Many years ago I fell in love with a friend; he never showed any interest in me other than friendship. I kept my feelings to myself. That was 21½ years ago. In July 2010, this man called me out of the blue. We talked for hours, he asked me to meet for coffee or a drink. I agreed to meet him on Friday July 24th, he canceled. We talked for a few more weeks and he asked me if we could meet to go to the movies, I agreed. I explained to him that I was living with the father of my boys if he knew that. He said he did not but it was okay because he just wanted to meet as friends. We went to the movies and after stopped at McDonald's for coffee.

During our conversation I asked him if he was committed to anyone and he said no he was divorced and had been living with his younger daughter for 2½ years, but she was now moving in with her Mother. He would never take me to his house or pick me up; we always had to meet somewhere. I though wow, how nice to meet a man that cares and respects his daughter. He doesn't take any one home because he lives with his daughter. I thought him so special. For 2 months he gave me all this talk about how he was a good Dad, his ex-wife cheated on him but he never let the girls know this. How he did this and he did that all for his daughters. He still would go do things for his ex, because of his oldest daughter living there. I was okay with it.

Until September 19th, my world came crashing down. I got a call from his wife, yes his wife. Not an ex according to her. I called him and he made some excuses about how he was divorced and how she was just making things up. I still believed in him. I told him you better check because she is so sure you are not divorced. He told me he checked and it is true, she never filed the papers and he thought she did. They had the same lawyers etc, etc. He said he tried to file but now she will not give him the divorce, he is currently going to court for civil matter. He tells me now, he cannot file because she is holding that against him and his lawyer says he has to try at home. After the trial he will get his divorce.

I lost all trust in him, because now that he moved back into her home I am paying attention to every little detail and things just don't add up. Now I lost all faith and trust in him. The sad part is I still love him. Although I live with the father of my boys, I was honest with him and explained before we went any further with our friendship I had to tell him I still loved him from the first time we were friends and he walked away without a goodbye. He just left one day and never called me or told me why. He just walked away from our friendship, I told him my feelings and not to play games if he was committed to walk away now, because I want so much more my agreement with my live-in was that I would only stay until my youngest son graduates from high school in May of 2011. He explained that he was okay with my arrangement. I told him I could not share him if he was committed to someone else. I was blunt.

I asked him to leave my heart alone if he had other commitments. He swore he didn't. I told him that my feelings never left my heart; I felt that he was my soul mate. I really thought I was not doing anything wrong on my end, since I was honest with him and my live in knew I was leaving. I offered to walk away before May if he was serious about us. He told me not to ruin my relationship with my children. I though and fell more in love with him for being so caring.

That was before I found out he was married. Now he makes all kinds of excuses and lies to me about little things. He thinks they are little things but to me they are huge. Like moving back into her home (if he ever left at all like he claims). Not calling me for days, when his daughter was in the hospital. I feel he could have still called me. If he had nothing to hide. I am very open at home with my relationship. I was taking his calls no matter who was around. I was not hiding or sneaking round. He makes me sound like I am the one asking too much, and not understanding his daughter was ill. I feel he can still over us both and care for both of our feelings. He was not at her bed side 24 hours a day. He could have taken 5 seconds to tell me she was okay. I worried that the worst had happened and was so scared for him and her.

I tried to end this relationship but do not know how to. If he doesn't call me, I leave him alone. The problem is, when his wife and daughters go to do their own thing, he is lonely and he calls me. He uses me, I know that, but I love him deeply and I go to him.

How do I end this and make him understand?

He made a statement that woke me up, he said you are living with him, what's the difference? He was right I had no claim on him or how he moved back in with her since I was living with someone too. But I was always honest with him, he didn't tell me he moved in she did except she said he always lived there. That he wanted to save his marriage. And she wanted to know if I was going to stand in her way. I told her no, not to get the divorce because of me. I never told her I loved him. I didn't want to be the cause of their divorce.

Now, 6 months later we are still seeing each other (only when he wants of course). But, I feel guilty. I keep begging him not to call me, that I can leave him alone if he leaves me alone. But, when his wife is seeing her boyfriend (they had an open marriage before me) he calls me.

How do I get him to leave me alone and me to stay away from him.

I blocked my phones but he has my worker number.

I really want to give his wife a chance to save their marriage. I do not want to be the reason they divorce.

I love him enough to let him go.

If anyone has a solution, please help.

Mistakes out of love�

What a piece of trash.. I'm sorry missy, but you got this the wrong way.

You say you love him enough to let him go- what you should be doing is love yourself enough to kick this arse to the curb. He's absolute rubbish, he's dishonest, he uses you, he plays you for a fool.

You've been upfront and honest the whole time, he's been lying to your face throughout your entire relationship, and what I think bothers me the most is that his lies are so easy to see through, and yet you believe him. (because you want to?)

All right so you blocked his number, second step should be hanging up each time he calls you at work, or if you know it's him don't even accept the call. And if he doesent get the picture then you file for harassment.

This turd needs to be separated from your life, not to mention his own wife should leave him as well.

Once you have gone NC (no contact) keep it. Because if you get a setback interacting with him again he might get his slimey hands on you, and entangle you in his web of lies even further..

You know what your solutions are if you get as honest with yourself as you got with your boyfriend and with him. He has an open marriage, whatever the hell that is, but don't forget, you promised his wife you would step aside. KEEP YOUR WORD!!

Don't be dishonest like he is, then you will be everything you said he is, that you dislike. End it, as you are both cheating on yourselves now.

Guess who gets hurt? You? Him? No the innocent children who watch what the people they love are doing to each other.

That's right, they see what the adults are doing, so what do you think they will do in the future?

Be a better example than that! You both have life and BS all mixed up.

What a piece of trash.. i'm sorry missy, but you got this the wrong way.

You say you love him enough to let him go- what you should be doing is love yourself enough to kick this arse to the curb. He's absolute rubbish, he's dishonest, he uses you, he plays you for a fool.

You've been upfront and honest the whole time, he's been lying to your face throughout your entire relationship, and what i think bothers me the most is that his lies are so easy to see through, and yet you believe him. (because you want to?)

Alright so you blocked his number, second step should be hanging up each time he calls you at work, or if you know it's him dont even accept the call. and if he doesent get the picture then you file for harassment.

This turd needs to be seperated from your life, not to mention his own wife should leave him aswell.

Once you have gone NC (no contact) keep it. because if you get a setback interacting with him again he might get his slimey hands on you, and entangle you in his web of lies even further..

You said it all!