Hi, my story is pretty complicated. I met my boyfriend in high school when I was 14 years, we started going together and for 2 years and 3 months went out, but it was not a sweet story... I remember he breaking me up very often and then coming back together, the last one was determined, but before that one he hurt me the most. We broke up specifically because my father found us together and kissing, by that time I was 16 and felt really ashamed and sorry, my parents told me to break him up and come back together after graduating from H.S and since to have that relationship I had to lie a lot to them I used to feel guilty and then accept that.

We pratically broke up, but we were together though no kisses or more we were together, until I found that he cheated on me with a classmate. That was like a month after what happened with my parents, since I was very hurt from the last breaking up he made with me, and felt guilty for my lies to my parents, I decided to break him up though we actually were not going together. When I told him so, he even said we are not going together... he really hurt me by that time,

I switch school in my 12 grade and knew nothing from him the whole next year of High school, when we graduated in the prom, he met a friend of mine and started going out with her. By that time, he started being after me, well practically all the time, but all the time I ignored him, he sent me flowers, a cd, letters, etc to go back together after graduating, but not that much since he immediately started going out with her. After almost a year he married her, and for the next two years he was with her. By that time, he managed to tell me how he cheated on me, with who he kissed when we were together, and the many times he lied to me. I was very hurt, but at the same time strong.

He had always been my first and only love. Actually, by that time I did not have any boyfriend but 1 that only lasted for a month and actually it was not even serious. Meanwhile he cheated on his wife and had at least 20 girlfriends. He also once told me that he had sex with at least 60 different people, and was with even 7 or 5 girls at the same time, but I do not know what to think. He again made me fall in love with him... By the end of last year his wife cheated on him, and what I know he never loved her, he even made her have an abortion supposely because he had always wanted to come back with me... and he even says that he was married with her for only interest since he was illegal and she was going to give him the papers, and she knows everythingggg but even with all that and after having a baby from another man now, she is still in love with him.

Now I'm going out again with him, he had been really nice, I actually decided to go back with him not thinking it seriously, but I again fell in love. That was like on June of last year. Yet, because with everything that happened between us the things are different, I was actually by that time sweet, nice, inocent and all the nice things I think, but now I had become possessive and I actually do not trust him at all. It is very hard for me to do that, and I told him that since the beginning, but he accepted it anyway. Now is going to be a year of going out, and I noticed that I still do not truly trust him, for instance, an old friend of his came to visit him and the rest of the crewd from high school, and I did not let him got to see HER. The reason of was because, she was one of the girls that gave me pain in the *** in high schoo, she used to like him a lot, and I even think he did too... he also several times lied to me because of her by that time, so this time I do not want him to see her, talk to her or even remember her. I do not want him any closer to her or any of the old mean friends that knew everything and never helped me. I do not let him talk too much with any cute girl, because he flirts too much, he always does, and I hate that from him, and he really does it, because even my friends sometimers notice it too... I deleted the friends that I do not approve (girls) and always call him because I need to be with him, and know what he is doing sometimes. Since I do not drive or own a car, he always does me favors, and a few days before I moved and he helped me to moved,

Because of all of this and since every couple has their problems we used to have some fights and when that happened sometimes I exploded because he left me bymyself, in specific that was two times, and the other three or four was because he made me jelous, I hit him, but since he is a man I practically hit the air because he hold my arms, I do not like to say that since I'm not proud of that, but it is just that my emotions in those moments were impossible to control, they overtook me, and all of the times he confronted me, did not ran away since if he would do that I would get even worst... till finally calming down... but the last time, he got crazy, and I was not even like that, it was because of a girl, I was jelaus because of the same girl that was like 3 weeks ago, and he got mad and ignored me, I got dispared and tried to hit me, and he hit me back, he punched me in my chest, that happened while driving. He stopped in the middle of the road and started yelling at me. He got furious and took me to my house, it was on the very night so nobody was out, but when arriving to my house he stopped very fast so that I smashed to the window , my fingers hold me, but they twisted though nothing serious happened I have all my body OK, but my wrisk and finger still hurts, now my chest hurts, and I do not understand why since it was like 3 weeks ago, why would it hurt now...

I had not said that to anyone since I believe for some part that that is my fault. In that moment, he bull**** me and tried to take me off his car, but I would hold strong to it, my neighbor went out and stared at us and that was when he stopped, he left me at my house, and the next day he asked me to forgive him... I was really hurt, and did not know what to do and even now sometimes I feel uncertain, but I stayed with him. I moved he helped me and everything seemed normal, but lately I feel him weird, he irritates very often, he does not want me to tell him anything, and even if he says he loves me I feel he is getting bored.

Lately, we haven't had sex at all, we do it like 3 to 5 times a week and before, we would do it daily, though there was a time that we also did not had a lot of sex we were fine, and now I don't think everything is fine. For instance, now he preferred to go to his house than be with me, even that he has no job and has all day to do his staff and to be with his family, now I do not know what to think, feel, or do, I feel destroyed, sometimes I think why I came back with him, but when I think on breaking up with him, I start thinking what would I do without him, and I just cannot imagine myself without him again.

Though I think you would say to end it, I hope there could be another way to solve this... please give me positive advices thank you.

You are absolutely right, because the only positive advice I can give you is to leave this fellow behind, and move forward as you build a life without him, and meet a guy who works and can show you what a healthy adult relationship is all about. You obviously don't know, and are stuck on a lying, loser, who cheats and think it's the greatest thing since bubble gum.

Its not! What you have described is not a relationship, but a sick dependence on a fellow you think you love. Just like any gutter junkie that needs a fix, and can do NOTHING positive, even after they get it.

To break this dependence, and be healthy in mind, body, and soul, you must leave him forever, and learn to live on your own, without him, so you can heal properly from his abuse, and have a life that makes you happy.

Then you will attract a healthy happy partner to share that happiness with. Sorry to be harsh, but I think you know this already, but refuse to accept the truth, and do what's right for you.

That's understandable since all junkies feel the same way about their dope. They would rather be miserable, unhappy, and sick, rather than kick the habit, and find happiness.

What will you choose to do? It really is up to you, and YOU, alone.