Frustrated because I can't tell if it's real, mad because I don't know she feels. Upset because we both can't make it right, aggravated because you don't understand and very disappointed because we can't be together.

Oh well, my short story goes like this. Me and my girlfriend had a relationship for about 3years and 9months, spent many hours together, had great sex now and then,it wasn't long ago that I thought of going back to Canada to work for a while. We both decided that we would take our relationship to a long distance relationship. Its was for a reason, I wanted to save up money to buy my own stuff and such and she told me she understood that.

The first 3-4 months we were going all well, like have online chats, text messaging and calling and stuff like that like everything was in place. It was until I got upset and jealous of the guy she was talking to and she was telling me that they were just close friends. I don't know if I made a mistake on being jealous or something, cause almost about changed after that. She randomly tells me she needs her space and she hopes to keep in touch with me until I come back and stuff and hope she doesn't fall in love with a guy. I just got so confused and snapped, ughh!

Even at this askmehelpdesk, I don't know how to express on what I have to say, asked her why and such, talked on the phone, all the answers she's giving me is she doesn't know, we decided to break-up because we both thought it wouldn't work like it used to be and I don't know if I should regret it, there's a point of the day where I keep backtracking all of the happy memories we've had. On the last phone call we had our talk, and she was apologizing to me that she was so sorry and regrets stuff this and that. I don't know what going on but she left me with so many questions that its so difficult to answer by myself, I just told her I forgive you no matter what, cause God forgives how about us people? I told her that, we both need our time-outs and reflect on what happened and such, I haven't texted her or tried to call her after that.

But on the past few days, 2 of her cousins(both of them I had a close family-tie or something like that) updated on what happening with her. She was currently busy texting with the guy I was first jealous with, I just don't know the whole facts, called each other baby, hanging around until the morning. It just randomly hurt me, I don't know what else to say. Im just so confused, I called her last night and asked about them, she kept denying in the first place, until I told her we went into a relationship that we have to be fair and equal. She later admitted that, they were texting and stuff, all the above earlier were true, but she keeps on telling me that she liked me and I made her a better person. I asked her about what did I miss out on you? She answered back that she just misses me and she told me why she did it cause the guy took care of her when she got drunk after a argument we had and that is where they picked up. Ughh.

I'm just so confused on what's happening, Im a human being I know I should give, but I don't know how? Ill continue some parts that Ive missed, I hope I get answers. I have to head off to work for now.

Sounds like one of the classic-'her feelings have changed' scenarios to me.

What was the plan-for you to move back to where she lives?

Do you,yourself, consider this a break up?

If it isn't yet,sadly,I think that's the way it's heading.

We don't really live that far apart. Its going to be late October of 2011 when I return to the Philippines.
Uhmm, that what confuses me the most, sadly to say I don't know. There's a moment where I consider it as a break up then there's a moment where I don't. I just go so attached to her. Thanks for the quick reply, it means a lot :) I guess Ill try to no communication for a while and to leave her thinking on what she let go of :) Anyway, I believe in God plans for me, if we were meant to be, then we were meant to be :) Oh well, life sucks, you have to go to through heartaches. If the time ever comes that I still have feelings for her, might as go for a second try, isn't bad right ?

You're welcome,and no contact is a wise choice I think.

Yes,sometimes life sucks,but we live and learn.

Take care.

I don't understand where all the confusion is rising from. Things seem pretty simply. You two were together for an "x" amount of time. Then, you went off to another place for whatever reason and left her with a long distance relationship (which are hard to maintain). After that, she decided that it wasn't working for her and you with your jealousy pushed her away and then there was this guy. A guy that was there for her when YOU were causing emotional pain to her and helped her out so she began to be grateful for him. Her feelings then changed from you (who although sounds like an OK boyfriend was very far away), to a guy that was available right then and there and at least for the moment (probably because he is trying to get in her pants) was treating her properly and being a gentleman.

Now I can understand why you are feeling frustrated, mad, and aggravated. Those feelings are normal after a break up and especially if it ended with another guy in the background, it leave a bitter taste in your mouth. However, regardless of why she broke up with you, she has broken up with you. You must respect her decision and let her go. When a female is done with you all there is left to do is let time pass so that you can properly heal (and following no contact is very good for that), learn how to be happy on your own again, and then wait until fully healed from this relationship (which will take a while and that is OK) so that you can look for someone else, or maybe someone else will find you in the future. Thank your ex for the experience which I am sure you loved considering that you are very disoriented about the fact that you have lost her, and then allow her to move on with her life as you do the same.

Good Luck,
Javi

Lack of honest communications are the downfall of most relationship.

Lack of control, for whatever reasons is a cause for impulsive irrational behavior, by one or both of you.

You throw time, and distance in the mix, along with high hopes and inexperience, you have a perfect CONFLICT of interest. LDR's are very difficult to maintain, given your ages, and lack of future goals, as over time young people want to have fun, live, and in person.

Yes her feelings changed because she had options other than you and she needed a person, not an email, not a text, not a phone call. That's understandable since you left to get your stuff together, and she wanted her stuff together too. Your jealousy fit helped nothing, except to push her away, and that's a lesson to remember, losing control is not a solution, calm honest communication is.

Is it to late. Only you and her can answer that, so find out. If it is, bow out gracefully, and go about your business. If its NOT to late to reconnect on a much more honest mature way, then that's great.

But as long as you don't know when this distance thing will end, forget it. I mean, that waiting thing never works, especially when she doesn't know what she is waiting for.

What is she waiting for??