Editor Note - This post has been edited and merged with other posts


I have been bullied all my life and walked all over and most people seem to ignore me no matter what I say or do I just got married a year in July and his mom and step dad bought a house for me and him and his step brother to live in we are on the bottom and he is on the top.

My husbands step brother acts like everything is his the back yard the front yard even if we did buy something to add to the yard there would be no room to put it cause his stuff is every where. And my husbands step dad acts like no matter what we do it's wrong.

I don't know what exactly I am asking I need someone to talk to I am very depressed all the time and don't know how to talk to anyone I am afraid to tell someone who has upset me how I feel without blowing up at them I know everyone has a hard life but I feel like I can't handle it and all I want to do is cry like there is no way out for the first time in my life I get to be something to someone and I have to share I don't know how if anyone understands please help.

How can I when I am so filled with doubt obtain a goal for myself when I feel like I am have no responsibility I know I have to but why I am a married 22 year old woman who has voulenteered most of her life barely worked a minimum wage paying job has no friends no education to fall back on. I feel cheated and unresolved and stuck but with no place to go. And I've felt like this for as long as I can remember and only been able to describe it for a short time I feel like I am bitterly disapointed in myself I have no oppurtunitties or skills that matter what's wrong?

I am female 22 years of age. September, 3, 1988. I am married,(July,17,2010) almost a year, have had, and still do, have moderate anxiety, about myself and about everyday things (have been diagnosed with General anxiety disorder and ADD I am or do have a list of comorbidities ) I feel I analyze everything I am very jealous about things that aren't ordinary.

I smoke marijuana everyday, from the time I was twelve till now May,8,2011. 12:20 AM in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada. I don't have friends, rather, I had friends. Have, maybe, had, one best one, but I'm in doubt. I've always felt this way before smoking marijuana. I am not sure whether it is aiding my mental status at present time, but however I am in a new chapter in my life and am willing to quit at all costs.

I have no support. Besides my husband and he also has a list of comorbidities, he has "Klinefelter syndrome", I have a condition myself "cold urticaria".

Like everyone else, I am sure of, I go through everyday struggles and so does my husband he takes care of me financially and unconditionally and I of him at home where it counts for him and for myself. I don't work my anxieties are overwhelming for me, I have worked in a busy kitchen as a dishwasher, as a volunteer doing various jobs, physical laborer. I don't party, I stay at home with my three cats and do nothing, when I am somewhere and with someone ill shake and freeze I am a nervous wreck.

When I leave my house by myself or with my husband, I don't feel appreciated by my family when I am with them I do things for them they won't do for themselves. I know my problems seem easily mastered, but by everyone that's not me. I don't see a way around myself or a way to let myself out I am afraid all the time and for no reason I am nervous and shaky doubtful and lonely but I could have the world if I wanted why can't I make myself do, do something. Why don't I want to?

It's really hard to make decisions and especially be around my husbands step father he bought the house we live in and we live in the basement suite under his step brother. We use to live with my aunt she abused my little cousin and although she had no power over me I had no power over myself do do anything about it. I tried to intervene but I was quickly tossed to the side in conversation.

My family has been through trauma and tragedy and even more so has my husbands family. I've seen ups and downs of life maybe no more than the next person or less. I know this, yet I'm stuck I am inescapable I cry all the time for nothing about things that don't matter to anyone, I don't have opportunities I don't have goals I realize I have to give those things to myself but how when I can't care.

I love my husband but I think I am hurting him by doing nothing he's always there even if he doesn't understand and even if he isn't the nicest person about how he feels, he the only thing I got and I want to make someone proud of me.

Help, be soft with me. Tell me what I need to hear, what's honest and modest to oblige my human condition

Certainly you have learned skills while volunteering and working at that job. What volunteering have you done? What is that job?

You have a lot going for you, but building yourself confidence is what must happen first. And you're so young!

I'm here to help. Let's get busy.

I don't work Ive volunteered when I was younger for various labor jobs

1) name the volunteering work you did
2) name the paid work you have done -- "barely worked a minumum wage paying job"

I banded trees for money I have washed dishes for money and I have cleaned random buildings for money and I have volunteered as a cashier at relatives clothes store and fixed clothes but I wasn't good at any of it

i banded trees for money i have washed dishes for money and i have cleaned random buildings for money and i have volunteered as a cashier at relatives clothes store and fixed clothes but i wasn't good at any of it
Who said you weren't good at any of it?

So

1. go get more education, go to a trade school or college

2. Lean a trade or skill

3. get any job, jobs are harder to get now, and there is nothing to be ashamed of, working for MIN wage, in fact be proud you even get a job.

Also, you learned skills while cleaning and washing dishes and banding trees. Those are important jobs.

