Getting married. Having a small civil ceremony. After honeymoon planning a reception dinner for family and friends at a local restaurant, which my wife and I are covering all expenses for. Due to space and budget limitations, we want to limit the attendees to couples, this would mean no kids.

What is the appropriate way to word the invitation as not to offend anyone because kids are not invited?

I recently received an invitation that said Adult Reception... with the information concerning the time and place.

Is this the same person you posted about before? Good to see that things worked out. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/less-time-together-540797-3.html#post2656647

The etiquette is that only people specifically addressed on the envelope for invitation are invited and unless they are clods should know not to bring extra people.

So address the envelopes, for example, "Peter and Nancy Keller" or "Peter Keller and Nancy Smith-Keller" or, "Mr. and Mrs Peter Keller".

Also include a response card with a pre-addressed, stamped envelope which should read:

_ Will attend
_ Will not be able to attend

Guest Name(s):____________
No. of guests:_____

If someone responds for 5 guests but you've only invited a couple or individual, just call them and clarify, "thanks for responding so quickly - we're thrilled you can make it. I noticed you replied for the whole family, and so wanted to just let you know we are only inviting adults. I hope you can get a sitter?" Do not apologize or it gives the impression you've done something wrong - you've nothing to apologize for.

If there's a reason for limiting to adults, you can share it but do not have to. A few people got mad at me for not inviting their precious offspring when I married years ago and I just explained, "I hope you'll understand I have 30 first cousins, and most have large families-we just cannot afford to have all of them, and cannot invite some and not others". A friend simply told people, "We really want an elegant adult evening, so are not including children".

Then, if someone responds for 5 people and you only invited two, you can call and say, "thanks so much for getting back to us - we see you've responded with 5 guests but there are just two of you so we were wondering who is planning to come?" If they say, "us adn the kids" you can then say, "Oh, we're very sorry but this i an adult affair - I hope you can get a sitter?"


I wouldn't want to have to do this - I think it would be extraordinarily awkward to have to place this call.

And I agree - you could address the envelope any which way and someone would show up, children in tow.

I'd cover it with adult receiption. I'm curious to see how other people handle this.

Thanks everyone, very helpful advice!. Yes this is the same person I posted about earlier. We have worked through our issues. As it turned out, she came back to me in February and admitted she was running away from her feelings because she was afraid. She has been single for 10 years and she needed some time and space to sort things out. We are very happy now and both fully believe we have found what we were looking for in a life partner and relationship. We have built a very strong foundation of friendship, mutual respect, and our communication is incredible. I have gotten much better in the trust department since I now know her true feelings and commitment to me. I am sure that will improve even more over time. We are very exicted about our life and future together... Life is good :)