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View Full Version : Help, My EX is doing my head in!


Indigogal65
Feb 24, 2011, 05:53 PM
Hi, I was seeing my ex for about 8 months. We did a lot together and seemed to be a great couple. He is getting divorced & fighting for visitation rights for his children, so he has some issues.

We spent Xmas together and on Boxing day he introduced me to his children and we got along really well. The following day we had a little argument and he used that to tell me "He wasnt sure if he wanted to be with me anymore" I need some time. So I gave him sometime, a week later he TXT me and says I need to step back for a while, its not terminal. So I didn't contact him for a further 2 weeks.

He started to give me mixed signals (presents) calling me, talking like we were still together. I asked what was going on and he said, I don't know, Im confused. So I asked him to stop the mixed signals etc etc, and he agreed, 2 days later he calls me to tell me he has a present and can he bring it over.

He brought over 25 bottles of red wine and stayed for a couple of hours. 2 days after that he asked if he could come over as he has another present. He brought over and installed a wireless router, again, he stayed for a couple of hours talking and looking at me with puppy dog eyes. He has booked himself a flight to thailand for a week as he said his head is spinning, and needs a holiday. He then called me and asked if he could come over as he needed a haircut and he wanted me to cut his hair, again he stayed for 2 hours and left. I have been supportive of him in everyway.

Last week he found out I was going to dinner with a mutual friend of ours and he invited himself, I agreed and he said to let him know the time and date. When I text him the details he didn't answer until the last minute and showed up. He sat next to me, talked like nothing was wrong, asked for a hug and left after dinner.

2 days later he said he was buying me a external hard drive and wanted to come over and set it up and help me download movies. I see him on the odd occasion at work and he always comes up and chats with me. He hasn't told anyone at work we are having a break. He is contantly calling me up on MSN, or txting me every 2 days. I don't want to ask what is going on again, as I have been rejected a few times. 2 days ago he sent me a text and asked if I would be home that night. I replied yes, he said "Great" I will turn on Messenger at work and we can have a chat.

I went online at home and waited. He didn't come online and he hasn't contacted me since - that was 3 days ago. I don't know what he is wanting. I have not being contacting him, he contacts me. Can anyone shed any light on this situation, its killing me. I am prepared to move on, and every time I seem to start doing that, he comes in and confuses me again...

talaniman
Feb 24, 2011, 10:19 PM
He isn't confusing you. You are confusing yourself, by accepting his gifts, and giving your time. You could stop that whenever you wanted so don't blame him for your confusion or inability to say NO.

Hey, the guy is working his way through a divorce, and the last thing he needs is a girl friend. Either understand his healing, and enjoy your gifts, and attention, or leave him alone, and reject him, as he rejected you.

If you are prepared to move on, ignore/reject his contact, and just do your own thing without him.

hidden123
Feb 25, 2011, 09:24 AM
I agree with Talaniman - either be his friend and accept and enjoy his attention and gifts, or, if this is not what you want, stop being available to him.

If the guy is going through a divorce - being his girlfriend now doesn't sound like a fair thing to you - as you're very likely to be a rebound any way.

If you feel like you're ready to move on - I think it's best to do just that. May be you can resume being friends or more (who knows) later. But for now - you can just tell him that you need some time away and him popping in all the time like that is in a way of your moving on. It's not all about him after all. Your life is about you.

Good luck!

nitelight198073
Mar 22, 2011, 10:29 AM
I agree with my friends.. rebounds are no good.. be his friend whatever... but I really hope that neither one of you ends up hurt