I have tried to go to school I went to finish my grade 11 and 12 at a pre trades school after I graduate by their standards I can start learning anything they offer for free I went for 7 months I started to get depressed and little things started bothering me an old bully from elementary school started to mess with my head saying things to me to purposely tell me he didn't people forgot my name I didn't understand half of what anyone was saying I have general anxiety disorder I don't know exactly what it means but I am afraid of everything conversation with a stranger face to face answering a door telling someone they have hurt my feelings and I have triggers and they happen more and more and my poor husband tries his hardest to help me I phone him at work and he still does his job while I cry about the same old crap every day every year

It's time to find a good counselor.

First, you have to get yourself together.

Ive been there too and taken the pills they have prescribed me waited while they finished their phone calls and told me they could take me as a patient cause they are leaving I don't know what to do with myself I am trying now again to find a family doctor my very own doctor I can go to but it'd hard to even pick up the phone and talk to someone my sister is on lithium her doctors think she is bipolar and Ive been tested and I don't but she has a job and is married and has a kid she can control her life the way she needs to for the time being I can't the only thing I am good at is being at home

What was the name of the meds?

What happened with counseling and pills?

Okay, you need to get off the pity pot and stop wallowing in self pity. You are what you make yourself. If the people you volunteered for are telling you that you are no good... prove them wrong.

In life you can't depend on anyone but yourself. No one can make you work harder or do better than you alone can.

You have choices in life. No one is going to make those choices for you. You have to do it yourself. You, and you alone, are responsible for your choices as well as the consequences to your actions.

So, either you want to better yourself or you don't. Life is what YOU make it.

I'm here to listen to all you have to say, if you feel like you want to add something more later on - feel free to do so.


First off, congratulations on your marriage - I hope it was a good one?

When your husbond's step-brother feels like he owns the place, doesent your hubby say something or does he just keep quiet?

Don't mind the step-dad he's just looking after his own son more than his wife's son, which isent the ideal situation - but hey, you got to work with what you got. When the step-dad act's like everything is wrong, doesent his mother say anything?

And finally what do the 3 of you do for a living?

Sometimes but my husband replies to his step dad like he did when he was living with them he never tells them that we are trying our hardest to be the best married couple that we see for ourselves I don't think they see it and my husbands mom just takes it like a grain of salt like it will blow over his step brother is a welder and makes a lot of money but my husband works as a supervisor at a gas station slash cab stand and I don't work I find that everyday hustle and bustle is overwhelming for me and my anxieties

I have "A.D.D." probably "O C.D." I know for sure I have "general anxiety disorder" and "depression" never been great at school never was interested in learning but I think my time is now. Being anti social and avoiding everything in life is tiresome, I am always finding questions and searching for answers to questions that never have answers I always find problems with people. My one and only best friend is my husband and it feels like he doesn't understand, he suffers from "A.D.H.D" and sometimes it feels like we dance on egg shells with each other. Been like this since I can remember and I am only twenty two years old I don't understand why I feel the way I do I feel like I have more problems than I can handle but someone could live my life better than me. Things don't add up for me and I get life isn't easy only if I make it but it feels like no matter what I do there is always an accident waiting to happen.

Then it's time for a family meeting, ask your hubby to assist setting it up if you feel it would overwhelm you.

Write down a list of what bothers you, then take it up - so the rest of the family knows how it makes you feel, sometimes people are not aware of the actions - and they just do or say what has alwas been.

Why is it you don't work?

Well thanks for making light of me

I have been on ziban I have been on efefxor lamotragen and another one I can't remember they all made me feel worse and the counseling if I wasn't taking the pills they weren't taking me seriously because they couldn't deal with me like an adult but they couldn't deal with me like a teenager I was between and they treated me like I wasn't worth it

I get life isn't easy only if I make it but it feels like no matter what I do there is always an accident waiting to happen.
I am always nervous and shaky when I know I have been walked on and when I should speak up but it's way harder than it looks.


Originally Posted by ken007nielsen
Then it's time for a family meeting, ask your hubby to assist setting it up if you feel it would overwhelm you.

Write down a list of what bothers you, then take it up - so the rest of the family knows how it makes you feel, sometimes people are not aware of the actions - and they just do or say what has alwas been.

Why is it you don't work?

I can't handle people the things they do the things they say since I was small I didn't even like answering the phone I hated answering the door and I guess my anxieties have traveled with me to my adult years. And my family doesn't care about things like that my older sister went through a rape and she is an alcoholic no one does anything to help her and she complains about things that make the rest of the family want to ignore her when ever I am around my family we all act the same yell and assume or I have to break something up or calm someone down. I am the got to person get me this get me that stop that do this.

I wish I had a friend as caring as you maybe I would feel better and make something of myself, I understand that confronting whatever is making me they way I am will help in the long run but it's how I am being seen as I give myself to whatever I am doing I believe I should give all and be respected no matter what I do no job is small but unfortunately I am surrounded by people who want and only give when they need to not when someone needs it the most

I feel I am stuck in a bitter world with no means of giving up or carrying on

I have tried that would it matter to try again at the same place with a new counselor.

i have tried that would it matter to try again at the same place with a new counselor.?

