View Full Version : Legal help for a ex friend that is threatining to sue me
anaikin
Mar 22, 2011, 10:11 AM
I am trying to seek some information in regards to suing.
My dilemma I had a general friend nothing more he lives states away and we had talked about trying to start a long distance relationship. We talked on the phone and through text message allot. I recently moved and he opted to help me which was cool at the time (so I thought). Anyhow while helping me move his truck broke down so the truck and UHAUL we had to leave behind in order for his friend and him to get back to where they lived in time for them to go back to work. I drove them all the way from NC to Chicago. We spent a total of three days together and it wasn't even "together" I only made out with him! Well after leaving Chicago I had to go back to NC to get my UHAUL so in the process I though since it was closer for him to drive to Iowa where I had just moved to, to get his stuff so I asked what all he needed out of his truck. He said only his tool box so I packed it along for the ride. On my way back I got a disturbing text that asked me if I would ever let him love me the way he wanted to... so I acted as though I never got it and kind of played it off. (This was obviously a bad idea)
Throughout the week the messages continued... well finally I explained to him he was being way too needy and I was too busy for him. By the end of the week he drove and picked up his toolbox and the GPS we had used for the trip from my address.
I had a phone that had broken during the trip in Chicago and he had brought me one of his old ones which I continually kept telling him I didn't need. When he left he had left behind a phone and a small GPS on my dresser. The next week he was then demanding again that I meet him... well again I just got a new job so told him there was no way I could.
I felt as though he was acting kind of psycho wanting to meet me and see me and because I had allot going on I told him I couldn't. Well he didn't like that so much begin texting me things giving ultimatums and causing me a true headache. When he finally started cursing me and trying to mentally belittle me I told him goodbye.
After not responding he continued texting me... sending me pictures of a ring he got for me and how I need to come down to pick out a bedroom set and how he is sorry.
Now because I haven't responded to him in over two weeks he is sending me text messages repeatedly telling me he wants his stuff back. I don't want anything to do with him he is psycho and I don't have the patience, money or time to send him the damn GPS. By the time I get off work the Post Office is closed. Yesterday alone in an hour period I received over 77 text messages the first were threats he could be an *******, this was going to get nasty, then he sent me a song and even another message of a ring telling and how beautiful it would have looked, and how he could auto text and the messages could go on 24/7, to ensure that my phone received so many that it wouldn't even turn on.
Now today I received a threat that his lawyer was to serve me papers by Friday if he doesn't get it. He even followed up with a voicemail to ensure I received his text message. My question is do I even have to deal with him. I didn't ask for the things he left nor was there a borrowing agreement or anything. Do I really have to mail this crap and spend money on a tracking number for two items that isn't even worth 200 dollars? I really just think he is doing all this to continue trying to communicate with me.
JudyKayTee
Mar 22, 2011, 10:15 AM
This is too long and much too irrelevant to read.
The legal answer is, no, you don't have to be harassed by this person. Take your phone and the messages/texts, whatever, to the Police and tell them he is harassing you.
If you have some of his belongings, yes, you have to deal with him and, yes, you "probably" will have to give them back.
The same with him.
Let him sue you (and he has to sue where YOU live, not where he lives), countersue for the return of your things and harassment (if the Court will take the harassment claim) and then go to Court with proof.
anaikin
Mar 22, 2011, 10:40 AM
Sorry for the long story but I just wanted to ensure that I got enough details to explain that I never lead him on, or even asked for anything. I tried going to the oldest messages he has sent but because he blew my phone up yesterday I only have recent text messages.
Within the few seconds of posting he has again text me saying that now he has spoke to Jeaneane whoever that may be... and he is going to "include the gps, phone, and any paperwork pertaining to his truck or credit card so i can send that money as well" The only thing besides gas that he used his credit card for was a towing fee $100 from my insurance company for roadside assistance when his truck broke down.
I rented the Uhaul, paid in cash but because I wasn't the driver he had to put it in his name. The uhaul storage fee for it staying in NC an extra 4 days I paid at the time of pickup. As well as his towing fee in cash to move the truck to a dealership which I do have that receipt for.
Ill send his GPS and Phone back I don't use the GPS, but the phone is what has his text he sent me on it. However, I sure as hell can't send it anytime this week at least not till sat...
But can he really charge me for helping me move? I didn't have allot of money and he initiated to whole idea to help me move, there was no verbal agreement to pay anything back for his gas spent in the first place?
