I used to never tell anyone I was with whether I was a virgin or not but I told my staus to a boyfriend once. I think he took it well but, what does that mean what is the best way to take that. I always would wonder if he liked it, if he felt pressure if he looked down on me (of the opposite). I know this is a new day and age but I do consider myself old fashioned and he was the one guy who convinced me that as my boyfriend he sort of had a right to know. What really goes on if you guys's head. Do you prefer someone who is experienced or not?

Due to posting restriction on this forum, we first have to know your age before we can post.

How old are you? I have to ask because of board rules.

I can say that if your partner has a problem with your history, regardless of what it is, then they aren't the right partner for YOU.

Edit: Alty beat me to the punch. Of course :)

I am 19 years old

No one has a right to know until the relationship gets "that serious."

The guys I used to date respected me and the other young women for it. (Back when rocks were cooling, being a virgin used to be the norm.) Only a few considered it a challenge.

The guys I would date in 2011 would also respect me for it, or I wouldn't date them, and I wouldn't broadcast it. If anyone considered it a challenge, I'd run fast in the other direction.

Oh, and I'd want the guy I was serious about to be a virgin too.

Everyone has their preferences-some like virgins, some like experience, some just don't care about that.

Like I said, the person you're serious about shouldn't care about that status. It's in your past and today is a new day.

Once I'm ready to make that step with my man, the only thing I care about is the results of an STD/STI test. As long as it's clean on BOTH SIDES, we're golden.

Okay, I care about another thing, too, and that's that BOTH SIDES are clear as to what will happen should a pregnancy occur. Oh yes, I have THAT talk before we ever get into bed. And I think all men and women who are sexually active should do the same.

Well I love your answer and although I understand that times have changed. I have always thought I grew up in the conpletely wrong era. I am much more old fashioned. I don't think it is anything to be ashamed of but when I am serious about someone I really wonder what they would think of me.

Also to your last point my current boyfriend is not a virgin so... :/

Well I love your answer and although I understand that times have changed. I have always thought I grew up in the conpletely wrong era. I am much more old fashioned. I don't think it is anything to be ashamed of but when I am serious about someone I really wonder what they would think of me.

Also to your last point my current boyfriend is not a virgin so... :/ The worthy, good men that I have known and that I do know do NOT care if a girl is a virgin. Those who do are scummy and not worth it anyway!

Well I like that and my current boyfriend says that he wants me to have his children and everything, but I am young so that would be so much later. When we do start having sex though I feel very nervous about it and whether he looks at me differently... Thank you, you guys are right though if he does not care then that is a good sign.

Is this the boyfriend you have only been with a few months (per your other thread)?

Hopefully you and he have established expectations and future goals if you're already talking about kids! If you don't want them now (good idea on your part, by the way), he should know that if that's what he's expecting.

Yes we have only been together for a few months and I have never moved this fast. But he is a very emotional person he tells me how he feels what is on his mind what he wants for your future but he knows that I am different. I want to move more slowly and I only want kids when I am secure, married and ready. No time sooon!

I am 19 years old

Good for you. As long as your partner supports your decisions and is willing to wait-and as long as you care about one another-then it sounds like it will be all good.

Make sure you communicate with him. Communication is the life force of good relationships.

Also to your last point my current boyfriend is not a virgin so... :/

He sounds like a Good Guy, and it IS 2011. I would want a guy to be a virgin, but I probably wouldn't get my wish. It's who he is inside and how he treats me and other people that tells me more than virginity would.

I think that a persons past is just that, past.

If you have love and respect for each other as you are now, the past is best left alone.

All to often it causes problems that cannot be dealt with until we learn to change the past which I don't see as an option in the near future.

I will not lie about my past , but will warn that you should not ask anything you may have problems with.

What the person is now , and the chemistry between them is important. Not what has taken place before you know them.

Since I have never heard the "I am a Virgin" Line to anyone I was romantically involved with... It is a sign of the times.

To be honest it doesn't matter much. It does matter a little. My usual reaction is, "oh.... cool." Then before we do any sort of deed we both get tested and I am sure to wrap my zapper.

To play a bit of the devil's advocate for the males who aren't as enlightened as those on this board. If a guy is told that his GF is a virgin, at the appropriate time, then it will probably come as a surprise and a bit of a let down. Two reasons for that, one is that he is unlikely to get into her pants any time soon, and that when he does he is going to have to... I hate to use the word train her. That probably came across a little misogynistic, but considering the way a boy is programmed it should not be surprising. The converse would be true for people who weren't virgins. We just like their numbers to be less then ours.

Sorry for that confused mess.

I'm totally coming at this from a female point of view. When I lost my virginity the guy I was with was thrilled. But that's not the case for every guy.

I have many guy friends, and the majority of them say that they'd rather not be with a virgin, too much pressure, and like Craven said, they don't want to be responsible for the "training" for lack of a better word.

So it depends on the guy.

If he loves you it shouldn't matter either way.

No thank you! I definitely wanted a male point of view @ least you are honest. You guys all seem like adults(older then me @ least). I figured that most guys would not want to be with a virgin but I guess it also depends and for me it depends on age I think. My boyfriend although he is only a year older then me is more "experienced". He said it is "nice"... I believe him but who knows what that really means. So far though he kind of seems to like what many of you guys have been saying.. "The Challange"

But I have heard of that as long as the number is less then the guys :)

But I have heard of that as long as the number is less then the guys :)

That depends on the guy too. My "number" is a lot higher then my husbands. That never bothered him.

Now that I've made myself sound like a complete slut, I'll just leave this thread to the younger peeps. :o ;)

No thank you! I definitely wanted a male point of view @ least you are honest. You guys all seem like adults(older then me @ least). I figured that most guys would not want to be with a virgin but I guess it also depends and for me it depends on age I think. My boyfriend although he is only a year older then me is more "experienced". He said it is "nice"... I believe him but who knows what that really means. So far though he kind of seems to like what many of you guys have been saying.. "The Challange"

But I have heard of that as long as the number is less then the guys :)

A lot of it too depends on how much emphasis you put on it. If you put massive amount of emphasis on it then it will be a big deal. On the other hand if you handle it casually then it probably won't be such a big deal. It is really only as important to us and you make it important to you.

The response nice would probably imply that he does admire you for being discerning in your liaisons. It could also imply that he wants to the first to travel a road no one has travelled before. Which is also possible. I have know guys like that, people who only want one that one thing.

In the end it is based on his personality and you need to interpret it based on that regard. We won't be able to tell you more then what we have at this point. It is a spectrum.

Back in the day, I was with a virgin who taught me some tricks I had never before experienced.

I wasn't a virgin at the time but sure felt like one.

Didn't care where she learned her tricks, just glad she shared.

Its all a personal point of view.

Training a virgin was never my "thing." As far as past history - I never felt it was anyone's business unless I felt it would alter/change/affect a relationship. The who/what/where can come back to bite you.