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View Full Version : My Partner and I don't love each other,what do I/we do..


pearl10
Mar 24, 2011, 05:05 AM
I guess you could say it was a very rushed relationship.. we met in May 2008 and she almost immediately fell pregnant.. we were more in lust than in love I guess.. I was very strong and took it like a man should,and said we will have to work it out.. We got on good for a while,and then things started to get not so good.. I know she probably realised she did not love me when our daughter was around 2,and I now know that I do not love her,and I know we are both staying together for our daughter,but that is making me very unhappy,and I guess also her.. I really long to be with someone that needs me and wants and loves me,and I know and have first hand experience that she does not any of those.. we have had some serious fights,and she has tried to throw me out,and she gets very degrading and abusive towards me.. I have given up everything for her from the start to ensure that our daughter had the best start in life.. I really don't think I can live much longer like this,but I am so scared to lose my daughter.. but does that mean I should be always lonely and not have love in my life?
I crave to find someone that can love me,and someone I can get to know fully before I take a leap into the relationship,because I didn't get that chance now..
How can we remain as good parents to our daughter while we both try to live new separate lives? Is it wrong that we both just part ways,and in time find new partners? I will always be my daughters father and I wll always be involved in her life,without doubt,but should I be unhappy and stay in this pointless relationship to fully ensure that remains the way?
Please help me decide..

talaniman
Mar 24, 2011, 08:34 AM
The decision is yours to go or stay, and only time will tell how committed to what's in the best interest of your child you both will be. Right now you can only see things through the filter of your own emotions, which no doubt, are as intense as the lust that got you together. What's done is done however, and there can be no changes, just adjustments going forward That allow you both to be good parents, for the innocent life you created, and that's the priority whether you go, or stay.

I strongly advise that you handle your business, and put the child first, and that means make sure you are responsible about finances, insurances, and whatever else the child needs. That's your responsibility, so deal with it. Also if you and the lady cannot agree on how, and what those responsibilities include, the court looks most favorably on men that are willing to put the best interests of the child first, over the emotional needs and wants of the adults.

Once you start getting your ducks in a row, and handle your responsibilities wisely, and diligently, I think you will find that your options, and opportunities to make a good decision based on facts, and not just feelings will improve greatly.

Or you can diddle d1ck around, and let situations, and circumstances rule you, and distract you from doing the right thing, and having the right actions to accomplish your #1 priority, being a great parent. Ultimately its YOUR decision to make, so deal with the obstacles to get to the real goals that have to be accomplished.

To be a great parent, you have to be healthy and happy, and give that to your child. With, or without the mom.

Good luck with your decision.

lostinthedesert
Apr 4, 2011, 11:46 AM
Sounds like you have one foot out the door already. If you can't make it work than don't stay together for the kid sake it only makes it worse. This isn't the 50's no one stays together anymore which is horrible in itself but than again who wants parents that hate each other... I think you know what you need to do

pearl10
Apr 8, 2011, 02:29 AM
Yeah I know what you mean.. But I have a serious thought about this and I reckon this might do for a while, I know we have grown too far apart now, and she has absolutely no affection,love or anything like that for me, and since a long time now, as in well over a year, she won't even touch me, and I we have even went over 3months without ANY sexual contact, because she has no interest, not even a Kiss! As of now we do sleep in the same Bed, BUT our daughter sleeps in between us.. So if anything is to change soon, I reakon I will just sleep in the spare room, and I reckon we can live with each other as parents, but that's it.. And realistically, that's what we have beeen doing for a long time now.. I would probably wait until my daughter is a bit older to actually move out completely.. As of now, I feel like I am in an Arrangement, and that we are parents to our daughter, so not much will change I guess.. As for meeting other people, we are both wise and not stupid in this matter..