Again I apologize for the inconvenience but he is really getting on my last nerve. I need to know legally what he really is trying to do.
JudyKayTee
Mar 22, 2011, 10:52 AM
He'd be on MY last nerve, too. Unless you had an agreement (written or oral) you owe him nothing.
Sounds like he moved you, thought there would be a relationship, there is not and so he wants to be paid.
You owe him exactly nothing. He can, of course, sue but I don't see that he will win.
And I'd still report him to the Police.
anaikin
Mar 23, 2011, 07:50 AM
Thank you so much for your help thus far... I went to the Police Station yesterday when I got off but of course as usual everything is closed (even the police station)!! I am not letting up though I am going on my lunch break today!! Since I posted yesterday with you I have received more text messages. " I would really suggest you telling me when my stuff is going to be here because if I spend money to file and you send the stuff back I'm still going to make you come up to go to court initially." then this morning "Not going to look the greatest for you when the private company I use to serve paperwork comes to your new job and serves you. Going to look real good for you. You think I'm joking about all of this but your wrong it will happen. Being ignorant this time is not helping you out!!" follwed by another message "This is the real world sweetheart, you can't run from your problems."
JudyKayTee
Mar 23, 2011, 08:00 AM
He certainly appears to have a lot of time on his hands! He is correct - he can have you served at work BUT (I own a process serving company) the process server will ask for you and hand you papers. Small Claims Court serves (usually) by mail so I would suspect he has no idea what he's talking about.
"... the private company he uses to serve paperwork ..."? What does he do, sue people on a regular basis? Sounds like he has his own personal process server. Laughable.
I suspect if he DOES eventually tire of text messaging you (which I am beginning to think will never happen) he will "take you to Court," at which time he will show even less control of himself than he's showing now and make a real jerk of himself.
He's getting on MY last nerve and I don't even know him! (thank goodness)
anaikin
Mar 23, 2011, 08:12 AM
Well I have dealt with legal in the Marine Corps for 10yrs but just got out. I have a vague idea how the process goes for small claims with a realtor over my ex husband years ago. So thank you for all the advice your giving me!
I really am unsure of how he knows where I work considering I have never told him! And we don't have any of the same friends!
I'm not worried about him getting his stuff back. I don't want the damn GPS I don't use it and I'm in a super small town so I know where everything is! However, I need the text messages off the phone!! My main gripe is not his stuff but the fact that I am having to take off work of find time to send it as well as spend money I work for on sending it to him. When I never asked for it... stated multiple times I didn't need it and he drove here and left it. Why the hell can't he drive back here get a police escort and come get it..? Convenient for me and he gets it all back!
Why do I have to be inconvenienced for him being psycho??
anaikin
Mar 23, 2011, 08:59 AM
Sorry for the inconvenience again but just got another text! "Jeanne wants your full name addy number dads number to give the server processors. I told her I would give you till mid afternoon to tell me then I'll give them the info." I know he has my best friends dad's number because I called him from it when my phone was broke. He has m address because he came and got his stuff. And Im pretty sure he has my Full Name but nothing else!
Not sure if this makes a difference but in order to understand what I am going through, I just want to reiterate I never had relations with him outside of a friendship and some kisses. (Dumbest thing I ever did because I thought he was really cool and genuinely a good person! I have only been talking to him for a little over three months... and I only have seen him the three days it took us to move my stuff and of course when he came here to get his toolbox!
anaikin
Mar 23, 2011, 09:16 AM
Well I have dealt with legal in the Marine Corps for 10yrs but just got out. I have a vague idea how the process goes for small claims with a realtor over my ex husband years ago. So thank you for all the advice your giving me!
I really am unsure of how he knows where I work considering I have never told him! And we don't have any of the same friends!
I don't want the damn GPS I don't use it and m in a super small town so I know where everything is! However, I need the text messages off the phone!! My main gripe is not his stuff but the fact that I am having to take off work of find time to send it as well as spend money I work for on sending it to him. When I never asked for it... stated multiple times I didn't need it and he drove here and left it. Why the hell can't he drive back here get a police escort and come get it..? Convenient for me and he gets it all back!
Why do I have to be inconvenienced for him being psycho??
anaikin
Mar 23, 2011, 09:17 AM
Sorry for the inconvenience again but just got another text! "Jeanne wants your full name addy number dads number to give the server processors. I told her I would give you till mid afternoon to tell me then I'll give them the info." I know he has my best friends dad's number because I called him from it when my phone was broke. He has m address because he came and got his stuff. And Im pretty sure he has my Full Name but nothing else!
