Hi,just been reading through some of the posts on here and some sound like my relationship with my partner,we have been together for 10 years I'm 25 going on 26 and he's 33 and it feels like he has lost interest in me. We started hot and heavy as you normally do at the start of the relationship but of course as the years went by it dulled abit which was fine we knew it would we didn't have to be making love all time to show that we love each other but having a healthy sex life is important too,

I've tried for awhile now to get the spice back in but he seems not to be intersted when we do make love of course its sweet and good and its special but I feel I need more from him and he just won't give we've discussed it a few times and it ends up with me in tears and he just goes to sleep he drinks regularly as well and I feel that he would rather spend time sitting up late drinking then being in bed with me being intimate, the only time we are really intimate is when we are going to make love and that's it yes we cuddle and kiss in bed but its more intimate when we are going to make love and when I get my monthlys I feel he avoids me and acts like I'm diseased

I've tried telling him we don't have to have sex all the time to be intimate but he doesn't get it we recently celebrated our 10 year anniversary and we didn't even make love that night we last did it last week after 2 weeks of nothing the longest its been is a month and when we did it was special but lasted only a few minutes and that was it for another week its so frustrating I thought it was because of my weight as I do have weight issues but a fat chick can still be able to do things in the bedroom because we've been together for so long I feel that he has lost interest in me and us and sex but he says that's not true he truelly loves me and I know he does but sometimes it doesn't feel like that, I'm unhappy and I cry a lot and he see's that but tells me that I'm over reacting and that there's no problem

I do really love him but I don't know what to do anymore when ever we are in bed I try and be intimate but he doesn't seem to be intersted he once said to me I go to bed to go to sleep that's why when we have sex we do it before bed not actually when we go to bed I try things and he just shrugs me off

So you were 15 when you started dating him, and he was 23. I assume that he was your first serious relationship.

Do you have children? Are you planning to marry this man? Do the two of you plan to live a long life together? Do you both work, and are independent in your own right?

What I'm getting at is, if you have a solid commitment to each other that includes, or could include a marriage, family, future, and your sex life, or the intimacy in your relationship is creating a problem for you, why not seek out counselling.

There could be many things that affect his lack of desire. When is the last time he had a physical. Is he stressed, are there a lot of obligations and pressures on his plate.

It is also something that he can't be pressured into. If he is rejecting sex for some reason, you making an issue of it, won't help.

I hope that you will provide more information, and perhaps more helpful responses will come.

Lack of sex doesn't mean a lack of love, but let me ask you is that the only way a man can love you? Is sex the only way to be intimate? How are you intimate with him? Is it always about you? Do you have a clue what his needs are? What are they?

You are not alone.. I am in the same boat. 11 years and BLA! Don't pressure him.. it will get worst. I feel for you because I know how you are feeling.. it is like dating a wall. I tried all the tricks.
But keep in mind that he does love you. It is just like being married.. It will be hard when you come to a conclusion that taking a break is the best thing.. I haven't done it yet.. but I know I have to so he can wake up and see what he is missing. That is the only way girl. Take a break with him and hopefully he will change and miss you more. Be strong and fight for love.

Hi all,
I am having roughly the same problem. I have been together with my boyfriend for 10 years and recently we have had many arguments and when he was angry he even said he doesn't find me attractive any longer, and that made me really upset.
So after making up , he swore he never meant what he said and he said that its just our relationship has got boring after so long but he still loves me, so he says.
Should I believe him?
Good luck all.