We had been dating for a year and four months. We met each other when we were both young. He is two years younger than me. I lived with him and we lived with his mother.

Our relationship was generally a happy one. Of course we had our arguments like most people do. However, over the last few months, it was getting more and more strained between us because money problems were getting tighter (what with gas prices sky-rocketing and both of us having jobs where we didn't work that often) and his friend would continually stay over. When his friend would stay, he would stay for days at a time, and they would do nothing but play XBOX all day. This strained the relationship between he and I more because it was hard to spend alone time with him unless it was while we were going to bed; but I never dreamed of leaving because I love him. And I know that he just wanted to help his friend because his home life wasn't that great.

Throughout our relationship, he told me that he knew that I was "the one." I have always had issues with my family because they've never seemed to care as much about me as they do other family members, and I was always just pushed aside and placed where ever there was room. A month before we broke up, he told me that he loved me and that "this" would always be my home.

The last few weeks of our relationship were harder than most because his friend was at our house for a stretch of about two weeks without leaving. I was annoyed. I just wanted my boyfriend back. I went and hung out with my girl friend a lot, trying to do something for myself to make it not seem so bad that we weren't spending a lot of time together. Of course, we fought through this time. Really, I didn't think things were going as bad as they could have been, considering; but the last few days, it all came crashing down. We were irritated with each other from lack of contact and communication and things just fell apart.

He told me that he had put his heart and soul into our relationship, had jumped in with both feet, had loved me more than his life, but I wasn't a priority anymore. He had things that he wanted to go out and do without having to have me in tow, such as: perhaps going to a culinary school and getting another job to help pay bills. He told me it didn't end with us. That he still wanted to be my friend, he wanted to be loyal and honest, and there for me. And that there were no guarantees, but that we could get back together in the future if things worked out right and if we were both living our lives to the fullest.

We've only been broken up for four days. I've done the stupid thing and gone to his house (which used to be my home) and begged him not to do this. I'm dying inside. He has been my best friend and the one person that got me through everything for over a year. I never went a day without seeing him. And now it feels like a combine has ripped me to pieces. I had to go back to my mother's house where there are four adults living in the same place with no room whatsoever. There are two beds and one couch. Guess who doesn't have a place to sleep? I don't have friends. And I work at a very small, privately owned store that his mother manages. It's killing me to see her and not be able to see or talk to him. He told me that he wants space for a little while.

I don't know what to do here. I know that eventually, it will get easier; but I have nothing else. He and his mother were my saviors.

Am I fighting a losing battle in thinking that he might change his mind? How do I cope?

Hard to manage a relationship when you are trying to get your life together for the future, and he has decided to go for the future. I can see that and while the break up hurts now, as its only been days, your focus should be on your future, and not be dependent on him, or his mom to provide a safe haven for yourself. That's a burden, and maybe its time for you to stand on your own two feet.

My dear you are not fighting anything; you were in love. First, I know that right now you probably feel like your world is crashing around you and that you will never have somebody in your life that is better than the your boyfriend. That is all part of being in love, and also being young. If there's anything at all that you should learn from this, it's that everything happens for a reason. I don't know how old you are, but I know that I have felt the way you do when I was very young but the truth is; who we are when we are 15-18 and who we are when we've become adults are two very different people. We go through relationships and heartbreak so that we can grow, change, and to allow new things to become priority in our life that we never thought would be. (I.E. Me getting excited about a vacuum cleaner for my birthday instead of more materialistic things, HA) But that's part of becoming the person you are meant to be and if the person you are with doesn't fit into that picture, you have to part ways. Think if the tables were turned; you would want your feelings respected as well if you didn't feel like continuing in the relationship. I know it's hard, but it definitely gets better. I also think that perhaps it's so difficult for you due to your background with your family. From what you stated, it seems you were accustomed to constantly being put on the back-burner and you were fed up with it. Your boyfriend seems to be the one person who took you under his wing and made you feel appreciated and important. It's hard when you get so used to somebody being your rock and the one who understands you best, and then all of it being taken away. Well, I know you don't want to hear it but there is always going to be someone better out there for you; and you will know it when you find it. What you need to focus on is yourself and being a strong, independent woman who WILL get through this. I tell you, if I ended up with the first guy that made me feel the way your boyfriend made you feel... I'd be miserable right now. There have been several men in my life who I thought I'd end up spending "forever" with... and I ended up parting ways and I'm glad I did. In hindsight; I learned a lot about myself and each time I thought I knew everything about what I wanted in a relationship going in, I ended up changing what I hoped and expected out of a relationship when I left. Now, I'm successful, in a GREAT relationship with somebody who loves and respects me and I honestly couldn't ask for more. Be strong; listen to lots of mopey music, hang out with your girl friends, start a journal to write down your feelings, and just don't talk to your ex. In a couple of weeks you will be fine! I hope I've helped make you feel better.

P.S. Always remember that the best kind of relationship is the kind where you don't lose "U" just to make an "US". :)

=) Thanks for the answer. I'm 22 now, will be 23 soon. It's been a little over a month since this happened and I'm slowly getting a little better. The depression still has a hold on me, but that's to be expected. He's been hanging out with me a lot. Talking to me, being my friend. Helping me through the rough times with my family. He lets me come stay at his house when I need to get away from the things going on at my mother's house. Not sure what that means, but it's probably just that he's being a good friend. Glad for that at least =) Thanks for the advice!

Well good. It's rare for two people previously romantically involved to continue a civil friendship afterwards, but if it works for you and helps you ease into being single again then great. I hope you both can appreciate the time you had together. Best wishes to you. :)