Try someone with a master's degree, not a PhD or MD. The master's level person will talk more at your level and won't get you on pills right away, if at all. Keep trying out different ones until you get a good fit. You can interview each one by phone, if you're willing.

Let's you and me put together a resume. You need to see on paper how able you are.

Are you taking any form of meds for you condition? It sounds like you have a depression of sorts.

When anything around you seems overwhelming don't you have somebody to turn to, that can offer love an support?

More like if their willing I don't think it works like that here id have to ask and I don't have money so I can afford to pay.

It doesn't ever feel like they listen they talk around me or through me no matter how hard I try and trust me I've tried hard to get someone to listen and if I want to survive life my husband has to work for the both of us so he can't be around all the time none of my siblings wouldn't listen I have no friends. I have taken about 4 different medications and they all made me feel the same droned out like there was nothing to live for.I have always had this image of myself helping to provide for my husband and myself the things we love it just doesn't seem that simple to me.

Your mind is racing much too fast and turning in on itself. Yikes!
You need to get your arse off this downward-spiraling merry-go-round. Soon.

The easiest way out of your ADD-inspired rut is to get involved in a sport of some sort where you run, bike, skate, tennis, soccer, swim, aerobics class, play, or something- anything- that keeps you fairly active for about 1 to 2 hours a day. Then you will be able to settle down without drugs. That probably seems like a lot of time, but start with walking 10+ minutes a day, adding 5 minutes every week, and a yoga class once or twice a week. It will also help you sleep better.

Take a daily multi-vitamin, B vitamins, and some Omega3 capsules. Get your body to settle down and heal. Take advantage of this time you have.

If you have a partner for your activities, whether it be a friend, neighbor, or your husband, you will be more likely to stick with it all. Borrow a neighbors dog for your walks once in awhile, giving them a surprise and a welcome break.

You can find local Special Interest and activity groups on Meetup.com if you need more or new friends.

Since you like hanging out with your cats, read ONE book a week, and soon you will become an interesting conversationalist where your husband will not get bored with you. You may also learn more about psychology, science, art, decorating, sex, animal communication, cooking, travel, history, and whatever else interests you. Is there a Library near you that you could walk to? It would give you a destination goal. Maybe you can volunteer there, too.
Also- NO TV besides shows like Discovery, OWN, History channel, or Dr. Oz. Put a stationary bike or treadmill in front of the TV.

Your past is your past, and you learned what not to do and how to survive.
Now Look down at your two feet, and start there. Next step you take is towards the rest of your life and how you want to live it.

Picture in your head what a perfect day a year from now would be like. Picture what your body would look like, what it would feel like. What activities would you do? Would you be in college, working, or volunteering somewhere? What would your relationship with your husband be like? Supportive and caring? What would you be doing to help him discover and reach his own goals?

If you start with the above 10 minutes a day thing and thinking about that perfect day, everything else will start falling in place. As your body heals, so will your mind.

Are you on any medications for your depression and anxiety? I've dealt with the same issues since I was a teen. I still struggle but take my medications every day, when I have been off meds I go to a very dark place. You need to see a dr. and therapy might help you understand your conditions more and help you understand the reasons behind them. Smoking pot may be making your depression worse, from what I read you're saying you want to quit right? I have a family member who smoked pot for years to self-medicate his anxiety, when he tried to stop without being on any medications for his anxiety he had several VERY bad panic attacks. I think you need to first see a dr. and get on something for your depression and anxiety, if it's a dr. you trust you should be honest about smoking pot and wanting to quit, that will allow them to treat you properly. You need support from the people in your life to make these changes and get healthy. I know you feel alone (aside from your hubby) but talk to him and really think about the people you can go to for support, tell them what you are dealing with and ask them if they are willing to help you through this difficult time. If u truly have no-one besides your hubby then I strongly suggest therapy, a therapist along with your hubby will hopefully be able to give you the support and encouragement you need. It breaks my heart to read your letter because I have been there and when you are so deep and depression you can't see a way out but there is help out there, you just have to be strong and ask for the help you need. This was a big step for you I'm sure, you may find some of the support and encouragement you're needing here but no matter what, you need to see a dr. please, and as soon as you can. I wish you luck and look forward to hearing from u, hopefully starting on your road to recovery.

I think getting off the weed will greatly help other areas of your life, for both you, and your husband. I was reading your other posts, and you are taking mind, and mood altering medications for other conditions, and they just are not to be mixed, nor should you be self medicating with weed.

Please get some guidance, and counseling to help you through the long hard process of getting off the weed, so your other meds can be more effective. Talk to your physician, or counselor for the right referrals.

Marijuana Rehab Canada - Marijuana Addiction Treatment Canada (http://www.addictionenders.com/marijuana_rehab.html)

Marijuana Anonymous World Services (http://marijuana-anonymous.org/)

Life is hard enough without having dope get in the way, and then taking your meds, and going to counseling will get you to a better place where you can deal with the realities of life.