Ive been with my boyfriend for a while now and he wants to have sex I can't talk to my mum about it I'm scared she will get mad but I want to know what's the best kind of contraception?

Abstinance is the only 100% effective form of birth control.

Until you are old enough and able to support yourself... then you shouldn't be having sex. Because NO form of birth contriol is 100% effective. And even if you use several, at once... and do it correctly. You can still get pregnant. We have several prominent members here that had kids despite using three different forms of birth control as proof of that.

And at your age... the odds are the guy isn't going ro do his part or even be around. That's reality... not fantasy.

No form of birth control is 100 percent, being on something like a oral birth control and using condoms ( doing both) is safer but there are people who have babies doing both.

So are you ready to be a mom ? Is he working and ready to support and pay for a child ?

Sex equals children, so till you are ready don't.

Next so he wants to, tell him no,

Ive been with my boyfriend for a while now and he wants to have sex i can't talk to my mum about it im scared she will get mad but i want to know whats the best kind of contraception?

Both answers above are very informative and very accurate. I will leave their answers intact. What I picked up on is the word above (in bold)...

Maybe it's a typo of words, maybe not.

Both answers above are very informative and very accurate. I will leave their answers intact. What I picked up on is the word above (in bold)....

Maybe it's a typo of words, maybe not.

Nope... seems to me we got another girl that is being pushed into something she clearly isn't ready for or understands the full ramnifications of... by a guy only interested in getting in her pants.

Apple, it is OKAY to tell your boyfriend that you are uncomfortable and not ready to have sex. I sense that you are not only scared to talk to your mother, but you are scared. I may be wrong, but that's what I'm picking up. No form of contraception is 100%, as others have already said, and you need to make sure that you are ready for any possible consequences of sex.

At no age will a good guy (or girl) pressure someone they care about into sex or anything else. I promise you that if you listen to what you want and are honest with him-if he cares about you-he will understand.

I've been going out with him for 2 years now so I think I am ready to. I just want to be resposable about it and use protection I know nothing is 100% safe but its better than nothing, I'm just unsure what is best to use.

Having sex is not something you are reasonable about, and it is not something you make a deal out of.

If you must, you use oral birth control and a condom, make sure you are using the oral control for at least a full month first.

I'm just wondering how you're going to tell your mom you're pregnant (if your birth control fails, which has been known to happen plenty) or that you have an std if you can't even talk to her about birth control?

But chuck is right. Talk to your doctor about starting the pill. Maybe even ask for a diaphragm too. And always, always, always make him wear a condom. If he won't wear one, don't have sex.

Its not that I can't talk to her about birth control its id rather not I really don't want her to over react and give me a lecture or ground me from seeing my boyfriend my parents are very strict. I know you can get pregnant from sex but should I never have sex, until I'm old

How old are you Apple11?

I don't see why it matters how old I am but I'm 16

Its not that i can't talk to her about birth control its id rather not i really dont want her to over react and give me a lecture or ground me from seeing my boyfriend my parents are very strict. i know u can get pregnant from sex but should i never have sex, until im old

Actually correct, you should not be having sex till you are old enough to support and raise a child and the boyfriend can support you and the child.

So yes you should wait till you are very old, even 19 or 20

It matters a great deal.

Herpes is forever...

So is AIDS, and there are plenty of kids you age that have both...

HPV is also epidemic and doesn't always have visible symptoms.

THey are all STD's.

Getting pregnant isn't the worst (or the only thing) thing that can happen. There are others, and if your so-called friends actually knew even 10% of what they think they know... they could consider themselves lucky.

And you actually do know someone with HPV... and Herpes... you just don't know which ones.

And condoms and bith control do little if anything to protect you from contracting them.

I know about stds but I don't see that happening seeing as we both have never had sex before

i know about stds but i dont see that happening seeing as we both have never had sex before

You've also never been pregnant before, but it does happen. Contraception fails. I was on the pill, used it religiously, also used a condom. Got pregnant not once but twice. Luckily I was married at the time.

I was also rendered sterile by chemotherapy after having cancer. Guess what, yup, I got pregnant a few years later.

If you can't talk to your mother about birth control, how will you talk to her about pregnancy?

Apple: I hope you see why we are advising against this. Just browse around this site and every few minutes we get a post about a teenager becoming pregnant and not knowing what to do, how to handle it, etc...

When it comes down to it, this is a decision you will end up making and we're simply trying to show you what can happen whether you're careful or not. 16 is far too young to get mixed up into anything like that. You have far more important things to worry about and focus on and sex shouldn't be one of them.

