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View Full Version : I've been broken up with my ex for 2 years now I want him back help?


MissBroken
May 9, 2011, 09:00 PM
Ive been broken up with my ex for 2 years now. We have a child together and since the break up I've had one relationship which lasted for 6 months. I've now been single for a year or more and I want my child's father back. I was young ony 17 with a new born I was confused and now I realise I love him and only him and want a happy family.. My child's father has been in and ut of contact with us since the break up. Ive been trying to tell him I miss him and can't stop thinking about him but he simly ignores it please help I'm at breaking point

Enigma1999
May 9, 2011, 09:49 PM
Okay... From one divorced woman to another, if he ignores you then odds are, he DOESN'T want you back.

Why did you two break up in the first place?

I realize that things happen and that sometimes people tend to throw in the towel too quickly without thinking things through, however, once all said and done, if one person is willing and the other is not... well then, it's a dead issue.

NOW, if he was willing, then perhaps you might have a chance. You said it yourself, "he ignores" so there is your answer. You can't make someone want you that clearly doesn't.

I am sorry. Sorry that you have that feeling.

I would just move on and focus on your child.

Do yourself a favor and don't push for this to happen. It will only drive him away all together.

Good luck.

Alty
May 9, 2011, 09:55 PM
I agree with Enigma.

The fact that he's ignoring your advances says it all.

Relationships are a two way street. Both parties have to be willing to make it work. I know you want him back, but you can't force him to feel the same way, and it's obvious that for him, the relationship is over.

Don't waste any more time hoping for something that isn't going to happen. Accept that it's over and get on with your life, and raising your child.

MissBroken
May 10, 2011, 03:33 PM
Thanks guys not exactly the answers I was looking for :(
Reason we broke up was because I was young and confused I was confused on what I wanted in life and it was hard for Us to just be Us as we were living with my parents and little sister with bub.
I've asked him why he ignores me and he just said it was too personal.
I think its scared of me hurting him again which I'm so so sorry for as after the break up he fell into a deep depression.
Should I leave things now with him knowing how I feel, do you think he'll come around in his own time if he's interested?

Alty
May 10, 2011, 04:04 PM
I think it's best to leave things, give him some time. If he is just afraid of being hurt again, then he may come around once he realizes that you won't do that to him again.

But, once bitten, twice shy. You two have a child together, so you'll always be connected in that way. But that doesn't mean you'll be together.

I wouldn't plan your life around the dream of him coming back. You can't live like that because there's a good chance that it will never happen.

Yes, you regret the past, and you wish you two had a future, but you still need to live your life, find happiness, find someone you love. It just might no be him.

Sorry that we can't give you the answer you want. I won't lie to you, it's just not in my nature. I know the truth may hurt, but in the long run I think you'll be better off for having heard the truth.

Enigma1999
May 10, 2011, 05:29 PM
Leave it alone.

Enigma1999
May 10, 2011, 05:30 PM
C'mon! Really! Alty, I have been trying to give you a green for like a day now, and it won't let me!

That's it! Who's in charge? ;)

Alty
May 10, 2011, 05:36 PM
C'mon! Really!? Alty, I have been trying to give you a green for like a day now, and it won't let me!

That's it! Who's in charge?? ;)

LOL! The powers that be seem to be against me getting greenies. Tis okay. I'm not that fond of the color green anyway. ;)

MissBroken
May 10, 2011, 08:20 PM
Thanks Heaps. Im very stuck atm with a lot of things in life and this is only a small one.. I have trouble letting anyone else in (male) as I feel like I'm relpacing him as a father and every time I try all I can think of his him and I'm afraid of hurting others because of my own stupid past mistakes. How do I just forget him when he's always going to be around?

Enigma1999
May 10, 2011, 09:15 PM
Thanks Heaps. Im very stuck atm with alot of things in life and this is only a small one.. I have trouble letting anyone else in (male) as i feel like im relpacing him as a father and everytime i try all i can think of his him and im afraid of hurting others because of my own stupid past mistakes. How do i just forget him when he's always going to be around?

Honestly... Time.

I don't think that it would be a good idea to start any new relationships considering you still have feelings for your ex. It wouldn't befair to him (the new guy).

I think you may have too much time to think about him. Perhaps focusing on YOU may be a good thing to do right now.

When I first got divorced, I got involved with other things. I started cooking more, which now I really enjoy AND I can make a mean Lasagna. I focused on my children, which are everything to me. I read many books. Jackie Collins rocks, AND it's a great substitute for sex! OKAY... so not really, but hey, what the heck. ;) I went to seminars. I started painting more (FYI use acrylics, the outcome is better) I went to the Library more. I went on play dates with other girlfriends and the kids. (going to the mall, they have a nice play area). Hmmmm Lets see what else... Oh yeah, I went to the gym a lot (don't pay a lot for a membership, it's a waste). Just go running instead.

Just focus on YOU. You need it. You deserve it. Focus on your kid.

Everything happens for a reason... TRUST me! I'm proof of that. This too shall pass. The last thing you want to do is hurt yourself (emotionaly) that is, or any new prospect.

Don't pressure for anything. Don't stress. Things will get better.

Good Luck.

MissBroken
May 11, 2011, 01:44 AM
Thank you so much for your help and advice it really means a lot. I guess I do have a lot of time on my hands 19 with a 3 yr old jobless (but searching very hard) I'm living in a town where I know no one but my parents and siblings as I moved for my parents help and support with bub. Have no license (am on my way though..
I guess I just want him to tell me if I still have a place in my heart or not.. Ive asked him if he'll let me know where I stand now and that even get ignored even though I told him ill let things go and just get back to be parents if he was to answer I'm just his child mother nothing else.. H'e my high school crush we dated on and off through high school and all!