I was not married to my sons bio-father. My son is 9 1/2, has no memory of his bio dad and has not had contact with his bio dad since he was 3 1/2. I have been married now for 5 years. My husband wants to adopt my son, this is the only dad my son has known. I do not have any idea of how to contact the bio dad (nor do I want to because I do fear him and what he will do to me). In Florida do I have to have the permission of the bio dad - yes he is on the birth certificat.. he has never paid child support (I have never asked), has not seen my son, the bio dad DOES know how to contact me via my parents and has only once ever made an effort (4+ years ago) with a threat of injury to my parents.

I really just want my son to legally be adopted and until he is ready not have to explain anything else to him. My son has memories of the "man who used to live with us".. the bad man, the one who used to beat mommy up and my son hid in his room. I don't dwell on this with my son, Just want the best for him.

Every jurisdiction is different so you need to find a famliy law attorney in your county and state and ask them what would be involved.

That said, paternity is established and he was involved with the child for a few years. Based on laws and states I am familiar with, my best guess is that you will either have to find him and get his consent, find him and fight him on the basis that he abandoned the child if he will not give consent, or satisfy for the court that you've made great efforts to find him, have been unsuccessful and he has abandoned the child so they can rule in his absence in your favor.

If you have kept the child from him on purpose such as by moving and not telling him, avoiding his calls, returning his mail, etc. you could be opening up some real problems for yourself. If he just disappeared though and has done nothing in the capacity of a father all this time, you'd probably prevail.