glenbel
Apr 4, 2011, 11:43 PM
Im 23 years old and my boyfriend is 25, we got together when I was 17 and he was 19 dated for 2 years then broke up got back together 3 years later and now we've been together for a year and a half. My boyfriend has a drinking problem, he said he wants to quit so I supported him, he said he needed me so I never left his side, eventho there were times when I really wanted to and at times I wish I should've.
Being with someone with an alcohol problem is not easy, I went through a deppression period because I was so stressed out, I felt like I was the only one doing my part because he was drinking heavily, other times he would ignore me, act like I don't exist when he had alcohol in his hands, he wouldn't answer his phone when he's out drinking, I would get mad at him because he sometimes drives himself home after drinking at the bar, he's already had two DUI's, I don't want him to have a third one. Other times he would say terrible things to me, things you shouldn't say to someone you love, I'd let it go because I'd tell myself that he has a drinking problem, he didn't mean it, he wasn't at his right mind. He stopped spending time with me. I would see him but only twice a week, when he lives less than 10 minutes away, sometimes he would limit the time we have together and he would complain about how he doesn't have time for himself to relax, which to me is ridiculous because he only sees me if I'm lucky maybe twice a week, this went on and on for a year, I know I should've left but I was in love with him and when you love someone you should be there for goodtimes and bad times, sometimes he would be really sweet and he would tell me how much he wants to quit drinking and he sees that I've always been there for him supporting him and never left his side, but other times he'd be completely different, cold and emotionless, he'd be like a roller coaster,most of the time I'm scared to talk to him because he'd be mad or he'll say things that hurts my feelings, when he hurts my feelings he tells me that he doesn't mean it, he tells me that it is the way he is.
A couple of weeks ago he told me that he doesn't feel the spark anymore but he still loved me and still wanted to be together, I was really worried So, I tried everything I could to rekindle back the flame, I was making him dinner, cleaning his house, changed my attitude because I thought it was because of me and I think it worked because he was acting like he was really in love with me but I was still seeing him twice a week, I still had limits when we spent time together, I was still making appointments before I can visit him at his apartment because when I show up unexpectedly he gets really mad.
Last night I told him about how I really felt, I told him that seeing him twice a week wasn't enough, everyday was always about him because he has a drinking problem, I made it all about him because he had needs and I forgot about myself, I think about those nights that I spent crying from him ignoring me because he was at the bar drinking with his friends, I think about the money I;ve given him because he said he needed money for food but I found out later that he had used the money to buy alcohol, I think about the fights we've had because his drinking was hurting me so much because I felt like I was doing whatever I can in my power to get him to stop yet he still can't stop drinking, he doesn't see how much I'm hurting, how much I'm trying.
I woke up this morning realizing... WOW I am tired of it all! I asked myself "what about me?" "When is it my turn?" I told him that there's got to be someone out there who will appreciatte what he has because he obviously doesn't. He told me he was really going to start working on getting sober but for the first time in a long time they meant nothing to me, maybe because I've heard him say the same thing over and over again.
I don't know why all of a sudden I feel this way, it kind of scares me, I still love him and care about him but I'm starting to feel like I shouldn't be with him anymore and when I thing about breaking up with him I start to feel guilty, I start to feel like Im giving up on him. Is this normal? Should I break up with him?
Being with someone with an alcohol problem is not easy, I went through a deppression period because I was so stressed out, I felt like I was the only one doing my part because he was drinking heavily, other times he would ignore me, act like I don't exist when he had alcohol in his hands, he wouldn't answer his phone when he's out drinking, I would get mad at him because he sometimes drives himself home after drinking at the bar, he's already had two DUI's, I don't want him to have a third one. Other times he would say terrible things to me, things you shouldn't say to someone you love, I'd let it go because I'd tell myself that he has a drinking problem, he didn't mean it, he wasn't at his right mind. He stopped spending time with me. I would see him but only twice a week, when he lives less than 10 minutes away, sometimes he would limit the time we have together and he would complain about how he doesn't have time for himself to relax, which to me is ridiculous because he only sees me if I'm lucky maybe twice a week, this went on and on for a year, I know I should've left but I was in love with him and when you love someone you should be there for goodtimes and bad times, sometimes he would be really sweet and he would tell me how much he wants to quit drinking and he sees that I've always been there for him supporting him and never left his side, but other times he'd be completely different, cold and emotionless, he'd be like a roller coaster,most of the time I'm scared to talk to him because he'd be mad or he'll say things that hurts my feelings, when he hurts my feelings he tells me that he doesn't mean it, he tells me that it is the way he is.
A couple of weeks ago he told me that he doesn't feel the spark anymore but he still loved me and still wanted to be together, I was really worried So, I tried everything I could to rekindle back the flame, I was making him dinner, cleaning his house, changed my attitude because I thought it was because of me and I think it worked because he was acting like he was really in love with me but I was still seeing him twice a week, I still had limits when we spent time together, I was still making appointments before I can visit him at his apartment because when I show up unexpectedly he gets really mad.
Last night I told him about how I really felt, I told him that seeing him twice a week wasn't enough, everyday was always about him because he has a drinking problem, I made it all about him because he had needs and I forgot about myself, I think about those nights that I spent crying from him ignoring me because he was at the bar drinking with his friends, I think about the money I;ve given him because he said he needed money for food but I found out later that he had used the money to buy alcohol, I think about the fights we've had because his drinking was hurting me so much because I felt like I was doing whatever I can in my power to get him to stop yet he still can't stop drinking, he doesn't see how much I'm hurting, how much I'm trying.
I woke up this morning realizing... WOW I am tired of it all! I asked myself "what about me?" "When is it my turn?" I told him that there's got to be someone out there who will appreciatte what he has because he obviously doesn't. He told me he was really going to start working on getting sober but for the first time in a long time they meant nothing to me, maybe because I've heard him say the same thing over and over again.
I don't know why all of a sudden I feel this way, it kind of scares me, I still love him and care about him but I'm starting to feel like I shouldn't be with him anymore and when I thing about breaking up with him I start to feel guilty, I start to feel like Im giving up on him. Is this normal? Should I break up with him?