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PhilTayz
Mar 12, 2011, 05:06 PM
Ok from where should I start.
First of all I would like to thank everybody that answered my last question for... answering.
But I've 2 more problems that are really getting me down. I know everybody has problems and they need to solve them by their own sometimes (believe me, I've tried) but these ones are getting really out of control.
1- My self-image.
People have always made fun of me because of my big ears. At first it annoyed me because I thought nobody liked me thanks to them but then in 1 trip to France I realised that I wasn't so ugly as I considered myself to be so I relaxed. But recently that old feeling is back. Way worse. My mates keep calling me "Dumbo" and ugly but I actually don't care about that. What annoys me is that now I can't stop looking at the mirror and do that job for them. When I was walking home I passed by 2 girls who were talking really loud and as soon as I passed by them they started whispering and laughing and that annoyed me so much... and now whenever I can I look at the mirro and start saying to myself "I am ugly; my ears are big; my face is too oval; I'll never get anybody" and stuff like that while I stare at myself to see how I look while I say it.
Is there anyway I can control this?

2- My family.
This one is oubviously the hardest one. Basically, my family doesn't give a damn about me. I know you probably hear this a lot from young kids but stay tuned and you'll find out what I mean.
Since my grandmother died I've been down. I mean really down. I used to solve my own problems by myself and I still trying to but it gets harder and harder. On the last year I was going down on my school performance and they took me to a professional to see if he could motivate me. He said them to reduce a bit on my study time and buy me a boxing sack so that I could relax.
They said they would do that. The hell they did! They didn't do anything. Just told me to study, study and study and threatened me if I didn't.
About a week or too I was really bad and I laid at 7 p.m. when I usually spleep at 11. I think I was actually crying and they saw me doing it. Guess what they did? They sat next to me and said "You have 5 minutes to get up and go studing". Cool, huh?
So the only escape I see is either go out with friends or chat/play with them on my computer. But my parents realised something very quickly: If I'm out with friends, I can't study!
It's OK then. I can go out for 1 hour and then come back home to study. Really this is killing me!There are times where you just want to hear an adult say "It's okay, kid, you'll see." but nothing happens...

QLP
Mar 13, 2011, 02:27 AM
1. Yourself image. Spend a little time looking at other people instead of in the mirror. Firstly it can be quite interesting, but secondly you will notice that not many of us are perfect. Go to any everyday kind of place such as a shopping mall and notice how many people with partners and friends you see, and how much less than perfect most of them are. Doesn't stop most people from having great relationships so there is no reason why it should stop you.

2. The parents. They wouldn't be putting the effort in to trying to keep you studying and taking you to a professional if they didn't care. They are probably spending a lot of time worrying about your future and trying to help you do all that you can to make that a good one. The only problem is that sometimes parents can get so caught up in this that they forget how you feel in the present. Parents aren't perfect either. They probably don't realise how down and stressed you feel. Try talking to them, not about what you think they are doing wrong, but about the problems you are having and how you actually feel. Try and get them on board with helping you rather than having a battle. If that sounds too hard at the moment is there another adult you can have a chat with, a school counsellor perhaps?

PhilTayz
Mar 16, 2011, 01:20 PM
Ok guys this is really getting out of control and I don't know what to do anymore.
Anywhere I go there is always someone making fun of me just because I have big ears or something else. Today I was walking down a street and two guys started making dumb and horse sounds as I passed by. A little bit further I passed by three girls when one of them shouted "Look at that one!" and then they started whispering and laughing.
And I tried to follow your advice "go to shoping and see how we are not perfect and how we still having great relationships"... Yea but I can't compare myself to others. They have friends with them and even my friends sometimes makes fun of me.
It isn't also a matter of confidece because even when I'm really high there's always something that brings me all the way back down like what happened today.
I don't know what to do anymore and I don't know for how much longer I'm going to be able to stand this.
And I'm serious... I need help!

williamtch
Mar 16, 2011, 01:55 PM
Just think to yourself so what if they laugh you isn't going to live with them are you I got stuff like that because of my size its people acting like kids that's all just ignore them what I do is walk and think of song lyrics in my head from my fave tunes so you just switch of from everyone else and continue what you were doing

talaniman
Mar 17, 2011, 07:56 PM
It isn't also a matter of confidence because even when I'm really high there's always something that brings me all the way back down like what happened today.

You are very wrong, self confidence is everything, and what are you getting really high on? How old are you Phil?

The first thing you should know is that getting high has a consequence, that goes with the thrill. What goes up must come down, and most drugs and alcohol are depressants. Over time they will bring you down, without using them.

Lose the getting high, and deal with your issues with the mind, spirit, and soul that God gave you.

PhilTayz
Mar 18, 2011, 12:12 AM
And this is the problem of being a bad english speaker.
By saying I was "high on" I was referring to my confidence. I'm not in drugs or anything like that.

talaniman
Mar 18, 2011, 07:38 AM
Thanks for clearing that up, and glad you are not on that path.

Don't let your confidence get you TOO high though, that makes the lows seem even lower. I think its natural to be a bit confused about how best to handle your feelings, but get and stay humble so you can learn how to cope better whether you are high, or low.

We all go through that, so don't take the criticism of others so personally. Often people laugh, or criticize others so they can feel better about themselves. That too, is normal, for insecure people who are afraid to be laughed at, or criticized.

Eventually you will learn to take things in stride whether it's a great day, or a really lousy one.