I am the youngest person posting on this thread (only 7yrs older than you) and I know how things are now-a-days and I am being sort of a hipacrit (lost my virginity at 17) but coming from someone who has been where you are (recently) I wish I would have waited.

This person you are interested in having sex with is most likely not the one you will be with down the road and then all of this will seem silly. At that point you too would wish you would have waited.

You have the rest of your life to have sex, use this time to focus on the things you only do once. (like High School)

i know about stds but i dont see that happening seeing as we both have never had sex before

You really know exactly what he has done or hasn't done exactly how?

WHat he told you? You are aware guys... particularly YOUNG guys lie all the time to get in a girls pants. Do you know how I know that... I was once a young guy. And I know what my friends did... and I know what I did at that age. There is NOTHING they won't say to get a girl to spread her legs... if they really mean it or not.

I don't want to get pregnant but I know heaps of people that have sex and don't get pregnant using protection.I love my boyfriend and I want to do this with him.Like I said before its not that I can't talk to my mother about birth control its just they are pretty strict and I'm scared shell go mental.I think things happen in your life for a reason if I was to get pregnant then I would deal with it just like everything else in my life I've dealt with.Not that I want to and that's why I ask about contrception

And we know heaps of people that have gotten pregnant using protection. It is your choice, but realize that pregnancy and stds are a very real possibility.

YOu think he's going to be your poyfriend in 3 more years... I'm willing to put down a bet that he won't be. And if you get knoocked up... I will guarantee you he won't be.

You want to talk about going mental... try not getting any sleep for the mext 9+ months when you have to wake up to feed the kid you think can't ever happen every 2 or 3 hours.

At 16 you think things happen for a reason... hmmm they do, and it usually because of a stupid choice you make and not some devine intervention or fate that's at fault.

You are 16... you haven't dealt with anything yet. Your parents worry about all the important and hard stuff... you haven't even been exposed to hard decisions yet.

Wait until you are a single mom... with a baby to raise... the boyfriend abandoned you, pays nothing and you are at the end of the month... rent and utilities are due... you have no money and you won't have enough money in your next check as a waitress won't be enough to cover the bills AND for you to buy food...

And any choice you make will have dire consequences.


Try dealing with that real situation. There are thousands of single moms dealing with that all the time.

And none expected to get pregnant... and all of them thought they guy that took off really cared about them.

That's a reality check... while you are still living at home with mom and dad taking care of everything your life is purely a fantasy. Once you become part of the real world... if you need something you earn it or do without. And sometimes that might mean going without food.


I know you already have it all figured out (and everyone else is wrong)... but in a few years you are going to find out nothing is how you expected it to be. You aren't the first... and you won't be the last.

The problem with reality... is the more unrealistic your expectations were... the harder its going to hit you.

And if you think I couldn't possibly know anyone in your specific situation... you would be wrong. I've known more than a few.

And contrary to what you think... we are trying to help you here. If you are looking to find someone that will ignore reality and what might happen just to agree with you. You looked in the wrong place. Nobody here wants to see you end up a high school dropout, single mom. And most girls that get pregnant at your age end up as one.

We've already said what is thought to be the "most" safe way to have protected sex, so since that's what you're asking about-there you have it.

I think we've pretty much gotten blue in the face trying to plead with you to wait. There are many reasons, pregnancy, stds, and emotions are on the top of the list. You're asking what type of contraception is the best-well none of them are going to magically keep you from getting pregnant, the only way to achieve that is to not have sex.
And like was said, fate and divine intervention don't play in teen pregnancies... sex is THE cause for teen and adult pregnancies.

At the end of the day, you will make your own decisions.

Thanks for the advice I do respect all everyone has to said maybe I should just wait

And a point nobody has made... there are right ways and wrong ways to use condoms... and its not as simple as it might seem at face value. Like what you touched before putting them on and transferred to the outside. If you ever got ink or paint on your fingers anddidn't realise you did you remember the fingerprints everyplace? Well that could be other things just as easy.

Also there are a number of things that can render birth control pills ineffective. Like certain common antibiotics as only one example.

And its not always clear what will or when without speaking to a pharmacist.

thanks for the advice i do respect all everyone has to said maybe i should just wait

That's a good idea. You don't have a clue how many babies I have delivered to young teens who got pregnant their first time. You don't know how many young teens have to have a cesarean section because they contracted an STD from their "boyfriend" after he told the girl he was a virgin. It's astounding how many babies I have delivered to girls/women who used multiple forms of birth control.

In the end, if you are not physically, emotionally, and financially ready to be a mother, don't have sex.