5 yrs ago I was fooling around with a guy and I became pregnant I didn't want to have an abortion and the guy didn't want to have the baby, so we came into mutual agrement that I would keep the baby and I would not ask him for anything... I had to ask for welfare and now they are going after him... he already has a family of his own and starting his own family as well as I am, now welfare is taking us both into court can I lie and say he is not the father or will they make him take a DNA test? How can I do it so that they can leave him a lone so that he can go on with his life and I can go on with mine?

5 yrs ago I was fooling around with a guy a berely knew and I became pregnant he didn't want anyhting to do with the baby and I didn't want to have a abortion, so we had a mutual agrement that I would keep the baby and I would never ask for anything, like it never happened I went on with my life and so did he, he started a family and so did I, my husband now has been raising that child since he was 2 months old, now I had to get into welfare and now welfare is asking him to pay child suppor and they are taking us both to court... I need to find out how I can get the court to dismiss the real father of my son from paying child support or any kind of support so that he can move on with his life and so that my husband can adopt my child, will the court make the biological father take a DNA test or can I just say I got the wrong guy and I have no idea who the father of my baby is?? I need any kind of help I can get so that I can put all of this behind me and so that me and my son never have to deal or bother the real father of my son

Lying in court would be perjury, a criminal offence.

First, I'm not a lawyer.

Why would you want to compound the situation by lying in court. Lying under oath is not taken lightly. Welfare has every right to ask who the father is. Did you name him on your claim? Who is on the birth certificate? If asked in court to name the father, what will you answer?

I'm not sure if a DNA test would be ordered.

Don't lie. He's responsible for his sons welfare just as much as you are, new family or not.

He is not on the birth certificate, can't I just say I got the wrong guy? Can't he say he doesn't even remember being with me? I did named him on the claim

Someday, maybe sooner than later, your child may need medical information (or other info) pertaining to his father's family and genes. By lying now, you will be setting up your child and you for a great deal of future tragedy and legal mess.

Don't lie. This is real life. No more game playing and false promises, please.

OK so how can I do it legally where he has no right and so that he can get out of this mess with no strings attached

ok so how can i do it legally where he has no right and so that he can get out of this mess with no strings attached
You can't.

Here is the sticky that you should have read before you posted in Family Law --

Signing Over rights-** READ FIRST **
This is a very frequently asked question here. And frequently answered. The following is a summary of the facts and covers most jurisidictions.

1) A bio parent cannot be forced to relinquish their rights, it has to be voluntary.
a) The only exceptions to this are where the bio parent cannot be found after a good faith effort to contact them or in cases where the bio parent represents a danger to the child.

2) Most areas make it difficult for a bio parent to relinquish their parental rights. Usually its allowed only to clear the way for adoption of the child.

3) Relinquishment of rights refers only to the right to have a say in how a child is raised.

4) Relinquishment of parental rights may or may not affect parental responsibility depending on local laws. The parent can still be held responsible for child support or it will be even harder to get a Termination of Parental Rights. A TPR is NOT going to be granted just to let the parent off the hook for support.

5) The only thing that allows ending responsibility is if the child is adopted, in which case the adoptive parents assume that responsibility.

Those are the facts and apply to almost all circumstances in almost all areas. There are several threads here that discuss this issue in greater depth. I would suggest reading them before posting a question.

On a personal note, I do not recommend relinquishing rights unless its to clear the way for adoption. A child deserves to know his parents, not matter how bad the person may have been. People can change.

OK so how can I do it legally where he has no right and so that he can get out of this mess with no strings attached

You talk to a lawyer and do it through the courts.

Wow this really helps a lot, my husband now has been raising my child since he was 2 months and has been wanting to adopt him, the bio father has agreed on all these terms he has his own family to worry about and we both agreed that my son has a father a father that has been there for him since he was 2 months... so all the bio dad has to do is to give up his right and my husband will then adopt my child and we both take responsibility and he's off the hook right!!

Were you maried to your husband at the time the child was born ?

No I was not

Then your only next step is to have the bio father agree to an adoption. That way your husband can adopt and the bio father is relinquished of his rights.

Great, yes that's what the bio father wants anyway he doesn't want to come in and try to play daddy when he know that my son has a father already... thanks

If the moms admits I'm not the father in court would it be enough to clear me from child support

No. The court will require a paternity test to absolutely determine paternity.

Even if I'm not on the birth certificate and didn't sign anything

even if i'm not on the birth certificate and didn't sign anything

If you are not on the because and didn't sign anything then why is a court involved? The only way you would be involved in this is if the mother named you as a possible father as part of some court proceeding. Once that happened, the courts will probably require a paternity test to eliminate you.

