View Full Version : I'm 15 Years Old In Love With A 21 Yr Old. Is It Bad If We Both Love each other?
crazygirl_ily
Mar 26, 2011, 02:35 PM
Im 15 Years Old In Love With A 21 Yr Old. Is It Bad If We Both Love Each other?
ScottGem
Mar 26, 2011, 02:38 PM
A 21 yr old has no business being in a relationship with a 15 yr old. The two of you are at very different phases of your life with very little, if anything in common.
And if there is any sexual aspect to the relationship it is likely to be illegal.
What do you parents think about your relationship?
Wondergirl
Mar 26, 2011, 02:39 PM
Just out of curiosity, what do you see him as being to you? What does he bring into your life?
Curlyben
Mar 26, 2011, 02:39 PM
Bad, no, but there could be SERIOUS legal consequences if the 21 year old ADULT takes this any further than being platonic.
countrygurl19
Mar 30, 2011, 05:32 AM
Its just nastey that a man takes interest in a child.. its illegal!!
martinizing2
Mar 30, 2011, 07:08 AM
Im 15 Years Old In Love With A 21 Yr Old. Is It Bad If We Both Love Eachother?
How do you define love?
If any physical form is involved it is bad.
Real real bad.
Locked up for lots of years bad. (with men who don't hesitate to show you how much they disagree with your choices.)
A 21 yr old man interested in a girl six years his junior speaks loudly of him not really being mature yet.
Or worse.
Be cautious as you remove yourself from this situation
Which you should do now.
I question his motives, actions, and lack of maturity.
crazygirl_ily
Apr 19, 2011, 04:32 PM
His like the guy I always dreamed of his so sweet and like always brightens up my day ! I really do like him and I'm almost going to be 16 his the one I want to be with
Your just scaring me but they said that in love there's no age :(
{vulgarity removed} its called loveee !
Alty
Apr 19, 2011, 04:34 PM
What do the two of you have in common?
He's old enough to drink, vote, drive, and work.
You can't do any of that.
What do you two see in each other?
crazygirl_ily
Apr 19, 2011, 04:34 PM
I define love like something that you just can't explain its some feeing you have inside that's sooo strong but honestly I wanted you help not for you guys to get me scared !
Wondergirl
Apr 19, 2011, 04:35 PM
Comment on Wondergirl's post
Originally Posted by Wondergirl:
Just out of curiosity, what do you see him as being to you? What does he bring into your life?
his like the guy i always dreamed of his soo sweet and like always brightens up my day ! i really do like him and im almost going to be 16 his the one i want to be with
Now, please answer my questions. "Sweet" and "brightens my day" don't answer them. My dentist is sweet and brightens my day, as does my doctor, grocery check-out guy, and mechanic.
Alty
Apr 19, 2011, 04:48 PM
I define love like something that you just can't explain its some feeing you have inside that's sooo strong but honestly I wanted you help not for you guys to get me scared !
What you're describing isn't love. But then again, you're only 15, and not really aware of what being in love entails.
Love is so much more then a feeling. Real love is so much more. At 15 you're not capable of what real love entails. That's why we're questioning you feelings.
ScottGem
Apr 19, 2011, 04:48 PM
your just scaring me but they said that in love theres no age :(
Who is "they"? But whoever "they" is they are wrong. As one gets older the difference in ages makes less and less a difference. If you were both over 21 it wouldn't make any difference. But at your ages it makes a big difference. He is an adult and you are still a child. It is very likely you just think you are in love, but you are too young (and I would venture to say too immature) to really know what love is.
And he is irresponsible if he is having a romantic relationship with someone so young. And you never answered what your parents think.
P.S. If you have follow-up questions or info, Please use the Answer options not comments.
ScottGem
Apr 19, 2011, 05:01 PM
i define love like something that you just can't explain its some feeing you have inside thats sooo strong but honestly i wanted you help not for you guys to get me scared !
But getting you scared IS helping you. You didn't really want help you, did you? You wanted someone to tell you it was OK for you to have a relationship with this guy. That's clear from your responses. But what you need is a wakeup call to understand that a 21 yr old man who wants a relationship with a 15 yr old is a predator.
Alty
Apr 19, 2011, 05:10 PM
I couldn't agree more with Scott. I asked about what you two have in common, because I already know the answer. You're a child, he's an adult, you have nothing in common.
You're young, and therefore you're easily fooled, easily played, and easily manipulated. That's what he sees in you.
You're a teen, hormones raging, don't have the sense God gave a goat, and this adult is interested in you. It's a dream come true for a teen. Of course you think it's love, because you don't know any better.
The fact is, he's a predator, a pedophile. Been there, done that, learned the hard way. Still have the scars.
I know that telling you it's a bad idea won't work. I was 15 once too. But, just in case you're smarter then most 15 year olds, I'll say it anyway. He's after one thing. Once you get older, he'll dump you for the next 15 year old. I'd bet money on it.