Not sure if this makes a difference but in order to understand what I am going through, I just want to reiterate I never had relations with him outside of a friendship and some kisses. (Dumbest thing I ever did because I thought he was really cool and genuinely a good person! I have only been talking to him for a little over three months... and I only have seen him the three days it took us to move my stuff and of course when he came here to get his toolbox!
anaikin
Mar 23, 2011, 12:47 PM
Damn another two and its not even the end of the day.. Sorry for typing so much but I am really just in question over his thought process of suing. It doesn't make too much sense to me. So please bare with all the posts in case someone can give me more insight. Thanks!:
"LOL, I'm down to cook ya dinner this weekend. Watch out though, guarantee your'e gonna fall in love with it and I'm not cooking you dinner that often!"
"OOps my bad, no I'm not cooking for you! I am bout to type an email and send it though. You're making this one huge problem that it doesn't need to be. Oh wel your choice."
southamerica
Mar 23, 2011, 01:11 PM
Listen, anything he's texting at this point is just bait he's trying to use to get you to talk to him. If you're serious about getting him off your back, then stop responding to it and stop worrying about it.
You know what you need to do to make sure he has no leverage over you, and that's to make sure you get his stuff back to him. Who cares if it's not your fault you have it or not-you either get it back to him or you continue dealing with his ridiculous antics. I had an old friend do the same thing to me with some of her personal belongings (that she left at my house), and I just ate the cost of returning the items because I didn't want to deal with her silliness. It's your choice.
Did you go to the cops over lunch and report the harassment?
JudyKayTee
Mar 23, 2011, 01:13 PM
I worked the road and just got back. Keep this text messages. The threats to notify/call/serve friends and relatives are harassing (minimally) and threatening. He is sounding more and more like a - what is the medical term? Oh, I know - nut job.
This is a good reason why no one should ever kiss a frog - and I know. I kissed a few frogs.
I would continue to ignore his texts with the hope that he keeps sending them and they get more and more bizarre.
You can always retain an Attorney and go after him that way - but it would be expensive.
Who is Jeanne who needs your number to give it to the "service processors"? Too bad it's not a good idea to contact him because it's PROCESS SERVERS.
I needed the laugh. Keep biting your lips and hope he gets more bizarre.
anaikin
Mar 23, 2011, 01:28 PM
Yes ma'am.
I stopped by the police department and well since it's a small one they have to send a patrol dispatcher so that's why they seem closed everyday when I get off. I talked to the lady at the front desk and she said just tell dispatch is a non emergency and the issue and they will just call someone to initiate the report. Because I didn't have that long I will go after work and sit and wait. Thanks again and thank you for the Advice. I am bitting my tongue the last thing I ever said to him was multiple times which are recorded in my sent items as "Good Bye, Justin!"
I also updated my friends Dad to not give any information out or respond to anything he may receive. Due to him having the number.
Ill give you an update as they come in but I will try not to bombard the page. Thanks Again!
anaikin
Mar 23, 2011, 01:33 PM
Yes ma'am.
I stopped by the police department and well since it's a small one they have to send a patrol dispatcher so that's why they seem closed everyday when I get off. I talked to the lady at the front desk and she said just tell dispatch is a non emergency and the issue and they will just call someone to initiate the report. Because I didn't have that long I will go after work and sit and wait. Thanks again and thank you for the Advice. I am bitting my tongue the last thing I ever said to him was multiple times which are recorded in my sent items as "Good Bye, Justin!"
I also updated my friends Dad to not give any information out or respond to anything he may receive. Due to him having the number.
Ill give you an update as they come in but I will try not to bombard the page. Thanks Again!
anaikin
Mar 23, 2011, 01:44 PM
Yet again, another text... "Do you want to be cc'd on this email?"
anaikin
Mar 23, 2011, 02:49 PM
Yet again, 7 min after the same text was sent again."You want to be cc'd on this email?" (it wasn't "You.." as quoted below! Sorry! Ugh.. seems like I get text every time I try to find time a quick brief moment at work. I can't believe he wrote that question. It's the one I'd really like to snap back and respond too! I can't wait till I get off and hed to the police station and finally get this documented legally.. just a few more hours! I am receiving what I hope will be the last of text from him today or at least it sounds like it. "Well ok then. Email is sent. Too bad you think I'm joking with this and are too ignorant to send a text or leave a voicemail. This all could have been avoided with one of those simple things but you just don't care, since you don't care so much I'm just going to tell Jeanne tomorrow morning at our meeting that way they can proceed with things tommorrow. Such a shame things ended like this. Oh well. Nice getting to know the fake" you!
