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View Full Version : Help me with my vindictive ex... She's CRAZY


gazzduck
Mar 12, 2011, 01:07 AM
Hi my ex and I were together for ten years from 2001 to 2009 in which period we had two children who are now 5 and 2 our eldest sufering from autism. When we separated she was extremely nasty vindictive and erratic and said really nasty stuff about me pubically oin Facebook constantly stalking my home harassing friends and family etc after about 7 months of being sepaated we became on speaking temrs and decided to give it a second shot. I ended my lease @ my property and agreed to move in with her and reconcile well... after a very short period we split up again and now after lying to the police in a sworn affidavit saying I am abusive and vioilent toward her and our two children mentally ill and drug addicted alll of which I am not the court granted her an avo against me from seeing her or my two children I went to court to argue that the avo should not be in place against my children and me but that I was wuilling to have it in place against her seeing or contacting me and vice versa I was totally ignored by the court and her avo was granted. Sdhe repeatedly breeches conditions of the avo contacting me and harassing me at all hours I have documented proof of this and have been to the police to show them this but they say that there's nothing they can do for me.

This is doing my head in and I don't know what I should do everything I try to do always presents me a dead-end it seems she is lying and winning and although I have proof of the real truth I have not a leg to stand on HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME SOMEONE PLEASE IS THERE A SUPPORT GROUP OR SOMETHING I Don't KNW ABOUT THAT CAN PLEASE HELP ME

amicon
Mar 12, 2011, 03:11 AM
Have you been in touch with a solicitor/lawyer?

adviceishere
Mar 12, 2011, 03:48 AM
There is also a legal advice forum on this website with experienced experts ready to give they're input that may help you with that side of your problems, I suggest you use that forum also and this one for emotional help. :)

gazzduck
Mar 12, 2011, 03:48 AM
I can't afford a private slolicitor I have an appt with a legal aid rep to give me legal advice but that is not until April and they provide no legal representation

amicon
Mar 12, 2011, 04:00 AM
Post your question in the legal section also stating where you live and you should be able to get some good advice.

tickle
Mar 12, 2011, 04:01 AM
i can't afford a private slolicitor i have an appt with a legal aid rep to give me legal advice but that is not til april and they provide no legal representation

You will have to beg or borrow the money for a solicitor, gazz. It is the only way you are going to get a leg up with this problem. Legal Aid is the bottom rung; the advice they give is never really any good and what can you do with it anyway?

Tick

J_9
Mar 12, 2011, 04:57 AM
{moved to Family Law}

Cute_Girl_4_Eva
Mar 12, 2011, 06:25 AM
Go to another country and if u love the children so much take them with u that's the best way to forget about it all and start a 2nd life

J_9
Mar 12, 2011, 06:59 AM
go to another country and if u love the children so much take them with u thats the best way to forget about it all and start a 2nd life

What you are suggesting is against the law. It's called Parental Kidnapping.

This is one reason children like you should not be responding in the legal sections of the forum.

P.S. Site rules require the use of complete words and sentences. Chat/text speak is prohibited and, as such, all posts may be removed should this continue.

JudyKayTee
Mar 12, 2011, 07:59 AM
go to another country and if u love the children so much take them with u thats the best way to forget about it all and start a 2nd life


This is a legal forum, not a chat site. This is the third time I've asked you NOT to use text speak. At some point your posts are simply going to be removed.

Your advice is illegal. That aside, why don't you explain how this person is going to simply go to another Country with the children? I'd be interested in knowing how YOU think this can happen.

JudyKayTee
Mar 12, 2011, 07:59 AM
I don't understand how you have PROOF which is being ignored and she has MADE UP PROOF which is being heard.

Can you give an example or two of what she is alleging and what you can PROVE is false?

joypulv
Mar 12, 2011, 12:02 PM
We can't possibly know just how crazy and vindictive she is, or what proof you have that she is lying.
We can't possibly know that you are an ideal father.
(You did get back together with her after all her craziness, so a lot of your credibility is lost.)

Granted, parents get shafted in court all the time.
One reason: no lawyer.

As for skipping the country, of course it's illegal, but I know a woman whose ex took their child to Europe, never to be seen again. (Supposedly a small town who conspired in it's entirety to pretend the child wasn't there.)

JudyKayTee
Mar 12, 2011, 12:30 PM
"Joy," was this some time ago? Did the child have a passport? Now you can't even get on an airplane with a child without permission from the other parent.

ScottGem
Mar 12, 2011, 12:39 PM
First ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area. For example, I'm not clear what an "avo" is. It sounds like what we in the US call a restraining order or order of protection.

But I have to point out there are two sides to any story. If there is no evidence to support this avo why are the courts granting it?

tickle
Mar 12, 2011, 01:00 PM
Avo is 'apprehended violence order' not sure UK or Australia.

Tick

JudyKayTee
Mar 12, 2011, 01:11 PM
first ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area. For example, I'm not clear what an "avo" is. It sounds like what we in the US call a restraining order or order of protection.

But I have to point out there are two sides to any story. If there is no evidence to support this avo why are the courts granting it?


See my post, #11 -

amicon
Mar 12, 2011, 01:18 PM
avo is 'apprehended violence order' not sure UK or Australia.

tick

Ausralian I think,can't find any such thing here in the UK.