Want to bet?
dream_angel
Apr 20, 2011, 07:59 PM
I understand what you feel I know what you are saying love is something true and amazing but is this really love does he make you smile with out trying does she show you that you're the only one does he ever tell you what your love means to him? And do you show that you love him and I don't mean with sex I mean what do you do for him is it just a one way thing were the guy does all the showing and you just watch and take what he gives cause if so then its not anywhere close to love so think about it before you say your in love with him till you understand what love is.
Alty
Apr 20, 2011, 09:32 PM
Love isn't a smile, love isn't showing you you're the only one. Love is so much more then that. Love is holding your hair back when you're being sick in the bathroom. Love is cleaning the house while you're at work. Love is holding you when you're sad. Love is working with you to make your dreams come true. Love is accepting each others faults. Love is so much more.
If you think you love someone because of a few smiles and because he shows it without trying, then you're in for a big shock when reality sets in.
Homegirl 50
Apr 20, 2011, 09:35 PM
There is something wrong with him.
Do your parents know you are seeing this adult male?
crazygirl_ily
May 6, 2011, 09:37 PM
First I want to say thanks for taking your time to answer my question but we are NOT going out! We don't see each other we don't talk about having a relationship at all ! He respects me and we are really good friends because we know we can't be together and you guys never asked me how I felt about all this and now I don't care but thanks anyway
Wondergirl
May 6, 2011, 10:40 PM
you guys never asked me how i felt about all this
I did -- "Originally Posted by Wondergirl: Just out of curiosity, what do you see him as being to you? What does he bring into your life? "
ScottGem
May 7, 2011, 06:11 AM
First i want to say thanks for taking your time to answer my question but we are NOT going out !! we dont see eachother we dont talk about having a relationship at all ! He respects me and we are really good friends because we know we can't be together and you guys never asked me how i felt about all this and now i dont care but thanks anyway
Excuse me, but you asked whether it was bad if you loved each other. This implies that YOU believe you are in love with him. So why would we need to ask how you felt about it.
I still don't see how a 15 and 21 yr old could be true friends. The age difference is too great. But the bottom line is you should not be having a romantic relationship with him at least not for another 3-4 years.
crazygirl_ily
May 7, 2011, 08:46 AM
We aren't having no romanic relationship ! Final.
Homegirl 50
May 7, 2011, 11:33 AM
It is very odd and inappropriate for a 21 year old to tell a 15 year old that he loves her. There should not even be an opportunity for such conversations to be taking place. That kind of conversation implies a certain intimacy which is just wrong between your ages.
I have a feeling you are trying to cover his butt. Hopefully he will also see he needs to leave you alone.
Fr_Chuck
May 7, 2011, 12:55 PM
If you are not having a physcial relationship you will, at 21 he is or should be thinking of a more long term relationship, not going to a high school prom in 3 years when he is 24. He would most likely have more in common with your mom than you in a dating situation.
He is as close to a child molestor as I can judge playing on your young age.
ScottGem
May 7, 2011, 02:38 PM
we arent having no romanic relationship ! final.
So when you implied he was in love with you in your OP that was fiction or just wishful thinking on your part? He has never said he loves you or given any indication that he has any romantic feelings for you?
If so, then fine, no relationship exists so your original question is moot.
imsurroundedbyfish
May 9, 2011, 08:21 AM
we are NOT going out !! we dont see eachother we dont talk about having a relationship at all ! He respects me and we are really good friends because we know we can't be together
Hmm... your original question was "Im 15 Years Old In Love With A 21 Yr Old. Is It Bad If We Both Love Eachother?". You said you were 'in love' with him and implied many times that he showed a romantic interest in you also.
Now people are starting to express concern for you and this "relationship" and it does seem like you are trying to cover his back because you have realised that it's wrong. If that is what you are doing then please don't waste our time like that, be honest - its not like any of us can trace this guy or care to waste our time doing so!
Saying that, however... I think I understand your situation... are you saying that you and a 21 year old guy both FANCY each other but are not in a relationship?
If so then as long as no relationship occurs, there is nothing wrong with that. Even if you were in a relationship there'd be nothing illegal unless sexual activity took place.
However I doubt your usage of the word "love". It takes a proper relationship, and time, to fall in love. I think what you are describing is a crush. I had a massive crush on someone 5 years older than myself when I was 12. I thought I loved him. Then I fell in love for real, and I laughed at myself for thinking I loved the other guy. Honestly, you aren't in love at this point. One day you will realise that, when you fall in love with someone.
I know that there is no telling you that now, but one day you will realise that I, and the other people on this thread, are right.
I also know there's no point saying that in a few months time you'll probably be totally over this and consider yourself a bit of a prat for making a deal out of it this way, and the two of you will either no longer know each other or no longer fancy each other.
Since I know there's no point trying to convince you of this, I am going to compromise with you.
Wait for a few years (2 or 3 at least), and if you still feel the same way, then, and ONLY THEN the age gap will no longer matter.