Why don't you tell us the whole story so we can truly help.

About 4 yrs ago I got pregnant but really never knew who the father was I had a good idea but I never told this guy I just took it upon myseld to have the baby and deal with it, I made a mistake and I put this guy on the welfare claim and now they are going after him for child support, this guy gets a hold of me and is freaking out he is married and has kids, and I never told him he might have a son, now welfare is taking us to cort, what will happen to him, will he have to pay back child support if he is the father will they make him take a DNA test? What will happened to me because I never told this guy he might have a son? My son has been raised by my husband now since he was 2 months and he has been wanting to adopt him and this other guy and I have a mutual agreement that if the court makes him take a DNA test and he is the father he will turn all rights to me so that my husband can adopt my child and we will pretend like nothing ever happened... I really need help on this situation. Its not this guys fault I never told him he had a son, I do not want to disrupt his life with his wife and kids this was all my fault

about 4 yrs ago i got pregnant but really never knew who the father was i had a good idea but i never told this guy i just took it upon myseld to have the baby and deal with it, i made a mistake and i put this guy on the welfare claim and now they are going after him for child support, this guy gets a hold of me and is freaking out he is married and has kids, and i never told him he might have a son, now welfare is taking us to cort, what will happen to him, will he have to pay back child support if he is the father will they make him take a DNA test? what will happend to me because i never told this guy he might have a son? my son has been raised by my husband now since he was 2 months and he has been wanting to adopt him and this other guy and i have a mutual agreement that if the court makes him take a DNA test and he is the father he will turn all rights to me so that my husband can adopt my child and we will pretend like nothing ever happend... I really need help on this situation. its not this guys fault i never told him he had a son, i do not want to disrupt his life with his wife and kids this was all my fault

They will definitely make him take a DNA test to determine if he is, in fact, the child's father.

And you're right - it's not his fault. It's yours. If you didn't want to disrupt his life, you should have been honest 4 years ago.

The court has to approve any adoption - your husband cannot simply volunteer and the father cannot simply say he doesn't want his rights.

All of that aside, I think it's pretty crummy that you haven't learned from your mistakes and now want to continue to sweep this under the rug. When your son gets older, he's going to notice that there is no father's name on his birth certificate. What are you going to do then - lie to him some more about who his father is?

On second thought, never mind. You're full of crap:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/mutual-agreement-between-real-father-son-me-557215.html

You've gone from "agreeing to keep the baby yourself" to "I never told him" to "I never knew who the father was."

You want to know if you can lie in court - you do realize you're under oath while in court, correct? Although I'm sure that means nothing to someone like you. Lying and hiding is easier than being a stand-up, honest citizen.

Oh... they are going to make him take a DNA test... and if he's smart.. he will take it in case its really not his.

The state understandibly doesn't want to waste state taxpayers money raising kids the parents or even one parent is capable of paying for.

What you can or can't do in the court you are going to need a lawyer in your state to determine.

There is a sticky at the top of this forum pertaining to parental rights you might want to read.

It would be nice if they could keep their story straight, too. On their first two threads, they were asking as the mother. On the third thread(this one), they're asking as the father. Now on the fourth thread, they're asking as the mother again.

I will deal with telling him once he is old enough, I just want to get this over with!

So you lied to the child's father, you're lying to your child, you're lying to us here. And you want us to help you?

Really?!?

You guys really don't understand what I'm going throgh here! Im happy with my life and so is this guy I want nothing to change

you guys really dont understand what im going throgh here!! Im happy with my life and so is this guy i want nothing to change

Right - you're happy. Screw the kid and what's best for him!

And I understand you just fine. You're a liar and a deceiver. You want to continue to lie to and deceive your child. That's your issue, not mine.

You applied for welfare, now they're going after the alleged father for child support. You're not getting out of this one.

One way to get over this is for you and or your husband to go out and get a job and support your child. You want to get over this but you want someone else (the taxpayer) to support you.

See, we do understand.

On second thought, never mind. You're full of crap:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/mutual-agreement-between-real-father-son-me-557215.html

You've gone from "agreeing to keep the baby yourself" to "I never told him" to "I never knew who the father was."

You want to know if you can lie in court - you do realize you're under oath while in court, correct? Although I'm sure that means nothing to someone like you. Lying and hiding is easier than being a stand-up, honest citizen.

Oooooooo as I read that other post it totally flys in the opposite direction that this post would appear to indicate.

Lie once and you lose ALL credibility on this Board. There are enough honest people out there, asking questions. To spend the time on people pulling scams.

