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dhorn
May 15, 2011, 04:09 PM
Ok everyone I gave birth to a little girl in 1999. Her dad and I was together since high school, we stayed together until 2000 that's when I found out he cheated on me and got another girl pregnant. I left him then. Well I started dating a guy of a different race and my family and her dad didn't like that. But my boyfriend was a good guy. Well her dad took her away from me and we went to court and we have joint custody and he lives with her. He is remarried with 2 other kids and I remarried to the guy they didn't like. Now my mom realize that she made a mistake helping him. I get my daughter who is 11 yrs old now every other wkend and every Wednesday 6-8pm. They moved 2 1/2 hrs away in Nov 2009. I went all that way to get her each wkend and every Wednesday. But the end of Dec 2009 she decided that she didn't want to come back with me anymore. I drove all that way for 4 time and she still didn't want to come back with me and never gave me a reason. I told my lawyer and she told me to call the law the next time I went down there so they can document it. Well Jan 2010 I went there again and of course she didn't want to come so I called the law. Of course they didn't do nothing about it. I got really depressed and had to get on depression meds. I never hurt so much in my life. Well I was going to sign up rights but couldn't do it. Then in Sept (her bday) my grandma, mom, my other daughters (2 and 4 yrs old) and I went down there for the wkend and got a hotel and took her shopping and whatever she wanted to do. That was the last time we seen her until Mar 2011 and she came over to my house for 1 hr to see her sister and she was rude to them, didn't want nothing to really do with them, when she left my 4 yr old kept telling her bye and she never would say bye back or hug anything. Well I had to pick up my 4 yr old off the ground because she was crying so hard. My 11 yr old doesn't want to come back to my house and I pay a lot in child support (which doesn't bother me), my husband (her step dad) carries the insurance on her and I pay all the med bills which has been A lot just this yr. And her dad doesn't even live with her and her step mom. So can someone please tell me what I should do now? Should I try to sign up rights or go back to court and have them see that my husband shouldn't be carrying the insurances and I shouldn't be paying for her med bills because I don't even know why she goes to the dr? I hope someone can help me because Im really confused and hurt.

ScottGem
May 15, 2011, 04:24 PM
Well first, it is unusual for a father to get custody over a mother. So I suspect there was another reason besides an interracial relationship if he was awarded custody. When they moved in 2009 did you agree with the move? Did you try to fight it. Since it affected the visitation schedule, you may have been able to block it.

Her father has to make her available for your visitation, but he doesn't have to physically force her to go with you.

You also state the father no longer lives with them and her stepmom now cares for her? When did you learn about this? Since the stepmom has no legal standing as soon as the father moved out, you should have been in court petitioning for primary custody.

What bothers me about your post is that your questions relate to saving money, not trying to find out why your daughter is against you.

I can tell you its unlikely a court will allow you to relinquish rights unless the step mom wants to adopt and if she is split from the father that may not be likely.

I think what you need to do is find out why your daughter doesn't want to be with you. Then proceed from there.