View Full Version : I was raped and I would like to know what I'm getting into before I press charges.
PepsiOnMyDesk
May 4, 2011, 08:43 PM
First of all, this is VERY hard for me to ask and to deal with, but I really need help and don't know what to do.
I was sexually and physically abused for 7 years. I've finally gotten over it and want to send this guy to jail, but its not easy. I'd like to know what kind of questions they'll ask me so I can prep myself. I think I can handle it but I'm terrified of even seeing this guy again and I know I will eventually. I've told my parents, but they want me to make my own decision.
There's also some things you should know. I love my parents but they've done some bad stuff in the past. One has gone to jail for drugs, and the other has done some things I don't think I should mention(but not anything illegal or bad, it just looks bad as a parent). I know if the police search either one of our houses, they'll be in jail. I've also done drugs in the past week(but I've quit)and want to know what I should do about a drug test.Further more, I have evidence that this guy raped me. Its some stain on some material I saved just in case I could use it against him.
Other Questions:
I haven't told the rest of my family, but our relationship is kind of broken because I haven't seen any of them in 10 years and I'm not the same person I used to be. How should I go about telling them?
Is the stain enough to send this guy to jail?
What kind of questions will I be asked, and what if they think I'm lying?
Do I need therapy?
Who do I tell to have this guy arrested?
Please answer, I really don't know what to do, but I want to get back at this guy for what he did, no matter what.
Thank you:)
First of all, how old are you? Our answers will differ depending on your age.
Now, about the questions. I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but if you press charges, and if you were truly raped I think you should, you will have to relive the entire night/s. You will be asked about the relationship between you and this person that you are reporting. You will be asked what happened before, during and after the incident in question.
PepsiOnMyDesk
May 4, 2011, 09:17 PM
I'm 15, turning 16 in August. I've spent almost two years blocking this stuff out of my head, all I remember is what he did to me, but I'm having trouble remembering exactly when these events happened, and I'm assuming that's important..
ScottGem
May 5, 2011, 03:59 AM
Who is this guy and how old is he? Also ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area. If he has been having sex with you for 7 years, then it is rape since you are under the age of consent. This actually makes it easier on you. As long as you can prove he had sex with you then your drug issues and every thing else become unimportant and the prosecutor can keep the normal grilling of a rape victim to a minimum.
So I urge you to go, preferably with a parent, to the police and report this. If you live in a city, the police force will have a special department to deal with crimes like this and know how to make it easier on you.
This stained material may not be enough though. There is something called the chain of evidence that would make it difficult to prove where it came from. But don't let that stop you. The police will know how to gather evidence, but they need your telling them about it to do so.
And please keep us informed.
AK lawyer
May 5, 2011, 07:08 AM
... I know if the police search either one of our houses, they'll be in jail. ...
Then they shouldn't consent to a search. It's not likely that the police will seek a warrant, at least without first asking for consent. Is there reason to suspect that there is any evidence of these rapes in the house?
...
This stained material may not be enough though. There is something called the chain of evidence that would make it difficult to prove where it came from. ...
It came from the perpetrator (I assume), and remained in the OP's possession until she turns it over to the authorities. I don't see the chain of evidence being that difficult to establish.
Fr_Chuck
May 5, 2011, 07:20 AM
What happens can differ so greatly if you live in a small town or a large city,
But I agree that you report it, and get it out in the open and make it public, I believe that since it may also protect and save someone else even if they don't get a conviction.
And you don't know who else may also have been harmed by this person who may come forward if you do also.
Next don't expect him arrested at first, they will listen to your story ( police) they may then turn it over to the DA who will have another investigator come and talk to you.
At that point they may ( or may not ) go talk and question the man. If there was any witness or evidence of it, they may look into it.
If they believe that there is enough evidence to convict ( not that they may not believe you but just believing you does not mean there is evidence to convict) but if they feel they have a case, then it will normally be presented to a grand jury and a warrant issued. Then he is arrested.
But the where, the events of what happened and more will all have to be told, many times to different investigators and latter in court.
ScottGem
May 5, 2011, 08:41 AM
...
This stained material may not be enough though. There is something called the chain of evidence that would make it difficult to prove where it came from. ...
It came from the perpetrator (I assume), and remained in the OP's possession until she turns it over to the authorities. I don't see the chain of evidence being that difficult to establish.
But they will only have the OP's word on how she obtained the sample. That's where the chain breaks down.
PepsiOnMyDesk
May 5, 2011, 07:53 PM
This guy is my sisters dad, I know he's over 40 but I'm not sure exactly how old..
I went to Planned Parenthood to make sure I was okay, and they told me about one of their therapists. The doctor recommended I get counseling asap, So that's what I'm going to do.I think it would be best if me and my sister both got counseling, she's still hoping that he'll come back one day or something, I also want to make sure she didn't get hurt. I'm starting in a week, and we'll go from there. I just have to make sure everyone knows, and everyone's prepared(theres still some people I haven't told)
Hopefully everything will go smoothly, I'll update in a week or so.
And thanks to everyone that answered, I didn't think people would respond this quickly:)
PepsiOnMyDesk
May 5, 2011, 07:54 PM
Also, all of us live in Chicago, but this happened in Indiana..
ScottGem
May 6, 2011, 03:14 AM
Ok, this man is a pedophile and an abuser. He is guilty of statutory rape under Indiana laws. You NEED to go to the police immediately on this. You need to stop him from abusing someone else.
This will not be as bad on you as it might be for other victims of rape. You were not and are not responsible for what he did to you. All you have to do is tell your story. Definitely seek counseling! But I expect the counselor will advise you to go to the police, and, in fact, may be required to report it.
PepsiOnMyDesk
Jul 3, 2011, 05:08 PM
Well, it's been a while, but everything's going great. The police are tracking this guy down, I'm going in for a physical, and probably going to therapy. They said they believe me but they can't send him to jail unless he admits it, but that also say he's a schizophrenic so he's more likely to admit it. I also have evidence, but it will take 5 months to process it...
Thanks guys:)
Wondergirl
Jul 3, 2011, 05:11 PM
I also have evidence, but it will take 5 months to process it...
Thanks guys:)
Thank YOU for reporting back. We rarely hear more of the story. Please keep us informed about this case.