?

This site provides great help, but we don't like people who play games with us.

I'm sorry to hear your story. My Granddaughter is only 3 and lived with me for 6 months. She was the light of my life. My son was separated from her mother. To make a long story short, my son, who is my only child, now 31 yrs old, went back with the mother and now they have made me into the "bad guy". So guess who doesn't get to see, talk to or hear anything about her Granddaughter? Me! All I wanted was to give my little girl a safe, loving home. Now all I can do is pray and faith in God that someday my little girl will come back to me. I'm afraid you're in the same boat. Best wishes and my prayers for you to have a speedy reconciliation.