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View Full Version : My life is awful, help?


BlerhXX
Apr 29, 2011, 12:38 PM
I'm 13 years old, female. I was depressed all through my childhood and in the last two years it's started to come back. I feel like a burden to everyone and I always think about killing myself. Recently everything in my life has gone wrong and I really do not have the energy to carry on. I feel like all my friends hate me and my best friend has recently started to ignore my messages. My two ex-friends both suddenly hate me and leave me abusive messages on IM, and have spread rumours about me to all my other friends. My family are okay but they just don't understand. I'm failing most subjects in school because I'm too exhausted to do any work (I have anaemia), and I just can't concentrate on my coursework. That means I won't be able to get onto a good college course and move out of this awful town. I can't find my cell phone so I'm missing invites to go out with my friends, although I doubt they even want me there. I'm constantly depressed and I'm always shaking with nervousness. I have severe social anxiety yet I'm quite a sociable person, I need a big group of friends around me to feel happy or comfortable. My sister is great and I can talk to her about anything, but she is moving away to university and is really focused on her studies, so I don't want to load all my problems onto her. I always feel depressed but then I think that I have a good family, were quite rich, I have a house to live in and I have some friendships left, so then I feel guilty because I know people have it worse than me, so then I feel even more depressed and I just don't want to live any more. I've been seeing a therapist for almost a year now and she has done nothing but make me feel worse. I have no one to talk to any more. I'm losing all of my friends. My grandmother who I'm really close to has cancer and I have to look after her a lot, And I feel like everyone hates me. The pain I feel everyday isn't worth the rare, tiny amount of happiness I get by living. What do you suggest? ;/

mogrann
Apr 29, 2011, 04:20 PM
You are in therapy so I would suggest you copy this down and show your therapist about your feelings. I think you need to open up to how bad you are feeling to your loved ones as well. They may be able to help you figure things out too
Be honest about what is going on with the people in your life so they can help. If you are feeling suicidal please get someone to take you to the nearest hospital emergency room.
I too suffer from depression and realize what I have said is hard to do but can be done. If you can't talk to your loved ones then maybe write it down and ask them to read it. I have done that before in the past when I was unable to find a way to express my emotions.

Good luck to you
Susan

ramona_
Apr 29, 2011, 04:28 PM
Maybe you should find a different therapists? People often go through two or three before they find a therapist that's right for them; someone they feel comfortable talking to. Never compare your own issues to anyone else's, you go through your own individual pain and so do they, some people can't take pain, some people can take a lot before it breaks them. Perhaps get medication for your anemia and take suitable vitamins. For your suicidal feelings, I suggest you go to your GP and get some help, it's good you're seeing a therapist but you may also need medication. Don't be afraid to go and talk to someone about this; parents, the friends you have left, doctors, another therapist, your current therapist, etc.

I promise you, things will get better even if it seems like it won't now. Good luck.

Wondergirl
Apr 29, 2011, 05:06 PM
I've been seeing a therapist for almost a year now and she has done nothing but make me feel worse.

Part of therapy is feeling worse before you feel better. I'm a therapist, so here's my recommendation to you: Tell your therapist exactly what you've told us here. I tell my clients that, if I say something that doesn't work for them or if the therapy is going down a road they don't like, hold up their hands and yell "Stop!!!" Then, the two of us will talk about it and figure out what to do next.

You are paying your therapist. Your therapist is supposed to be your very best friend in a very special way. Make sure she is doing what she is supposed to do. That is your responsibility as a consumer. (It will help toughen you up!)

Let me know if this doesn't work for you.