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View Full Version : Clingy date?


srhbr428
Mar 3, 2011, 07:31 AM
I recently got back into the dating scene. I'm 24. I started dating a 29 year old. The first date went really well. We both got along and clicked from the beginning. I went to his house to watch a movie and wound up crashing because it was late and I was tired. That's when it got weird. He didn't just cuddle, he smothered. Then he allowed his five year old son to sleep in the same room. I knew he had finished with a nasty custody battle with his son and someone had recently tried to break into his house, so I blamed it on that.

The second date was when it got stranger. He introduced me to his mother and then told me that he was afraid of pushing me away and started crying.

Part of me understands that it's hard for him because he worries about losing his son and he has a lot of baggage because of that. I want to be there for him because he is a really nice guy and I like him, but I'm not sure of how to approach the situation and things are moving way to fast for me.

southamerica
Mar 3, 2011, 07:37 AM
Wow. Yeah, I'd say things are moving WAY too fast. It's sweet of you to want to be there for him this quickly, but you guys are just starting. If you are feeling a little weirded out by the speed of things, you need to tell him that.

You can tell him without insensitivity to what he's going through, too. If it's starting like this, it's a good time to nip something in the bud: either the velocity or the relationship altogether.

I wish
Mar 3, 2011, 08:11 AM
He's got loads of baggage. He's emotionally unstable and he's very insecure.

You might be ready to date, but he doesn't sound like it. You'll have to wait for him to pick himself up, but that could take a while.

I suggest you leave him alone and meet new people.

martinizing2
Mar 3, 2011, 12:31 PM
I too would suggest that you tell him,
Be diplomatic and honest.

But he's in overdrive when you should still
Be backing out of the dirveway.

Letting misconceptions go untreated usually
Leads to bigger and bigger problems.

All relationships should be based on honesty and
The ability to communicate, start now.

talaniman
Mar 7, 2011, 07:34 AM
Start being very honest with him, and apply the brakes rather often. Dating is to get to know each other, not get attached. He may be a nice guy but he has issues he needs to work on himself, without your help. Go home after a date, and for a while, a long while, don't date at his house.

Falling in to deep, so soon will hurt you both, so don't ignore all the red flags waving wildly.