PDA

View Full Version : Am I selfish that I'm upset about my best friend and ex dating?


ifeelsolost
Feb 26, 2011, 09:08 PM
My best friend and I have been friends since we were little we grew up together. I met my ex through my best friend she hooked us together. We had a somewhat distant relationship but I was still so happy with him. Three months later he broke up with me because "feelings changed". When in fact feelings hadn't changed, I had all the feelings I just never showed him or told him because I was afraid of letting him know and getting hurt. Either way we broke up. My best friend and my ex are also best friends, where they would hang out all the time. Then they decided to date another. I still I have really strong feelings, feelings I never shared with him, and I get that them being together makes them happy. But why aren't I happy? I feel so selfish because I still want to be with him. But I'm not the girl who goes out with her best friends ex's. I don't want any one to get hurt but them being together doesn't make me happy. I'm feel so selfish.

Wondergirl
Feb 26, 2011, 09:15 PM
Wasn't he "hers" before he was "yours"? You said she introduced you to him. Things didn't work out with you and him (and it was only three months), so she and he decided to try.

I don't see that there's anything to get upset over.

ifeelsolost
Feb 26, 2011, 09:28 PM
I get where you are coming from. But they were just friends. She was the one who told me he liked me and that I should get to know him. I gave him a chance and got to know him and I liked him, a lot.

I was really upset when we broke up and she wasn't there for me, instead she was hanging out with him.

I just feel hurt, she knew how I felt and didn't care as long as she was happy. I'm glad they are happy don't get me wrong, it's just I really feel like a bad person feeling the way I do.

Wondergirl
Feb 26, 2011, 09:40 PM
You yourself said you never even told him or showed him that you liked him. For all he knew, you were always looking over his shoulder at other guys.

She's been your friend since forever, and this "incident" with him was only three months. I don't get my hair cut that often. (Hmmm, that reminds me -- last time I got it cut was on Nov. 9th. Time to make an appointment.)

ifeelsolost
Feb 26, 2011, 09:56 PM
Maybe I should have rephrased that. I didn't show him enough* of how I felt.
You can tell people how you feel, but you can always express more of how you feel.

I just want to clarity that I wasn't looking at anyone else. I wanted to be with him, and him only. I still want to be with him...

But your right. She's been my friend forever. Hence why I'm happy for them. But I'm still upset.

But thanks for your input. && you might want make that appointment sooner than later.

Wondergirl
Feb 26, 2011, 10:15 PM
but I'm still upset.
You have a right to your feelings, but I'd be kicking myself for not letting him know how much I liked him. It would sure never happen again!

you might want make that appointment sooner than later.
I'm in the Chicago area. We finally saw wonderful beautiful dead, brown grass for the first time this week (since T'giving). Maybe spring is coming after all -- and I think I'll order a Katie Holmes bob this time.