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View Full Version : How to overcome fear and shyness and begin to enjoy socializing with people


Assel
May 10, 2011, 11:45 AM
I was always unhappy at school, all shy and just silently endured all the insults by my clasmates, and then come home digested it all in my head again and again. It was a feeling that these people run me and my life every time they hurt me. I began to think that something is wrong with me, that I'm too weak and always blamed myself in everything. Became angry. This terrible state lasted so long that I didn't want to live anymore. But I understand that I must to live. But I'm tired to absorb all the insults all bad words. I want to overcome my own shyness, perceive world and people correctly and the way they are behave yourselves. Help me ***!!

RickJ
May 10, 2011, 12:09 PM
You need to get out and practice.

I used to have a fear of spiders, so someone talked me into going to a pet store and hold a tarantula.

Presuming that you have some friends, rely on them to help you: Go out with them and interact with other people with those friends that you have. That will help your confidence level so that you can later get out and "socialize" on your own.

Do it! :)

Assel
May 10, 2011, 12:41 PM
You need to get out and practice.

I used to have a fear of spiders, so someone talked me into going to a pet store and hold a tarantula.

Presuming that you have some friends, rely on them to help you: Go out with them and interact with other people with those friends that you have. That will help your confidence level so that you can later get out and "socialize" on your own.

Do it! :)

Thank you for advice, I hope that I'll change in a good way:)

XOXOlove
May 10, 2011, 12:46 PM
I used to be just like you. When I was in elementary school and middle school I was really quiet and a lot of kids used to pick on me so much. The thing is that some kids are just cruel.. not all, but some and if they can easily pick on you without you saying anything, they will keep at it.

You just have to go out there and talk to people even if you are scared. Jump into the fire. It won't eat you alive. Even if some people still say things to you, let it roll off your back and be the bigger person.

A good way to get out of your comfort zone is to join a club, volunteer, go to a church or any activity that involves meeting new people. Experience is the key to getting out of your shell.

Assel
May 10, 2011, 12:59 PM
I used to be just like you. When I was in elementary school and middle school I was really quiet and a lot of kids used to pick on me so much. The thing is that some kids are just cruel.. not all, but some and if they can easily pick on you without you saying anything, they will keep at it.

You just have to go out there and talk to people even if you are scared. Jump into the fire. It won't eat you alive. Even if some people still say things to you, let it roll off your back and be the bigger person.

A good way to get out of your comfort zone is to join a club, volunteer, go to a church or any activity that involves meeting new people. Experience is the key to getting out of your shell.

Thank you so much for your answer, it's very big help to me. But why some people are so cruel, even if you're not doing anything bad for them?

XOXOlove
May 10, 2011, 01:09 PM
Thank you so much for your answer, it's very big help to me. But why some people are so cruel, even if you're not doing anything bad for them?

What I meant was some people that are manipulative might find you easy to attack, especially if you aren't going to say anything back.

SFC_Schwartz
May 10, 2011, 08:52 PM
The best way to get over being shy is to get over being shy. I know you think that this is a simplistic answer, but if you start talking to people, you will start to like talking to people. Some tips I have used:


Learn one joke and tell it well. If you can get people to laugh with you, they will be more comfortable with you.
Learn about one thing you care about. For me it is sports. Specifically NASCAR. I can talk about NASCAR to anybody because I spend a lot of time following it. Talk to people about what you are interested. The person you talk to may not be interested in the exact same thing as you, but at least you have room to find a common ground.
Listen. The best talkers are those that get others to do most of the talking. You can ask questions, you can be part of groups.


Finally, don't worry so much about what others think about you. In a couple of years, you won't know most of these people anymore. I love talking to people at the mall, because most I will never see again.

Assel
May 11, 2011, 11:14 AM
The best way to get over being shy is to get over being shy. I know you think that this is a simplistic answer, but if you start talking to people, you will start to like talking to people. Some tips I have used:


Learn one joke and tell it well. If you can get people to laugh with you, they will be more comfortable with you.
Learn about one thing you care about. For me it is sports. Specifically NASCAR. I can talk about NASCAR to anybody because I spend a lot of time following it. Talk to people about what you are interested. The person you talk to may not be interested in the exact same thing as you, but at least you have room to find a common ground.
Listen. The best talkers are those that get others to do most of the talking. You can ask questions, you can be part of groups.


Finally, don't worry so much about what others think about you. In a couple of years, you won't know most of these people anymore. I love talking to people at the mall, because most I will never see again.

Thank you for your answer:)

mmresd
May 11, 2011, 11:34 AM
Practice is the way to go. Try going to a mall or something alike around you and say hi to EVERYONE that passes in front of you. Do it to maybe 1000-1500 people and you will see that your fear to approach will have gotten better, then you can start focusing on what you should say after saying hello.

Assel
May 11, 2011, 11:41 AM
Practice is the way to go. Try going to a mall or something alike around you and say hi to EVERYONE that passes in front of you. Do it to maybe 1000-1500 people and you will see that your fear to approach will have gotten better, then you can start focusing on what you should say after saying hello.

Thank you

samuelspeak
May 13, 2011, 03:19 AM
Yes as everyone said, practice is the key. Just boost some confidence and go out and start meeting people. Your friends will be very helpful to help you start with. It's not that difficult once you get through the initial phase. Good luck!

Assel
May 13, 2011, 04:46 AM
Yes as everyone said, practice is the key. Just boost some confidence and go out and start meeting people. Your friends will be very helpful to help you start with. It's not that difficult once you get through the initial phase. Good luck!

Thank you:)