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View Full Version : My boyfriend of 5 years won't have sex with me anymore


Nikki5377
Mar 27, 2011, 09:52 AM
I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 21, we have been together for 5 years, we live together, we were each other's firsts. He has had sex with another girl after we were dating for 3 years but they never dated and we broke up for a couple months. He WAS addicted to porn. He says he hasn't cheated on me since, I have not cheated on him once whether it be kissing or sex, or porn or anything. At the start of our relationship all we did was have sex, when we moved in together the sex slowed down a little. Now I have the beg for sex.. and I still don't get it. In the past 4 months we had sex once, and he was drunk. He is a great boyfriend who made one mistake, he is very supportive. And is sweet to me, the only problem now is that we don't have sex, we talk about it and plan too, but he ALWAYS ends up falling sleep before we get to do anything. I was starting to think that it was the way I looked but he assures me that I look beautiful everyday. This is really hurting myself esteem, and I don't know how much more I can take. People say sex isn't important, but in ways it's very important. Help me, I need to know what's going on with my boyfriend and how I can change or get him more excited about having sex.

ChihuahuaMomma
Mar 27, 2011, 01:31 PM
Does he work a lot? Have you talked to him about this? Addictions don't just GO AWAY, perhaps he needs to seek help for this because it could be interfering with your sexual relationship.

Nikki5377
Mar 27, 2011, 01:54 PM
He does work, but after work he has enough energy to do anything else but have sex. We are open to talking to one other about sex and not having it but he doesn't give me a reason why he doesn't want to have sex.I know that addictions don't just go away, he asked me to help him stop, and he hasn't watched porn or masturbated in months. I just don't know what to do. I love him and I don't want this to come between us. It's hard not knowing why we can't be intimate with each other anymore.

ChihuahuaMomma
Mar 27, 2011, 02:19 PM
Have you considered a relationship therapist? I honestly do not believe that he hasn't masturbated in months, especially since the two of you haven't had sex in months. Something here doesn't add up. I can't tell you what that is. Hopefully an expert in this area can come in and help!

Cat1864
Mar 27, 2011, 06:31 PM
How was it determined that he has an 'addiction' to porn? Were you having issues with not having sex before he gave up masturbating and porn?

How is it that he 'cheated' on you? Is this ever brought up now?

Does he show affection in other ways?

Could there be some boredom? Do you share fantasies or have other means of keeping your sex life from stagnating?

Do you masturbate or do you think sex with your partner is the only way to get sexual pleasure?