JudyKayTee
Mar 23, 2011, 05:14 PM
He's certainly trying to goad you into losing your cool. As long as you're not responding he's just blowing smoke.
He is also... nuts.
smoothy
Mar 24, 2011, 04:53 AM
I'll also side with... don't take his bait. Don't delete the messages. In some states there are laws against cyber-bullying. Don't delete them as they can be used against him if it should ever escalate to that level.
Are he has arguably reached that level already.
Evidence is your friend... and that's very good evidence.
JudyKayTee
Mar 24, 2011, 07:49 AM
I'm waiting for today's update!
anaikin
Mar 24, 2011, 08:24 AM
Ok instead of updating you on the 6 texts I received last night and the book I have received again this morning suggesting we meet for lunch half way...
I have the report it states that the last contact I had with him was on the 15th when I told him Good bye and I didn't have time for him or his criticism and I was going to take my 30 yr old single a** down the road and continue to live drama and stress free! After that he has contacted me continuously with photos of rings songs from his kid and then threats to sue me and make this situation nasty. None of which I have responded too.
Because I don't want any contact with him or have time to put forth nor am I going to make time and spend my money to send his GPS which he left on my table, and the old phone he gave me because mine was broke to him. What all would I need to have if in fact he does take me to court?
JudyKayTee
Mar 24, 2011, 08:31 AM
You would need to counter whatever he sues you for. For example, he claims oral agreement. You WRITE DOWN AND REMEMBER (be well prepared) all the reasons there was NO oral agreement to pay him. He claims you refuse to return his GPS. You take it to Court with you, you hand it to the bailiff, the bailiff hands it to the Judge. Same with anything else. You explain that you have been receiving ranting texts from him and so you wanted NO contact - you felt that if you responded in any way he would step up the harassment. You remain calm (and you do explain yourself very well) and let him rant and rave. You take ALL of your text messages and anything else he's sent to Court with you. He files for whatever he's going to file for; you file for harassment (and that will depend on what else he does). For example, if he DOES contact someone else (your employer, your parents) then you bring THEM to Court with you. He knows how to reach you (as witnessed by the text messages). Anything else he does is totally unnecessary - and harassment.
I don't think he has a case and I don't think he'll remain cool. Any case he does have, he will blow!
Meet for lunch half way? Sure. Good idea. Notify your next of kin in case you never come back from lunch. Can I come, too?
Love it!
anaikin
Mar 24, 2011, 09:58 AM
Ok thanks will do! For humoring purposes, I will now update you as the text and missed calls continue...
I have now received,
"For some reason the more we talk about this I don't think I have the heart to pull the trigger. Please just send the GPS back so I don't have to."
As far as your statement above on if he claims I refused to return the GPS at this point he left it and if he wants it he can come back and get it Ill get a police escort to come meet him in order for the transaction to take place. That way a police official sees it happen and can be their in case he tries to even speak to me. Other than that I don't mind going to court to hand it over at all. I just am not going to try to find time nor send it to him where I have to pay money to track it so I can assure that he receives it. Is my logic legal? He is just in my eyes becoming more and more of a potential Ted Bundy case... If I have to deal with him at alll I would rather deal with him legally.
anaikin
Mar 24, 2011, 12:34 PM
Another update... " wish things would not have happened the way they did. I was going to suprise you with the ring and take you down south to see your mom."
?. My mom is in a Mausoleum in Alabama! He was going to surprise me by taking me to a camatary after he gave me a ring... When I have known him for just a little over 2 1/2 months or so! Even a little more creepy!
anaikin
Mar 24, 2011, 12:35 PM
Ooops *cemetery
JudyKayTee
Mar 25, 2011, 05:39 AM
Oh, good grief - yes, this guy is DEFINITELY strange. This is not a chat board and we will probably be told to take it to PM any time now but I had a friend whose boyfriend took her to the cemetery and proposed to her at the grave of HIS mother because he KNEW his mother would approve. "Creeped" her out.
I would suggest that the turn over of the GPS take place at the Police Station. My concern at this point if you mail it to him is he is going to claim it arrived in damaged condition.
Otherwise, keep on keeping on.