Hello! I really don't know what to do? So I'm hoping you could help me? I've been together with my husband for 3 years now... We have a little son who has just turned 1.. In the beginning everything was great I was in love with my husband and he was in love with me.. When I got pregnant he was happy and so was I..

But a year ago when my son was around 3 months old everything has changed.. He started calling me things and one month later even hitting me.. I need to add that I've never cheated on him or anything he told me he doesn't leke when I speak to other guys, not even when someone asks where the certain street is.. I told him no worries and so I've stopped talking to guys.. When I'm shopping and some guy is asking me a question, I leave without saying a single word, just like he told me.. I've lost all my male friends because of that.. But that was okay for me as long as my husband was happy..

I've always wanted to be a good wife, so I stopped thinking about what makes me happy.. I clean, I'm handwashing, I cook as well as I can.. But he's always angry.. Everything I do is wrong and I'm always an idiot.. I'm taking care of his son.. And when I ask him to be with him for ten minutes while I go to the store, he hits me tells me I'm a bad mother and more... I cry every single day.. When I'm sick he tells me I'm faking and last time after he hit me in my chest.. I fell down and was lying on the floor and he just left me there.. Thank God my son was at the daycare..

I always forgive him because he's my son's father.. And when we're not fighting.. Well it comes out to be an hour a week( about 20 minutes every other day) I 'm not happy.. He hits me in front of my son who's now as the doctor told us has ADHD.. I can't take it anymore.. When we meet someone we know he acts like he loves us more than anything in the world.. And I know that he loves our son but not if he loves me.. I've noticed now that my feelings have started to go away.. I still do everything for him of course and I'm faithful..

But well.. He has a childhood friend and I've met him when I was dating my husband... I know he has feelings for me and I know that he knows that me and my husband have problem( not because my husband told him but because he feels it when he sees me) I've become a mess.. He's in jail right now for the thing that he and my husband did together.. He took resposibility for everything and my husband didn't say anything.. his friend did that so that I wouldn't stay alone with a little baby.. The last time I saw him in court I knew that I love him.. He's going to come out this summer and I'm going to see him a lot..

But what should I do? Just lock in all of my feelings? Tell his friend about my feeling? And my husband? I'm lost... By the way I know that my friend would never tell me that he has feelings for me while I'm with my husband.. He's waiting for me and I know that.. I 'm just.. I'm messed up and lost.. Please help me!! I'm so sorry it turned out this long but please what would you do? What should I do?? Thank you for reading this..

First things first.

Your ONLY priority should be for the safety of your son. Because that is compromised already by him witnessing abuse from his father, it is important to put him at the top of your priority list and do the right thing. Get out of the marriage. Protect your son who will most certainly (if not already) will also become a victim of abuse. You can stop that.

There is no question that you need to establish, through a lawyer, a legal separation. Please seek assistance through a women's organization if you have to for help and referral, to assist you.

It is not, in my opinion, a good idea to wonder about feelings you have for your husband's friend. You are in no position to even consider a new relationship, until you unravel and deal with the abuse you have sustained, and the unnatural lifestyle that abuse has put you in.

Only when you are independent, and regain yourself, and you and your son are in a safe place managing on your own, should you consider another man in your life. I'm not talking years here, but saying no man in the shadows until you are established.

Again, my opinion is that you should find a way, likely via a women's shelter, to leave. Counselling will help you understand what your marriage has done to you, and help you recover to a point where you know and can clearly recognize the abuse you endured, and how you put your son at risk by staying.

Princess, I know what Jake said is hard to hear, however, her advice is the best option.

A one year old child being diagnosed with ADHD is a red flag that HE feels the tension and upset in the house. I highly doubt you were honest with his doctor about your husband's abusive behavior. If you were, it might change the diagnosis.

Your husband has already hit you in the chest hard enough to put you on the ground. Do you want to end up in the hospital? Do you really want to rely on a man who loves his son so much that he won't watch him for ten minutes to care for him full time?

If your child is in daycare, does that mean you work outside the home?

Please seek help. Know that we will be here to give you what advice we can as you go through each step, but you have to take the steps.

Stop forgiving him and start taking care of yourself and your child.

Forget the distracting notion of feelings for another. You have a much more pressing problem at home that needs to be addressed first and foremost. Your openly abusive husband.

Get the heck out of his life and keep him out, and stay away from any romantic relationship whatsoever, so you can heal properly and get your head together for yourself and your son. Jumping from one situation with a abusing loser, to what you THINK has to be a better loser, is pure folly.

No matter what, you should stay within the boundaries of good behavior, as you solve your number one problem, an abusive spouse. Lets be real, ANYTHING would look good to you right now, even a handsome jail bird who broke the law. After all, you just want to be a good wife, which seems to do you no good at present. Your son (and you) benefits from you solving your real problems, instead of making new ones don't you think??

I think the only reason you are considering feelings for this fellow is to escape from thinking of your real problems anyway, right??

Thank you all for your answers.. The thing is I'm scared.. My mother left me when I was a little girl, my dad is in jail.. My grandparents died in Chile last year.. I have two best friends but we can't see each other that often.. I don't think I'm strong enough to leave him.. And I know that is what I have to do.. I just don't think I'll make it on my own with a child?. I'm strong and I always knew that.. But now I have my doubts and I need to be 100% sure for my son's sake.. But I always think what if.. What if something happens to me? I hope you understand what I mean.. Cat1864: No, I didn't tell the truth to his doctor.. And yes, I do work or just started 2 weeks ago after maternity leave. TALANIMAN: well I don't think that is why I got those feelings.. It feels like I can depend on him some kind of way.. It feels as if me and my son would be safe if we had him in our lives..

TALANIMAN: well I don't think that is why I got those feelings.. It feels like I can depend on him some kind of way.. It feels as if me and my son would be safe if we had him in our lives..

You mean after he gets out of jail?? I think its more important to forget the what ifs and do for yourself, without depending on any one.

Yes.. Well you're right..

All due respect, but I know I am right as you have one idiot on your hands and I am sure you thought that was a good idea at the time, so now when you don't think that's working you have developed feelings for his buddy who is in jail, and it looks good, feels good, but yet again, may not be a smart move. So get your life straight for yourself, and think before you give in to all those feelings of wanting someone you think will make you safe and secure.

I mean the guys in jail still!! How in the world can he make you feel safe and secure?? I just don't get it. Seems to me your heart is just asking for more trouble.

Princess, I think part of you wants to see the friend as a knight-in-shining armor, but he isn't. He can't rescue you from your husband. It is something that you have to do.

There are support groups for abused women. There are resources out there to help you. Reach out to them and find your own footing. You will be able to prove to yourself that you are that strong woman and mother.

I know you are afraid of the unknown. However, it has to better than where you are right now.

Get in contact with the friends you have had to give up over the past year. Start talking to people whether they are male or female. I bet you can't chose who you talk to at work, can you?

Find yourself again. You will be much happier and healthier and it will help your son.