Hi,

My boyfriend has a regular pattern of breaking up with me. Just yesterday the latest I told him before that if this happens again I won't take him back. It always goes the same way 3 weeks previous he will start to get emotionally withdrawn and hardly speaking with me. He will seam absent minded and preoccupied. Then he will find sooner or later due to my frustrations of him just being silent a reason to break up. When that is done he will start sending texts trying to make me think he is thinking about going with someone else,which he hopes makes me run to him and declare my love to him. Don't get me wrong I have noticed the pattern by now. But what I don't understand is why does he do that? Just no interest in the relationship? Am not sure on how to react this timme as we bought a flat together, so there is still a lot of stuff that needs sorting out.

It takes two to tango.
You keep taking him back, why? And now you have given an ultimatum, so if you don't keep it, he will only see you as someone he can do more of this to.
I know you are sort of stuck having bought a flat together, but you can always sell it or one of you buys the other out.
Why he acts this way only he can answer. Many people act the way their parents acted.

Sounds like you have real problems communicating. Maybe he feels he can't talk to you, when you argue does it turn in to a stale mate or are you able to reach a compromise?

Hi Jackfally,

When there is any disagreement he doesn't want to talk but rather leaves the flat and leaves a paper where he says he finishes. That's what just happened now. And yes I was so stupid to take him back in the past, he promised to cmmunicate better with me but after a certain period, he just turns into a speechless fridge again. After that he disappears again. Would just really love to know what's going on in his head. In the latest text message he accused me of "not giving him enough passionate sex" in the last month 6 month. That is usually the phase that follows abusive text messages. Then when he had enough free time he will try and arrange a Talk to get back together, usually through the means of making me jealous.

@Joypulv I took him always back cause I thought he loves me but is just unable to communicate. I realize now that there doesn't seamto have been that much love from his side at all.

You can only beat your head against the wall so many times.

I wouldn't feel too secure w/someone that has no problem breaking up willy nilly.

Cause he knows you will come running back, or feel stuck. He doesn't have to man up or do anything.

Communication is the foundation of all healthy relationships. If he cant, then he's either got to fix that asap, or say goodbye to you for good.

Sounds to me he's only and it for the sex. I suggest you leave him alone. He's already been using you next will be yourself esteem & u'll take all the crap he throws at u. You should leave while you got the chance.