Hello! I am in WA state. I have a woman I have been friends with for 5 years, I am 47, she is 89. Her granddaughter has hated me for no reason she (my friend) or I know of, (in fact a few months after I met the grandmother she worriedly told me how her granddaughter was recently diagnosed w/ Crohn's disease and could I research it on my computer so she could know more about it.. As I'd had a neighbor with the disease several years ago, I knew a good diet book to recommend and bought it on-line for the grandmother--with my own $--to give the granddaughter.) I just firmly believe in being a good neighbor. Now after 5 years the granddaughter has escalated her hatred to calling me a ***** on the phone when I was visiting her grandmother's home, spreading unfounded lies about me, saying I am setting her grandmother up to rip her off (somehow in befriending an old woman for the past 5 years I am patiently evilly plotting some final rip off by shoveling her driveway, stopping by to chat with her, babysitting her little dog at my home while she was in the hospital, inviting her to dinner at my home, treating her to ice cream or dinner in restaurants for special occasions, etc. I am just an evil human being.) I suppose the only reason I can give is jealousy. The granddaughter live 20 miles closer to grandma than I do (she lives less than 1 mile away) but yet it is us who come shovel her driveway. The grandmother was upset w/ her calling me, her friend, a ***** at her home, told her so, but I guess that was the wrong move (grandma standing up for me) as now this has escalated so that the grandmother finally called me one day and said she has to sever our friendship because her granddaughter is causing her so much stress. She calls herself a love, not a fighter. I recognize an 89 year old doesn't need the stress, so I told her I love her and will always be there if she needs me, but I will do what she wants. I should mention I have 2 small children, 8 and 11 who considered this woman their adopted grandma only for the love they shared and playing with the little dog and occasional babysitting where--you know 'grandma types!--they could eat candy and potato chips and pop at her house. This loss has been devastating to them emotionally. They certainly can't understand it. A civil lawyer tells me (free consultation)that I have no monetary loss, so nothing to pursue legally. But I wonder if there isn't a criminal angle here. I thought defamation was also a crime. I have nothing really to lose and I want this woman held accountable for what she has done both to my kids and this old woman her grandmother. No one here is wealthy. I have no grandparents of my own for my kids as my parents and in-laws are all passed away. This granddaughter has posted on a social network page that I am 'off my meds' (I take no meds) and other foul reputation-damaging things. Do I have any legal recourse? Where can I find more research on this matter? Please do not answer to say forget it to stop more stress from grandma. I'm past worrying about that now. My priority is my kids who see the injustice and don't understand how we can let this happen. I honesly want to know if I can bring some earthly accountability and how.

Please don't attempt to direct how your questions will be answered. "Please do not answer to say forget it to stop more stress from Grandma. I'm past worrying about that now." It is inappropriate and perhaps you should think more about her and less about yourself.

I do realize this is the second time someone has suddenly turned on you. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-education/how-do-handle-censorship-school-volunteer-opinions-558087.html IF you go forward this could hurt you.

An Attorney familiar with your State Law and this situation has already told you you do not have a case. Believe him/her.

Here is something I wrote - Briefly - Generally in law libel refers to permanent/written statements and slander refers to non-permanent/spoken statements. Defamation (of character) covers both categories.

You must be damaged - and prove damages - in order to recover. The statements (either written or spoken) must be false but presented as though they were true and be beyond offensive, derogatory or insulting. Such statement must rise to a level which actually harms a person's reputation. In general the person making the statement must either know it isn't true or make the statement without attempting to verify if it is true.

The defense to defamation is that the information was not presented as the truth (which covers gossip), that the information was never secret (privileged) and was always public.

I don't know what type of estate, this woman may have, but if it is significant, that could be the source of the granddaughter's ire.

But, the lawyer was correct, you really have no case. You have to prove you have been financially harmed.

What you can do is fight fire with fire. Start your own page talking about how you and your children feel about this woman (NOT putting down the granddaughter) and bemoaning the fact that you have been cut off from her.

Hello! I am in WA state. ...
. A civil lawyer tells me (free consultation)that I have no monetary loss, so nothing to pursue legally. But I wonder if there isn't a criminal angle here. I thought defamation was also a crime. ...

Actually it was in Washington, but it was repealed in 2009.
Chapter 9.58 RCW Dispositions: Libel and slander (http://apps.leg.wa.gov/RCW/dispo.aspx?cite=9.58)

I don't know what type of estate, this woman may have, but if it is significant, that could be the source of the granddaughter's ire.

But, the lawyer was correct, you really have no case. You have to prove you have been financially harmed.

What you can do is fight fire with fire. Start your own page talking about how you and your children feel about this woman (NOT putting down the granddaughter) and bemoaning the fact that you have been cut off from her.


I just caught this, too - OP says woman doesn't have a lot of money.

With respect I don't agree with fighting fire with fire. First - I can't believe adults are behaving in this fashion, posting derogatory things about each other on Facebook. I think stopping to the Granddaughter's level proves nothing and might inflame the situation.

If the purpose is to discredit the Granddaughter I would question who is reading ANYONE's Facebook... and cares.

Unfortunately for everyone the Grandmother (who calls herself a lover, not a fighter) contacted the OP and ended the relationship (or am I reading this incorrect - ?) stating that the relationship was causing her a lot of stress with the Granddaughter.

The Grandmother may or may not be under the Granddaughter's control. I don't know. I see any further action by the OP causing stress to the Grandmother, and I'm not sure that's a good idea.

Maybe OP doesn't have a case against Granddaughter. I would be very careful not to harass in the other direction.