Can anyone advise me? I have cared for my friend Lorna Clare for ten years now after her dying husband Douglas asked me to look out for his wife if anything happened to him. Two weeks later he died and for ten years now I have kept my promise. Ten years went so quick! I am now 67 and realise only now that it has cost me a small fortune to look after Lorna. It is worse recently because I am now her LPA PA and the paper work managing her banks, shares, bills, tax and her care workers is taking me around ten hours a week plus another ten hours a week to tend to Lorna between care workers. She busted her hip and pelvis on the 19th Jan 2011 and today 1 March 2011 I enrolled her in a care home for a few weeks to get her strength back before going back to her own home and hopefully she can be cared for in her bungalow when walking again.

I am willing to care for her in her bunglow but because I have my own house, wife,bills offspring and grand children who all need some of my time, I would have to start charging Lorna for all that I do for her or I will end up peniless due to it costing me so much money over the years. It was OK when I was working, I could afford it, but I am now 67 and money is tight. Lorna is very wealthy. Can I legally charge her for what I do? I am afraid that if I charge Lorna the Law of the land could say I was stealing her money. If I CAN charge for my time and expenses how would I do this legally? I would be about half the cost of any care agency and would be doing EVERYTHING like I have done for ten years. Handyman, chauffer, chaperone, carer, gardener. I take her to Parks, opera, days out and take her shopping. Fuel for the car is £40 a week! What can I do, I really need to be paid something now that "I" am getting old... Lorna said she wants to give me £50,000 back pay as she calls it but I am afraid to take any of her money because I am now her LPA PA and it would seem I was lining my own pockets with her money. If I had the £50K I could put that towards my own old age costs which I have neglected for the passed ten years. I have always been afraid to take her money even when it has been a birthday present for me. Six years back she made me have £2000 for my birthday, I was short of money so I cashed the cheque and paid some bills with it then worried for weeks that I might go to prison or get in trouble. How can I legally charge her. She wants to pay me but I am afraid to take her money...

It's simple. She is still aware and talking, because you say she offered you a lump sum. You have a PA so there must be a lawyer somewhere handling her affairs, perhaps at the bank? Just arrange a meeting with the 3 of you and she can say, give my caregiver a check for the past and I want him to have a monthly check for the future. That way you aren't just helping yourself to money and angering any next of kin after she is gone.