My husband and I have been married for 5 years. We recently went through a difficult time in our relationship and he ended up having an affair. He and I have decided to stay together, we love each other very much and have 2 beautiful daughters together. The only thing wrong now is that the girl he had an affair with is pregnant. We are trying to figure out what to do with this situation. I think it would be for the best for him to waive his rights to paternity so this can be out of our lives, but I don't know what is involved in that. He also may not be willing to. This would probably be the best for everyone involved. What is involved with him giving up rights to the child and how do I convince him it is for the best?

Giving up his rights doesn't mean he won't ever have to deal with the child (even if that is what he chooses).

He will STILL have to pay child support (how's that for a monthly reminder?).

All waiving his parental rights does is make it so that he can make NO decisions affecting the life of that child. It doesn't mean that he will no longer have any obligations (ESPECIALLY child support).

I suggest that you, your husband, and this girl sit down together and figure out how you will handle this for the rest of your lives, since you're going to be connected as long as that child exists.

You need to be informed as to what exactly you are asking your husband to do here and what exactly it will mean if he follows through with terminating his parental rights. It would be a shame for him to create that child and then walk away like nothing happened. But, that is what YOU want, isn't it?


FAMILY LAW (http://www.asbar.org/Digest/famly_dig.htm)

Child Welfare Handbook - Chapter 22 - Termination of Parental Rights (http://jec.unm.edu/resources/benchbooks/child_law/ch_22.htm)

Do both parties have to be in agreement in order for ... (http://www.faqfarm.com/Q/Do_both_parties_have_to_be_in_agreement_in_order_f or_one_to_relinquish_parental_rights)

Can I relinquish my parental rights? (http://www.nolo.com/article.cfm/ObjectID/6AA9505B-828E-490B-9BA1DC1046A7CAF4/catID/50577D19-965B-4301-B98AE541654F9EAB/118/246/169/QNA/)

As noted, he does not have to "give" up anything, no one can force him to visit and no one can force him to see the child.

And the child when older can decide to find him anyway.

And honestly I would hate to think that anyone would ask a man to not do his responsibility of being a father, not a good example for your own children, have sex and not live up with the result of it.

I would require a DNA test to make sure the child is his,

And of course even if he gives up all of his visitation and custody rights, he will always have his obligation to pay child support unless the mother latter gets married and a step parent wants to adopt