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View Full Version : Is It Really Over... Please help.


NonExistent
Apr 29, 2011, 09:43 AM
But I'd like my own, personal advice. Reading other people's situations just isn't cutting it for me.

So here's my story, from square one. (Sorry in advance if I'm long winded)

I Met this girl back in January 2010 through her bestfriends That I went to school with. At the time, I one of her he's friends liked me, but I wasn't interested in any kind of way. Anyway we all hung out together, my group of friends, and them, and eventually one of my friends ended up liking my current ex. She also wasn't interested. So to cut this half of the story short, me and my current ex became interested in each other, our friends felt betrayed & stopped talking to us, we started going out in March 2010 and began smothering the hell out of each other since we had no other friends.

Anyway 6 months into our relationship things changed. One of her old home girls from high school started hitting her up saying she needed to come out with her & have fun... Live life you know? I didn't think anything of it.. In fact I encouraged her to go out with her friend to keep things right with us. Well she did that, & suddenly became cold. When I asked her what the deal was, she said she doesn't know how she feels & she felt we rushed into things. I agreed but did everything I could to keep us together. I failed, and we broke up. I initiated a non verbal no contact rule (I just didn't talk to her at all) for about two days & she contacted me wondering why I stopped talking to her. We got back together & everything started back the same way.. No friends... Seeing each other day in & day out aside from work. A week Our 1 year anniversary (March 2011) her friend popped up again... Wanting to hang out... Go to parties... & all of that other stuff. Of course I said OK, but in the back of my mind I knew what was going to happen. She went cold on me again... & decided to take a break 1 day before Our anniversary. She had the same excuse this time, not knowing how she felt, being bored with each other, etc... Oh & not to mention we began to bump heads a lot since we seen each other every day... but nothing anyone wouldn't expect. Anyway after this break started I initiated ANOTHER non verbal no contact. And she came back the next day saying we can still talk things.. She just needs her space. I talked her into getting back together by admitting some of our flaws in our relationship & offering some ways we could fix them.. I.E. Get our own friends... Etc. & we did that... But I guess in her mind that wasn't enough. Since she's been going out with her friend she's been bumping into old high school people reminiscing I guess, & that coldness came back AGAIN. This time she barely talked to me for like a week... & whenever I tried to talk to her or make plans with her.. She was busy. I pretty much saw the break up coming. Yesterday she finally she hit me with the "we need to talk" via text message. So I called her & said what's up & she ended it with a simple... " we need to be done, no breaks or anything. I'm just not in it anymore". So I simply said okay, & she said okay, we said goodbye & hung up. She changed her Facebook stat to single & I did the same. I apologized to my old friends for being anti social & a **** & went out to dinner with them last night like old times.

Anyway... I really miss her & I want her back. I feel that since we know what messed us up in the first place... Why doesn't she want to work on fixing that? She completely gave up all of a sudden. I've once again initiated the non verbal No Contact & haven't heard from her. She's still my friend on Facebook and twitter but I'm leaving her alone... Hoping she will come back.

My question to everyone here is, do you think there is hope? Or am I just a stubborn fool who can't take a break up.

Also we are turning 21 next month.. & we were planning a trip to Mexico... So I purchased a passport last week, now this happens. ***? Please help. All comments, concerns, and questions are greatly appreciated.

Wondergirl
Apr 29, 2011, 09:47 AM
Yes, it's really over.

NonExistent
Apr 29, 2011, 10:12 AM
Ouch. My heart just sunk.

Wondergirl
Apr 29, 2011, 10:34 AM
She's still my friend on Facebook and twitter but I'm leaving her alone... Hoping she will come back.

Why is she still your friend? "Unfriend" her. You do not do NC "hoping she will come back." You do NC in order to heal and move forward with your life.

NonExistent
Apr 29, 2011, 10:44 AM
I know... But if I do this... She's gone for good... I know her well enough to know that. She will be instantly mad at me. & right now she's just posting a ton of sad regretful songs. & my friends have told me that this is only a phase. Damn I'm confused & tearing apart inside... Seriously.

talaniman
Apr 29, 2011, 10:45 AM
Its over, and be glad. As who wants to hop back and forth like that? Naw, time to have fun with someone you can share a life with, and not have to lose friends over.

sungirl27
Apr 30, 2011, 06:21 AM
If you love someone, set them free.. if they come back they are yours, if not, they never were. Probably didn't get that quote exact, but you get the idea. You said "she completely gave up all of the sudden"... shes really been doing this to you on and off for awhile! And its probably going to continue if you stay together. Sounds like she knows she can dump you and get you back whenever she wants because it always happens that way. You need to completely move on for the time being. If she really loves you, she WILL come back and start texting or talking to you. If not, you are better off. She is also expecting you to act available like you always have (other than the 2 day NC)... you need to make this NC for 6 months plus and see what happens!! Best of luck, you are young don't stress about it. There will be many others..

amicon
Apr 30, 2011, 06:29 AM
Leave her to her 'song posting' and move on,you don't need this drama in your life.

No contact,heal and get your own life back.

mmresd
Apr 30, 2011, 01:57 PM
I agree with wondergirl, NC is not a technique no make a girl come back, it is for YOU to be able to start the healing process.

I am sorry to tell you that this is over man, luckily, you are not losing anything great. She seems to be extremely gullable as far as changing her mind goes. It is only a matter of time before she goes partying and get "seduced" by someone, and that WILL hurt. You need to leave her alone completely and let her live her life as you should leave yours.. Even if she wants to get back together, you should be a man and reject her, so that she can get that bitter taste in her month after playing you all those times. So... Keep up NC, look for someone else, and start healing.

Good luck,
Javi