Im 19 years old, Im male and Im gay, I have some close friends and a very supportive but busy family who I see oddly, I study four days a week at college, and the days Im off I normally would spend in town with friends, but latley Ive somehow managed to push away most of my friends, cause arguments with family and watch my body weight spiral out of control, myself confidence has hit a low point, even though I aspire to be a model, I still think Im just not worth it anymore, I almost fell in love last year, but pushed him out of my life and he left my area, the college holds memories of this and I can't let go, Ive had lots of bad luck, Ive lost friends, lost the one guy I liked, and told myself Ill never been good enough, and Ive started to go to college, come home and lock myself away in my room, I just don't want to be with people, I want to be in my own bubble but Im afraid after a month of doing this Im watching my life go by, how can I stop the over worrying, move on and get back on the right path to gain my confidence ? Before its too late. Im afraid if I carry on the way I am, Im going to end up with nothing and my future is going to be something Im not, so yeah Im 19, alone, no confidence and Im broke. What happened to my life.

It sounds like you are so overwhelmed that you can't move on. I have a number of ideas that might help.

The first thing you need is someone to confide in who you trust - possibly more than one or two people. It sounds like although your family is busy, they are supportive. I think I would start with them. You have to force yourself not to close yourself off, too. When you hold your problems inside they become exaggerated and all-important. When you allow yourself to release them they loosen their hold and importance.

As difficult as it may be, surround yourself with positive people. Find a way of giving of yourself to others through a charity, church group, etc. It's difficult to feel bad when you are giving to people less fortunate that you. It just helps to put it all into perspective.

I know it sounds stupid, but seriously - look at yourself in the mirror every day and tell the person you see something good about themselves. Start a journal and at the end of every day briefly (or more in depth) write 3 things that made you feel good that day. At first they will be negligible things, but as you become stronger you will see more and more good. Then, if you have a real bad day, you can read some of the better days. You literally have to train yourself to prefer happiness to sadness and to see the good in your world rather than the bad.

Most importantly, remember that you are only 19 years old. You have a lifetime of mistakes, experiences (both good and bad), friends, loves, etc. to go through. All of the things that don't work out will lead you to something new - more meaningful, more fulfilling and closer to where it is you are meant to be. It takes many, many more years to figure it all out, so don't be selling yourself short now!

After my last husband died (I was 48 years old) I thought I had no reason to live myself. I had no choice though, because I was raising a special needs child that we had adopted. One day I bought a digital camera on a whim. I started going out and taking photos of things that made me feel good. I think you will understand when I say that suddenly I began to see in colour again! My world have become so grey and dull that I wasn't seeing the beauty of nature anymore. I found that again with my camera. I began to live again. I know that my camera saved my life. Maybe that would help you. It's sure worth a try! :)

I can tell that you want to get past all that is bothering you and you are willing to do what you need to do to get through it or you wouldn't have posted here. So now, take whatever strength is left inside you... no matter how deeply hidden it may be... pick yourself up by your bootstraps and force yourself to do what you need to do to find happiness again. It's there... it truly is... you just have to reach out and work for it. Don't give up. You truly do have a great future. You have no idea yet how many people you are meant to touch in your lifetime, but I know it will be many. Don't cheat yourself... don't cheat them.

I ask you to put 100% of yourself into doing and finding things that make you, and others happy for six months. I believe that you will find yourself again. In fact, I believe you will find more of yourself that you even knew existed!

Best of luck to you.

Hugs, Didi