AK lawyer
Mar 12, 2011, 03:22 PM
... i was wuilling to have it in place against her seeing or contacting me and vice versa ...
...

That was a mistake. By saying that, you implied that you had in fact been guilty of what she was claiming you had done.


... ... sdhe repeatedly breeches conditions of the avo contacting me and harassing me at all hours i have documented proof of this and have been to the police to show them this but they say that theres nothing they can do for me.
...
Go back to court, prove what she has been doing, and ask to have the AVO lifted because she is ignoring it.

And at the same time, file a separate petition seeking visitation with your children.

AK lawyer
Mar 12, 2011, 03:30 PM
Ausralian I think,can't find any such thing here in the UK.

Australia. An AVO is mentioned here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apprehended_Violence_Order#Australian_apprehended_ violence_orders).

ScottGem
Mar 12, 2011, 03:39 PM
Ausralian I think,can't find any such thing here in the UK.

Why not let the OP answer for himself?

gazzduck
Mar 12, 2011, 05:41 PM
Wow guys fire up lol I was just after advice not an all out war on my post I get enuf war from my ex... thanks to all those who posted with constructive input but I want to keep it legal and as a good dad I wouldn't want to take my kids away from their mum,, even though she's def a nutter

gazzduck
Mar 12, 2011, 05:57 PM
Ak lawyer: that was a mistake. By saying that, you implied that you had in fact been guilty of what she was claiming you had done.

I'm in australia and avo stands for aprehended violence order (restraining order) for the record.
And I had no idea what to do when I went to court I've never done anything like this before. I was given 5 days from my summons date in which to seek legal advice which due to limited finances and limited time all I could get was via telephone from legal advice line. Their advice was to agree to the order staying in place but not to its conditions because I said I am afraid of her and her harassment also.
The legal advice line said that the order was their to protect us both and by doing this I would be protected also in the courtroom the judge asked if I sought legal advice I explained and he gave me a short break to liase with the "duty solicitor" provided at the court house he gave me the same advice as the legal advice line. Back int the courtroom shortly after the judge wouldn't listen to a word I said and enforced the order anyway based on evidence : an affidavit my ex filed with south australia police I was totally dumbfounded. I requested a further hearing to argue the conditions of the order but no date for a next court appearance was given and to this day I still haven't heard anything from the court but eeryday my ex harasses me some more

gazzduck
Mar 12, 2011, 06:18 PM
Okay I posted this for advice not to be attacked I know I'm a good dad I guess ull have to take my word for it if not go away!


A court may issue an AVO if it believes, on the balance of probabilities, that a person has reasonable grounds to fear personal violence, harassing conduct, intimidation, or stalking.

So no evidence required really just lies aka probabilities

Example: in a sworn affidavit my ex rold sa police that I was living with my parents 100kms away when I have physical proof I was renting and residing in a house in adelaide.

Example: on a night of a dispute ex told sa police the stuff I was storing in her shed did not belong to me that it was all hers. This was noted by the police and then in her sworn affidavit she acknowledged that it was my stuff and thst we had organised a time for me to collect it. Contradictory statements one a lie. Then when I did acquire my stuff back she told sa police in the affidavit that I broke and entered her property to do so, this is a lie as I had keys that she had given me and permission to collect it.

On the same day my ex went to court and was granted the avo I picked up my children from school thinking ex was working as she asked me to do so the day before then at 9 pm that same evening knowing full well the avo was in force the ex met me in a shopping centre to get the kids back at this point in time I was unaware of court proceedings or the granted avo but she was fully aware and clearly in breech I have no proof that I met her at the shopping centre but there is proof I collected the children from their school I just can't access this proof myself as I am banned from attending the places my children attend school in the avo

ScottGem
Mar 12, 2011, 09:27 PM
No one is attacking you. You are getting advice, but we have to look at both sides when giving advice.

JudyKayTee
Mar 13, 2011, 08:03 AM
No one here is going to say what you want to hear because you want to hear it - you asked for legal advice and that's what you got. None of it was personal, none of it was "aimed" at you.

gazzduck
Mar 13, 2011, 07:20 PM
So basically you all said what I've already heard GET A LWAYER! I simply can't afford this and I can't borrow for it so basically she wins because I got no money to defend myself against her lies :-(

And legal aid suck so they'll be wasting my time when I go there next month!

J_9
Mar 13, 2011, 07:24 PM
Try contacting a law school in your area to see if a student will help you with the paperwork.

joypulv
Mar 14, 2011, 05:53 AM
Yes, at least 30 years ago. I forget how time passes.

JudyKayTee
Mar 14, 2011, 04:19 PM
Joy - no problem. And, yes, laws have changed.

For OP - why do you think legal aid attorneys "suck"? I've seen some really good ones. If you are going in with that mindset you are making a mistake.

If I said all car mechanics suck it would be an unfair statement. I feel the same about "all legal aid attorney suck."

gazzduck
Mar 15, 2011, 06:13 PM
Even if leagal aid atorneys were good I'm not entitled to representation as there are no criminal charges associated with my case so all I'm entitled to is "advice"

JudyKayTee
Mar 16, 2011, 04:18 PM
Well, if your choices are advice from legal aid or nothing I think I'd take the advice from legal aid.