She e mailed me and said it husband says you don't like him; he says you blow him off; that I think he's a bum.

Daughter and husband are living in a trailer with three children; food stamps; not working and living off grandma's estate money. Have never said anything to them and have, in fact, and the rest of the family has given them money. They even took money out of their children's accounts which they had gotten from they Grandmother before she died. I am really hurt and she's mad because she says it's not about my feelings.

Tell her to get a life for heavens sake. If you know better then why does this bother you ? Her husband is only adding flames to the fire and getting her going because he is bored and needs to create some excitement. That is what it sounds like to me.

So you say to her... so what... get a life and hang up on her or however you two communicate. As soon as she sees her comments are not bothering you, then she will back off.

You write like you are an intelligent person, how could you fall for this ? I keep on saying, 'tough love' is the only option you have left if you can't deal with comments from them. Tough love means you tell her to get a life and stop bothering you with trivialities. I know, they are not trivial to you, but she doesn't know that. You have to play the game, peanut.

Good luck in this I feel for you

Tick

Tick

Tell her that they are not working and setting a bad example for the kids,

Tell her that they are not working and setting a bad example for the kids,

Yes, that too, but that opinion is insubstantial really. That is what anyone would say. Sure they are setting a bad example but the problem is the daughter is blaming her mother for her problems; and that isn't right. Daughtrer needs to be brought up short to realize that she can't rely on her mom for her problems.

Tick

Why are they living in these circumstances and for how long? Did they work before and lost their jobs? Have they been trying to find work? Have they always lived off others or is this something that unforeseen circumstances caused to become necessary for now?

Do you like him? Is he a bum? Maybe he is, maybe they both are, and that realisation is too hard for her to face so she puts it on you.

She doesn't want to work, has three children, milks government. Husband had surgery and continuously has something wrong withhim; however, he can build porch decks, etc. I have never been unkind or anything. You may be right that she's putting it on me, I don't know.