So I've been seeing this guy for 5 months now. Things started great, he would contact me every day and we would see each other every few days. We admitted feelings for each other, but he also told me he hasn't had a girlfriend in 4 years and the last girl broke his heart. He told me he in insecure with himself and wants to change. After 2 months, he told me he saw a future with me. He then stopped contacting me. I was hurt and confused but didn't chase after him. 2 months later, he started talking to me again. He said he got really scared and didn't know how to handle it and that he still liked me and even drove by my house a few times because he missed me so much. He has told me that he likes it when a girl will tell him where they stand and everything but I'm used to men pursuing me for a relationship. I have also had bad relationships and I have had a very hard time opening up my feelings to him and have yet to tell him how much I really do want this to work, but I'm worried about scaring him away. The last time we saw each other he told me he wants to date me. He told me he has a lock around his heart and it needs to get cracked open, and now once again he hasn't been talking to me first, I have been initiating contact. Does he want me to take the lead and chase him? Or is it hopeless expecting that this could actually lead to a relationship? Please don't give me the "he's using you for sex" we haven't done anything more than kissing. Thank you

If you have to chase a guy, in my opinion you don't need him. His on again off again communication is a bit odd. How old is he?
I would leave him alone. If he is really interested in you he will make it known, but I would tell him the on again off again stuff gets old, so he needs to be sure what he wants if he contacts you again.

It sounds as though both of you are holding back in fear of what might happen. Your passed relationships very well might keep you from ever getting to experience what this one could be like.

One of you has to take that leap and jump in. Yes, it is a risk, but you won't know if this could lead somewhere if you both are standing on the edge waiting for the other.

Maybe set a time where you can talk openly. Tell him where you stand. Preface it with acknowledging that you both have been hurt and it is understandable that you both are a bit apprehensive. Agree to take it very slowly but that it can't be at a standstill or go backwards. As happens when he stops all communication.

Decide to just have fun... get to know each other... enjoy spending time together... have someone to catch a movie with or go to dinner with. Try not to put expectations on the relationship.

If you both can get over being scared to be hurt, then there is a chance. Otherwise, forget it until you both are ready to take a risk again.

Scared people make lousy partners, and too bad you can't figure how to meet in the middle and have fun getting to know each other. What a shame.

How about some honest, frank communications between you?? Or are you scared to talk about it??