Me and my boyfriend have been a couple for almost two years now and the first 6months were fantastic :) but as time has gone on I've realised we have very little in common ! We love each other very much but have started to argue a lot . I must admit it is mainly my fault because of my insecurities in the relationship. In my warped mind every time he goes out I think he is looking for someone better or to cheat on me ? I actually don't think he has though.

We knew each other and hung around as teenagers and he was a very popular person with girls were I was not with boys, I was not very pretty an was over weight but have changed a lot since then an then we lost contact for quite a few years ( I think I still see him as if he is this person who was well out of me league ) I really don't know?

Am always feeling unloved by him but he's always telling me he does and buying me flowers but he used to love spending time with me a lot more than he does now . I no we need our space but I feel as though its always me asking to spend time with him and not the other way round .

I have a child from a previous relationship and he is so fantastic with him ( I couldn't ask for more from him were my son is concerned

He has now lost his sex drive because of all the pressure I'm putting on us and work pressure but I just want us to be the way we used to be ( happy and just enjoying each other) which is making my insecurities even worse? I really don't know what to do ? I no I'm making him so unhappy whit the way I am and really want to change but its so hard . He says I'm beautiful an he loves me more than anything and I do believe him but because I don't see myself in that way its hard to see what he sees . I've been a bulimic for quite a few years now so could this be the reason I feel so unattractive in myself and not worthy of a boyfriend who takes so much flack of me and who I feel could do better ?

I actually feel sorry for my boyfriend because he has so much to put up with and I really don't want to lose him

You need to address your insecurities - perhaps with a therapist or other trained person.

I see him reassuring and reassuring you and at some point that's going to get old.

Relationships evolve. That first excitement stays in one form or another but that initial rush is replaced by other, deeper feelings. Are you asking for something else?

I do feel as though I'm over needy were he is concerned and I do no that things do change in a relationship but it feels like one issue is resolved then another comes about and it is mainly my fault and I feel as though I'm pushing him away but I really don't want to .

He knows about my problem an I no he doesn't like it but when I have an issue about things in the relationship he doesn't listen when I want to talk about it and try to resolve it ! He insists I have yet another problem with him and accuses me of calling him the worse boyfriend in the world ( which he is far from ) I no all the issues are with me and its me causing the arguments but now he's lost his sex drive its making me feel worse about myself which results in me being to needy with him and wanting reasurence all the time

This could very well be one of those situations where the more you push the more pressure he feels and the more unhappy he is.

You need to fix you before you can "fix" the relationship.

Can you just contentrate on backing off - maybe just a day at a time?

I hope so . I do try to back of but my need to try and make him understand how I'm feeling overshadows that

I do no its me that has to change but its so hard and because we have been living together for the past 5 months its hard to get our own space .

I no what I have to do an that's to take the pressure off us and to stop being so needy and to no that he DOES actually love me as much as he says but its so hard when my insecurities over shadow it

The whole situation is so annoying an frustrating and his lack of sex drive is not helping .

Thank you for answering my question an giving me some advice on the matter very much appreciated :)

What do you do for yourself? Do you exercise in a healthy way on a regular basis? Do you go out and spend time with friends or family? Do you have some activity that you participate in on your own?

Maybe think of ways you can find other activities or people to fulfill some of you needs. It may help him to feel less overwhelmed by it and you feeling as though you need to keep on him to try and get his attention to fulfill your needs.

When you do something's for yourself, to help yourself be a better person, both inside and out, you may start to increase your sense of self-esteem and self-worth.

Do you have a good friend that you can talk to about your feelings? As JudyKayTee suggested, a counselor may be very helpful. You need to talk things out, they are there to listen. They would also be able to offer some suggestions and strategies to try without having an emotional investment.

Try not to focus on the lack of sex, but focus more on just being close to him. Just your touching can provide some of the intimacy you desire. Offer him a back rub or massage. Cuddle a bit, or just rub his neck, on the couch while you watch TV. This is without expectations of it leading to sex.

As you focus on taking care of, and doing things for you, and take some of the focus off getting him to talk things out, along with not having sex, you may find that your concerns ease, his feelings of pressure ease, he starts to become more attentive instead of pulling back, and your need for reassurance decreases.

Facts & Myths (http://www.bulimiahope.com/bulimic/about-bulimia/facts-myths/)

Conquer your personal demons and maybe you will conquer your other issues as well.

You do not feel unattractive because you are bulimic. You feel unattractive, and it causes you to be bulimic. I don't think there is anything wrong with your boyfriend. I really think that you are the problem, you are wrapped in your head the unattractive trait and your insecurities are going to cost you this relationship, you need to learn how to control them. What I would recommend doing is letting this guy go as much as it hurts you and getting professional help with your eating disorder, you need to patch yourself up and be happy on your own before you you try to be happy with someone else. If not, you will only bring them down with you, as you are doing now. Stop torturing the guy and let him be with someone who believes higher in herself, you need to improve your habits and yourself esteem, when you do that, look into getting into a relationship then.

Good Luck,
Javi