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View Full Version : I have temporary custody of my nephew and niece since August 2009?


P0916
Apr 11, 2011, 10:21 PM
I've had custody of my nephew and niece since August 09, but I've been raising my nephew since he was 5 months soon to be 3 and my niece since she was 2 weeks old soon to be 2. Myself and my husband have provided these children with food, shelter, clothing, all necessary items and the love of parents. The mother has been receiving welfare and WIC assistance since they were born and has not helped out with anything. Me like a dummy believed her when she told me I could not receive assistance for them because she willingly gave me temp custody and since it was only temp that's why I couldn't receive any help for them. I have lived my life since they were born walking on eggshells afraid of losing these children they only know me as there mom and my husband as there dad.

Also I almost forgot the mother has a open dyfs case with her other 3 children because someone she left caring for her children were charged with child endangerment. Also the father to the 2 younger children (my nephew and niece) is incarcerated. The mother doesn't see these children on a regular basis, she only would show up on family events and on one occasion she hit my nephew across his mouth because he called her by her name and not mom. She has past history of being incarcerated for distribution of drugs while her kids were in the home. Also she's been putting threats online saying that once she gets her kids back I will never see them again and that I will stress for the rest of my life. So my question is what are my chances of winning this case if I fight back, I know she will have the upper hand because she is the biological mother, but what are the chances of me winning using the defense that I am the physiological parent?

ScottGem
Apr 12, 2011, 03:49 AM
What case? You don't mention any case.

If you are asking what are the chances you can adopt the children, its pretty small without the parent's consent. If you are asking what are the chances of your guardianship being made more permanent, I would say that's pretty good.

I'm assuming here that your custody was affirmed by a court. I would move to make guardianship permanent. What this would do is force the mother to prove her fitness as a parent to get the children back. And based on what you have said, that would be difficult.

P0916
Apr 12, 2011, 07:36 AM
Thank you very much for your answer and sorry I wasn't specific, I have a open custody case with the mother she filed a motion to take custody back after almost 2 years. I do have an attorney but I've been trying to get in touch with him but he hasn't returned my calls, as you might imagine very frustrating. Thanks in advance

P0916
Apr 12, 2011, 07:23 PM
OK let me clarify my question a little better. I recently posted a question, long story short I have temp custody of my nephew and niece and there mother is coming back after almost 2 years and wants to take these children away from me. My brother is currently incarcerated and we do not know when he will be coming home. So my question is does he have a say on who he feels his kids are better off with. He wants the kids to continue staying with me but the mother refuses. I've been taking care of my nephew since he was 5 months old soon to be 3 and my niece since she was 2 weeks old soon to be 2. Does anyone have any advice or any websites dealing with cases "aunts vs bio parents" or anything in that sort. Thanks in advance I really appreciate all the help.

Fr_Chuck
Apr 12, 2011, 07:29 PM
What legal custody do you now have, were you awarded guardianship though the courts ?

The "mother" and the "father" what was their custody, did one of them have custody before.

What type of custody, who gave you that custody, has to be explained first.

excon
Apr 12, 2011, 07:37 PM
Hello p:

You say you have "temp custody", but that wasn't given to you by a court, was it? So, you are just the babysitter, and the mother certainly CAN take them away from you.

excon

P0916
Apr 12, 2011, 07:43 PM
Both parents willingly signed temp custody over to me. The father was home for my nephews birth and did sign the birth certificate but he was incarcerated for my nieces birth and is still currently incarcerated.

P0916
Apr 12, 2011, 07:44 PM
Actually I do have temporary custody through the court it was signed by a judge and currently we are in a court battle.

Fr_Chuck
Apr 12, 2011, 07:56 PM
If you are currently in battle with the mother, you should not have to turn the kids over to mother till the case is over in court. I will wish you luck, since unless the mother can be deemed unfit, a non parent going againts a parent is a hard battle

P0916
Apr 12, 2011, 07:59 PM
Yes you are correct I was told that the children have to stay in my home until the case is completely over and thanks I appreciate everything and it is a very hard battle especially since I also have a natural child of the age of 1 1/2 who was also being raised like a little brother to my niece and nephew. Thanks so much

excon
Apr 12, 2011, 08:36 PM
Hello again, P:

The thing you've got going for you is she turned to kids over to you once before... Judges don't like that.

excon

ScottGem
Apr 13, 2011, 04:03 AM
First, I've merged your two threads. No need to start separate threads. If you need to add a follow-up question or info, please use the Answer options (not Comments)

Yes the bio father does have a say unless his rights have been terminated. What weight the court will place on it may be minimal though.

This is a hard one to call. Since you have bonded with the children and since they were signed over to you previously, I think the courts are likely to go with the status quo. Though they may be liberal with visitation.

P0916
Apr 13, 2011, 09:57 AM
OK thanks I appreciate everything and every helpful comment

P0916
Apr 13, 2011, 09:59 AM
Again thanks to all who have answered believe it or not every detail I receive is very help and I'm truly grateful thanks again in advance.

P0916
Apr 27, 2011, 01:58 PM
I am currently in a custody battle with the mother of my nephew and niece there father is incarcerated. I have become the physiological parent of these children. I have been raising my nephew since he was 5 months old now 3 and my niece since she was 2 weeks old now 2. I've had custody of them since August of 09 willingly given to me by both parents. The mother now wants her children back after 2 1/2 years what are my chances on winning this custody battle and will the judge look at not only that the children have bonded to me but also to my 1 1/2 year old natural child.

Thanks in advance

A very concerned aunt

Also I reside in Camden, NJ

JudyKayTee
Apr 27, 2011, 02:37 PM
The mother is not going to lose her rights as their mother. The Courts tend to side with natural parents. The Courts also don't like the children to become pawns or to keep moving back and forth.

Is the mother unfit, a danger to the children?

The Court doesn't like to see children upset - no Court does - but they also respect family ties, parent and child.

Do the children know her? I could see a gradual change starting with visitation and overnights and weekends and so forth but unless the mother is a danger, I don't see you retaining custody.

And I am sorry for that.

EDIT: Please stop posting the same question. Asked and answered.