I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years. Things were going well and everything was working our perfectly in the relationship. Over the past few months we had not gotten to see each other very much, I was starting a very high level/time consuming job and she was finishing her last semester of college. We both had a lot going on and we were in different locations. We did not get to see each other enough and when we did, we never had time for just her and I. So 2 weeks ago she told me that the relationship was starting to feel like too much work and that she did not feel the spark. I explained to her that the few visit is and no one on one time was about to be over because she was graduating in a few weeks and my job will be less hectic. She was unsure and said that she thought it was over. We agreed to meet last weekend and it was the first time we had gotten alone time in a few months. The day went great and she did not want me to leave, she wanted to lay down in her car together, kiss, basically everything that couples in love do. I contacted her the next day and she said she was confused and that she did not want to send mixed signals etc. So, this week we talked a few times and we were supposed to talk last night. After our conversation last night she told me she was very confused. She said that she "does not want to be single and live that life but also does not know if she wants a relationship." When she said that I proposed that we just take a full month break and not talk. She agreed but she made it clear that she does not want us to see other people. I agreed and as much as it hurt we decided to take the break. Before we got off the phone she started crying and said that she will miss me, she refused to hang up the phone and she finally made me hang up.

So we are going to talk again in a month and until then we are just going no contact. She said she really hopes she can figure it out and wants thing to come back to normal. Does anyone have any idea as to what is going on in her head?

No one can tell you what's going on in her head.

Sorry guy but, I suggest you see this for what it really is... a breakup!

Couples don't take "breaks" to solve problems.. they figure them out together. This time apart I suggest you stick to NC and just treat this as a breakup.

"the relationship was starting to feel like too much work and that she did not feel the spark"
Doesn't sound good. She starting to be nice.

"she did not want to send mixed signals"
After you pressuring. Again, very nice way of saying, don't get your hopes up.

"She agreed but she made it clear that she does not want us to see other people"
Don't be an idiot. Nice try.

"we are just going no contact"
Well, if that's what you are doing, then know how to do it & why.
Its not how to get her back, BTW.

Honestly, she doesn't want to continue a relationship w/you. She officially an ex.

Should I dare say: She's breaking up w/ you.

NC, yes. No calls, Facebook, texts, emails, meetings, dates. NOTHING for good.

You made an agreement, keep it! Find something else to do, and see if she misses you as much as you think you will miss her.

Doesn't matter what in her head, because she has told you several times she is CONFUSED!! Most people on the edge of stepping out of college into the big new world of true adulthood are. She has more on her mind than just a boyfriend, as she has to figure out how to explore this new world of freedom and independence, and how she fits into it. Many decisions to make, choices to consider.

Reality has her distracted right now, and she may decide she not only needs more time, but wants to explore her world without you.

Hope for the best, plan for the worse. Do your own thing without her.

" Does anyone have any idea as to what is going on in her head?" NO.

However, what I can tell you is that you should enforce the deal that you two have made and to remain at a standby position for the duration of the month because doing the opposite could jeopardize the chances of you two being well with each other again. Also, you need to know that when a female asks for a break, a lot of time they are wanting to break up, and sometimes it is already too late. So wait out the month, hope for the best, but be ready for the worst.

Good luck,
Javi

Threads merged


My girlfriend and I are on a break (2 year relationship) and we have not spoken in about a week. Her college graduation is this weekend (she uninvited me) and I was curious as to what I should do?

Should I break NC and send her flowers to tell her I am proud of her and congrats? Or do I not send anything? Her entire family and friends will be there so I am curious as to what to do.

Any advice is appreciated.

I wouldn't send or do anything since she 'uninvited' you. Stick to No Contact for the remainder of the time you have agreed to be on 'break'. You can always give her something later when there isn't any confusion over what your relationship status is or the meaning behind the gift.

No You be a man and play her game she doesn't want you there don't call or text till she does make it seem like its her fault

No flowers,no contact-and please realise that a break most often means a break up.

Stick to what you agreed too, and leave her alone. Dude, get a life will you? In a month, you will be very glad you did.

The fact that you were uninvited shouldn't confuse you as to what you should do. You got dumped, and can't accept it and made a dumb deal with the one that dumped you in hopes she changes her mind.

Doesn't matter what she wants any more, after you get dumped!! Use this agreement to heal and accept the changes, and get a life that doesn't depend on what she does, thinks, or wants to do.

Your thinking is STUCK, and getting UNSTUCK is the priority. NOT what to do about her!!

Take a break means break up in my book live your life and forget about her.