southamerica
Apr 11, 2011, 02:08 PM
I had a "boyfriend" from 6th to the 8th grade (really we were just buddies). We've stayed friends throughout the years and I've come to rely on him as one of my best friends. He and I have always been there for each other: from practical stuff down to breakups and traumas. We get along really well and I enjoy having him in my life.
Over the last two-three years, he has strongly expressed deeper/romantic feelings for me. In 2009, I dated him for about two weeks but I just didn't feel *it*. I have tried expressing to him my regret for leading him on, and that I value him so much as a friend and important person in my life. I always thought we would be okay, but he stayed pretty adamant that I just needed to grow up a little and eventually I would see that we were meant to be.
In Fall 2010, I tried my best to explain to him that he was a very important person to me, and it would be wonderful for us to be a part of each other's lives, but he needed to understand that nothing romantic would ever happen.
I guess I finally got the message across to him, but now he's cold. He has a new girlfriend, which is great, but when I ask him how they are doing he writes "She's amazing, she really gets me and isn't afraid to love me. She accepts me for who I am, faults and all. She's a grown up which is what I should have been looking for all along."
I get it, he's bitter at me. My question is: is our friendship a lost cause? I keep trying to make plans for double dates, or game nights, or just email him-but all I'm getting in return are short, cold emails or he's flat out ignoring me. I hate the idea of losing him as a friend-but maybe leaving him alone for good is the best thing I can do for him? Any insight is great.
(I know I ask a ton of questions here about emotional stuff--thank you all for your advice, support, and insights. And patience!)
Over the last two-three years, he has strongly expressed deeper/romantic feelings for me. In 2009, I dated him for about two weeks but I just didn't feel *it*. I have tried expressing to him my regret for leading him on, and that I value him so much as a friend and important person in my life. I always thought we would be okay, but he stayed pretty adamant that I just needed to grow up a little and eventually I would see that we were meant to be.
In Fall 2010, I tried my best to explain to him that he was a very important person to me, and it would be wonderful for us to be a part of each other's lives, but he needed to understand that nothing romantic would ever happen.
I guess I finally got the message across to him, but now he's cold. He has a new girlfriend, which is great, but when I ask him how they are doing he writes "She's amazing, she really gets me and isn't afraid to love me. She accepts me for who I am, faults and all. She's a grown up which is what I should have been looking for all along."
I get it, he's bitter at me. My question is: is our friendship a lost cause? I keep trying to make plans for double dates, or game nights, or just email him-but all I'm getting in return are short, cold emails or he's flat out ignoring me. I hate the idea of losing him as a friend-but maybe leaving him alone for good is the best thing I can do for him? Any insight is great.
(I know I ask a ton of questions here about emotional stuff--thank you all for your advice, support, and insights. And patience!)