Guess maybe Welfare/taxpayers won't support you and your child and you'll have to get a job. Gee, just like the rest of us.

You attempted to scam AMHD and you are attempting to scam Welfare and anyone else you come upon.

Time to close this thread.

OP is incapable of telling the "whole" story or, for that matter, the straight story.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/never-told-him-he-might-have-son-557518-2.html

Maybe combining ALL her threads would be a good idea.

Maybe combining ALL her threads would be a good idea.

Or banning her/him. Although this IS somewhat entertaining...

No two postings are the same - there are at least two other versions of the story. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/never-told-him-he-might-have-son-557518.html

Thanks califdad, but you're wasting your time. We have a big-time troll on our hands. Her story keeps changing; she says here that they agreed she would raise the child - on her new thread, she's saying she never told him and didn't know WHO the father was.

>threads merged<

You realize that you're not very bright, I hope.

Your son deserves his complete biological and medical history, regardless how YOU feel about it.

And sorry--but if you had to get state aid, the father DOES have to pay child support. Why the hell should taxpayers support your child just because you and the father are no longer together? If you knew you couldn't support a child, then you should have chosen adoption.

The state SHOULD be paid back, and the biological father will likely be forced to do so. And YES, they will do a DNA test.

Lying in court just makes YOU look unfit to parent. What kind of idiot do you think the judge is? And what kind of lesson is that teaching your son? "Gee, kid, it's okay to lie when it will get you whatever you want, regardless what the law says".

Grow up and be a responsible parent--STARTING with being honest in court.

you guys really dont understand what im going throgh here!! Im happy with my life and so is this guy i want nothing to change

Really... all of us actually have FULL TIME JOBS. And many of us also have families too.

Problem is YOU opened up a can of worms by expecting taxpayers to fund your lifestyle.

You are both welcome to get jobs and do what you wish within reason... but when you leach off the taxpayers... there are rules that have to be followed. And as far as I'm concerned... there aren't nearly enough rules being laid down.

Incidentally... I grew up around a lot of Welfare people... what the Politically correct people call Public assistance. My mother actually worked for head start until she got so disgusted by the entitlment mentality so many of that group had she up and quit.

SO I know that group all too well. Many ARE happy to sit around and collect money rather than have to get up and go to work.

Sorry... I've been busting my butt every day for the last 30 years to pay my bills... AND the damn taxes that go to pay for illegals schooling.. Illegals medical care... and for welfare and Medicaid... for people that never finished high school or get jobs... that I have little left over to put aside for my own retirement.

Sorry... but wefare handouts and illegals entitlements... two things that make my blood boil.

But even more so... are people that think its fine to lie and decieve to get handouts they aren't entitled to otherwise receive.

If he's the dad... make HIM pay rather than the taxpayer... that kid didn't spontainiously develop on its own. It took two to make it. And the taxpayers, all but one of them anyway at most (assuming he works and pays taxes) weren't there.

Out of greenies but... applause.

Same here, Judy.

Yes, my parents got some benefits while I was growing up. Yes, my family has received some benefits.

But we ALL worked and paid into the system. We weren't sitting at home collecting a check and doing nothing to pay it back.

Same here, Judy.

Yes, my parents got some benefits while I was growing up. Yes, my family has received some benefits.

But we ALL worked and paid into the system. We weren't sitting at home collecting a check and doing nothing to pay it back.


Out of greenies but I shouldn't stand by the mailbox, waiting for my check to arrive?

Want to hear how I worked three, yes, count them, three, jobs after my divorce in order to hold onto my house?

You know what I really hate? When I go to sleep not knowing who the father of my child is and then I wake up and - bingo! Four years later and I remember! I hate when that happens.

Out of greenies but I shouldn't stand by the mailbox, waiting for my check to arrive?

Want to hear how I worked three, yes, count them, three, jobs after my divorce in order to hold onto my house?

You know what I really hate? When I go to sleep not knowing who the father of my child is and then I wake up and - bingo! Four years later and I remember! I hate when that happens.

I hate the fact that there actually are women who sleep with so many guys they really don't know who the father is when the inevitable happens.

And yes I knew one like that... ( try 11 in one night alone, and no there wasn't DNA testing at the time). No I wasn't one of them.


Of course they end up on welfare popping one after another out with little thought of how to support them because a trip to the welfare office and its all covered.

How many threads are you going to start on this?

This thread is closed. If you want to continue to post, post where your threads were already merged.

My prediction, Synn? They're going to keep creating new threads until some moron stumbles onto the site & tell them they can lie, cheat and steal - at which point, the OP will disappear forever.