Hi please could some one help me my brother is 55yrs and never married and my mum has looked after him all his life up until 4 years ago, my mum is 82 and my brother has been her carer for 4 years with help from carers who come 3 times a day to change mum I do mums washing get her percriptions and clean the house for them and stay with for 5 hours every 2 to 3 weeks so my brother can go and play golf. Also I paid for the carers to come in for 2 and a half years in the beginning

. I don't know if my mum has made a will if I asked she would not remember as her memory isn't too good. If I asked my brother I would not get the truth from him as he tells a lot of lies. I know my mum wants him to live in the house when she passes away.

My brother has power of eternity and has all my mums money her pension my dads work pension and care allowance etc, my mum lives on ensure drinks that she gets free on perscripion so he does not have to pay for any food for her, he tells me he has saved up £16.000 of mums money saved in his bank account since the 4 yrs of looking after her he says she agrees to that, he has £28,000 in all saved up in his bank account.

He says that when mum dies he will pay me rent for 40% of the house in rent per month which at the moment would work out to £200 a month so he can still live there.I think my mum seems to agree with every think he says as she needs him there and I think she is worried he will leave and she will have to go in a care home which she dreads the though of it.

I have not much money even though I have worked hard all my life and brought up 3 children perhaps I am feeling sorry for myself.

He tells me that as he looks after her he is entitled to every think and that I should not make a fuss and if it was the other way round he would understand.

I have been a good daughter and visited twice a week in the 38 years since leaving home. He didn't give up a job to look after my mum as had been out of work for 8 yrs or more before then. What I would like to know is if my mum made a will it would have been 4 or 5 years ago if she did would I beable to contest it? I feel he is taking advantage of her situation.
Also am I being unreasonable about this? And should my brother be intitled to everything ? Am I not intitled to even a small amount? Please if possible could I have a few people views on this thanks Diane

Yes u can contest the will in probate court.but very hard and ties the esate up for long peroid of times.I don't think you are being a bad person,sounds like he's a dead beat just waiting on here to die.but will the money really be worth fighting for is there that much.in the end he will lose everything greed will get u every time.kept your head up and trust me what goes around will come around

Hi thank you for your reply and help hopefully other viewers will post a reply as the whether I am making a fuss or being unreasonble thanks again Diane

There are some jumbled stuff here. To make sure I understand it, let me recap. About 4 years ago your brother moved in with your mum to provide care for her. She gave him Power of Attorney so he can manage her income which is from your dad's pension (I assume dad is deceased) and her care allowances. He says he's saved 16K from her income and has 28K of his own. You also said you think mum wants him to continue to live in the house. And he has offered to pay you 200/month which is 40% of what the rental would be. Do I have it right?

If so, I think its reasonable. I don't think he's being a deadbeat as your first response said. He MIGHT offer to share some of the 16K with you, but seeing as how he is providing the bulk of the care, I don't think its unreasonable. He could fudge it so that you got nothing and would have to go through a long and costly probate fight to get anything with no guarantees.

Hi thanks for you reply just to say my brother did not move in with my mum to look after her he already lived there my mum has cooked washed cleaned etc for him and waited on him hand and foot for all his life up until the last 4 years, even though most of his working life he was unemployed. I have decided that I would not contest a will if there is one but is it fair that he should have the house and the £16.000 of mums money, as no way would he give me a lump some of even £1.000. I would like more views on my question please. Thanks Diane

Let me put it this way. Mum is still alive. You don't know how much will be there when she dies. There will also be funeral expenses to take care of.

I think it would be reasonable for your brother to give you 40% of whatever is left but without a probate battle, not much you can do.

Hi thanks for your reply. Any more views I would welcome as to whether I am being unreasonble or not please. Thanks