View Full Version : Should I talk to him?
lifeisweird
Apr 6, 2011, 06:18 PM
So here is the story:
Well my last boyfriend and I broke up over a month ago because he told me I would yell at him too much, but I feel like he didn't understand how much stress I have been under (mom has breast cancer) and I would not realize I would be yelling at him. I would say my sorry and I didn't mean, but he just broke up with me over the phone when I was away one weekend and never gave me a good excuse why. I have been so upset by this break up because I really really cared about him and it doesn't seem to effect him at all (we have the same friends and they would give me updates about him). I have sort of have gotten over him and moved on, but all I really want to know is why he did break up with me all of the sudden and how he could just stop caring so easily. Do you think I should talk to him or not even bother it.
watermelon5050
Apr 6, 2011, 07:50 PM
At this point I wouldn't even bother. If he couldn't give you a good excuse why and didn't have the courage to say it to your face then it's not worth it. If he's not effected by it then why should you be? I know it's hard to think back on everything and wonder "why" but it's not worth it. If it's that easy for him to walk out of your life, let him. Talking to him may just push him away even more. If he's ready to talk, he'll talk but you have to understand he may never be ready to talk. Don't live your life waiting for him to talk to you. Also just a tip: it helps me get over people when I don't do check ups on them because then I'm stuck comparing my life to theirs and how happy they are to how happy I am. Be happy. You deserve better (: I hope your mom is okay though!
talaniman
Apr 6, 2011, 09:22 PM
Leave him alone. You need no explanation from him because you know what you were going through, and he couldn't help you through it, or understand it. That's why he left.
That's why you leave him alone, and move forward. Hope your mom gets better soon. I know its stressful.
Sumitkumar7266
Apr 6, 2011, 10:00 PM
Leave him.. He moved on.. U also move.. When he can't understand you then there is no reason to stay in the relationship.. Someone yell only to the close person but he din't understand that.. Leave him and let him realise that he is missing a nice peron.. If he is coming back again,then just accept him.. He broke up.. not u so let him come..
Jake2008
Apr 7, 2011, 05:51 AM
We all go through terrible trauma in our lives with our own situations, and those of others that we love. How you handle what life throws at you, affects everyone around you.
If you talk and listen and get your thoughts, feelings, and emotions out in a constructive way, your partner may have been loving and supportive. But to take raw feelings out on someone by yelling at them, isn't treating him with much respect. A mother screaming at a kid for breaking a lamp, while a knee jerk reaction, isn't showing maturity and good parenting skills toward the child.
Screaming never solves anything, it only leaves one person feeling better, and the receiver feeling helpless.
Part of any good relationship is the ability to communicate in a meaningful way. Screaming is not resolving anything, and doesn't allow the receiving party much room to help with whatever is causing the stress. Nobody likes to be another persons 'punching bag'. You saying that he didn't understand the stress you were under, is still no excuse to expect him to be yelled at. That you didn't realize you were even screaming tells me that you should try to be more aware of emotions building, and deal with them, before they explode.
I'm pointing this out because you stated the reason he split was because you yelled at him all the time. The plus of all this is that you recognize that how you dealt with your stress, caused significantly more stress (the breakup) on top of an already stressful situation for you. Maybe try to realize that how you handle the stress in your life, isn't doing you any good, and it negatively affects others around you. When you move on to another relationship, work on expressing yourself in a more constructive way.
Recognize when your emotions are getting the best of you, and when you have an opportunity to talk things out, do so with more control. You will never know that had you managed your emotions better, that the recent boyfriend couldn't have been a very willing, helpful partner who would have shared this burden with you, and you would have seen a side of him that you didn't know existed.