Dear all,
I usually refrain from writing things down about my feelings and making it public but here goes..
My boyfriend and I met over a year ago. He's 25 and I'm 28. He's a Gemini and I am Capricorn,( I somewhat believe in Astrology). I am deeply in love with this guy and he claims he loves me very much too.
The problem is that sometimes I find that we are not on the same page. He's charming, smart, caring, intellectual and focused, on the other hand, I find that he's impulsive, a bit selfish, and almost too laid back.

He makes me so angry sometimes, it sends me right over the edge. For instance, I get so angry when my expectations are not met. I hate being disappointed and when people are so random. I guess people have disappointed me so many times, in my childhood and in the past that I tend to blame him tremendously when we don't get to meet up or do things together. He asked me many times, why do I get so mad?
I really don't have the answers to this one, but I get mad when he doesn't understand where am coming from or agrees with me. It makes me frustrated. Sometimes we bicker on the phone, until the argument becomes explosive and he says something really derogotary that I just want to hang up the phone because I'm boiling! I sually say irrational things as well and he calls me negative and unsupportive, this hurts me so bad. I refuse to grasp the concept of negativity in my life.

To me the relationship has transitioned from a soaring height to depth, I feel like we go back and forth. WHen we first started talking it was so intriguing and adventurous, now we hardly talk on the phone for a good length of time. I'm so used to getting a text from him everyday, that now when I check my phone and he doesn't text me I get an instantaneous feeling of neglect and frustration, as if he doesn't care. He tells me he loves me everyday but I go back and forth with my feelings. Sometimes, I want to talk to him and sometimes I don't.

Another aspect in this relationship, that bothers me is dealing with the finances. I live on my own, pay my rent and my other bills. He lives with his parents, has a great job and makes excellent money. Sometimes, I share my stories with him of how much debt I'm in and I'm drowning. He listens to me but never does anything about it. Maybe I am being a bit unreasonable here, but I feel like sometimes he can at least help me a bit because we are in a relationship. I refuse to ask him for money because I feel vulnerable and needy.
I have a bad habit of making assumptions but I assume he's cheap at times.
The bottom line is that I'm 28 and I am at that stage in my life where I want someone to meet me half way, and sometimes, I don't know if my boyfriend is the one. It makes me so frustrated and angry sometimes, because I feel I deserve better..

LOL, what a coincidence as I am a Capricorn male who has been married to a Gemini female for more than 30 years, and I think we both learned, and agree that sometimes we back up, and shut up, when things get so emotionally explosive, and give each other time, and space to regroup BEFORE things get carried away, and come back when we are calm to work things out to the benefit of both of us.

I think what helps the most would be some very clear, and defined boundaries, and rules of good behavior so there is no assuming, or presuming from either of us. We have to know what we expect from each other, and who does what, and when, and have the time and space to do things our own way. While you are a starship, he is a steamboat.

Communications are vital if you expect to survive as a couple, because he definitely expects you to handle your own business, and as laid back as he may be, or seem to be, don't get him started, as he will surprise you with the depth of his carefully controlled emotions, especially when you are at the height of expressing yours. He is stubborn, and moves at his own pace, which will frustrate the hell out of you.

If it makes no sense to him, don't expect any enthusiastic support, but be prepared for resistance, or a whole lot of questions. And trust me on this one, you know nothing of him after just a year, but what you better know is that patience gets you a lot more then drama does. Love is loyalty with you both, and that's something to build on through honest, sometimes very blunt communications. He thinks ahead, and you think of now, listen and learn from each other, you are both right!!

So make up your mind, if you are in or out.

PS, my wife says run while you can, because though he may be a lovable teddy bear at times, he can be a very frustrating a$$ hole, especially when he knows he is right, which is all the time.

I think that if you feel so strongly about deserving someone better then you should break up. It's obvious he does things to annoy you, and you can't change the things he does. Only he can change himself. Maybe talk to him and see if he's willing to change the things that bother you, if he really loves you and wants to be with you he'll change, trust me. If you do really love him and want to stay with him, then you have to learn to live with those little things that bother you (if he doesn't change) Maybe you guys are just too different to be together, and maybe he's just not the one for you.
Hopefully everything works out for you :)
Goodluck!

From what your saying it doesn't sound like he cares all that much for you. I think you need someone you can talk to and who will show full interest in you. If you have high expectations find someone who can meet them or lower your expectations of others. I am the same way. I never have a good time because my expectations are always too high and no one can measure up. Just pray about it. It's not fun having expectations that will never happen so its best to learn to let them go and live in the moment. If you just approach the situation differently maybe your guy will talk more and want to be there for you. You know?
Hope this helped.

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to talaniman again.


PS, my wife says run while you can, because though he may be a lovable teddy bear at times, he can be a very frustrating a$$ hole, especially when he knows he is right, which is all the time.

I lol'd.

Woe... My husband is a gemini and I a capricorn as well... It was love at first sight... and now... three years later... I'm totally spent! We don't get along at all.. He totally has his own agenda and I am starting to grasp that and get my own. He's perfect in the eyes of everyone else... but we totally have a love hate relationship. It's a thin line between love and hate. He's very secretive... cocky... and can be very explosive. Capricorn and gemini rarely stand the test of time. I love him... but he's very ugly to me. I'm at the point of moving on. Im beautiful, talented, educated an awesome wife and awesome mom... He takes it for granted! Run, Run, ruuuuuuuun!! Good thing your NOT married. You got it going on. Don't let him bring you down like I did one kid later... Its easier when its just you"!!